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tbradsim1

tbradsim1

Lifer
Jan 14, 2012
9,104
11,066
Southwest Louisiana
Subject: Hobo Love: for MCPs... the sicko ones
I can only send this to my most seriously twisted friends. You all made the cut.
A seriously depressed woman stands at the edge of a cliff, trying to get the nerve up to jump. A passing hobo stops and says, "Since you're about to kill yourself anyway, would you mind if we had sex first?"
The woman said "Hell no! Get away from me you sicko!"
The bum turned to leave and muttered, "Fine, I'll just go wait at the bottom.
As soon as I find something more inspiring, I'll send it.

 
iamn8

iamn8

Lifer
Sep 8, 2014
4,248
14
Moody, AL
There just aren't enough good suicide jokes. You know, so far as a population goes, hobos are generally quite supportive when it comes to dealing with life's problems. Perhaps she should've shared with him and partake in a moment of harmless intimacy?

 
johnnyreb

johnnyreb

Lifer
Aug 21, 2014
1,961
612
A Gentle Southern lady
A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man afixin' to jump.
She stopped her car, rolled down the window & said, "Please don't jump, Think of your dear mother & father!"
The man replied, "Mom & Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump!"
She said, "Well, think of your wife & children then!"
He replied, "I'm not married & I don't have kids."
Trying to think quickly she said, "Well,..... Think of General Robert E. Lee then!!"
He replied, ''Who the hell is Robert E. Lee?''
She replied, ''Well bless your pea-pickin' heart, just go ahead & jump you dumb ass Yankee!"

 
tbradsim1

tbradsim1

Lifer
Jan 14, 2012
9,104
11,066
Southwest Louisiana
This is a true HOBO Story. I worked at Exxon with an old man we called Catain Griggs. He left the house during the depression and HOBO "ED. The start of WWII he was working for Exxon at the Refinery and was 4F. He was a Pumpman takeing care of our feed stocks. He had a truck and came to our Unit a lot, when he smoked if I could I would smoke with him on the smoking bench, his stories were great. One night I asked him Cap you ever did anything you were really ashamed of. He looked at me and said, well Bradley during the war a lot of Ladies had there husbands fighting away. I met this Lady in the Bar and soon we were at a motel and proceeded to get down to business. She suddenly started crying and I sai What's wrong? She said here my husband is in the Pacific fighting and I"m doing this. I asked him Cap what did you do? Now I " m not going to use the F word but it is approiate here. He toldl me

WE CRIED AND WE SCREWED, WE CRIED AND WE SCREWED! Cross my heart True Story,

 
frank13

frank13

Can't Leave
Oct 5, 2014
410
2
Bakersfield, CA
OMG... That's hilarious.
There was a Southern gal in a waiting room, and a Northern gal reading a magazine. The Southern gal, just being friendly, says, "Where y'all from?" The Northern gal, lowers her magazine and glares at the Southern gal, and says,"From a place where we know not to end a sentence with a preposition!" and goes back to her magazine.
The Southern gal looks down, bites her lip, and then looks up and says brightly, "Where y'all from, bitch?"

 
johnnyreb

johnnyreb

Lifer
Aug 21, 2014
1,961
612
Do you know what the difference between a divorce and a tornado in Arkansas is?
No difference. Either way someone's gonna lose a damn fine trailer house!
With all due respect, my apologies to my Arkansas brethren and anyone living in a damn fine trailer house wherever you may be.

 
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