It had to happen......................

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crazypipe

Lifer
Sep 23, 2012
3,484
0
It had to happen sooner or later............. Blonde Men!
A friend told the blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."the blonde man

then said, "Let's hope it's not on the 13th."

---------------------------------

Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.

One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"

The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

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A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the

next time you & your wife are having sex.

The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

---------------------------------

A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"

He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."

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A blonde man goes to the vet With his goldfish.

"I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the Vet.

The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."

The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."

---------------------------------

A blonde man spies a letter Lying on his doormat.

It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ."

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

---------------------------------

A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone.

"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" asks the doctor.

"No," he shouts, "this is her husband!"

---------------------------------

A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.

A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.

The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging!"

---------------------------------

A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.

His wife says, "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"

He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.

"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.

"Here boy Here boy!" he replies.

---------------------------------

A blonde man is in jail.The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet."Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.

"Hanging myself," the blonde man replies.

"It should be around your neck," says the guard.

"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

---------------------------------

(This one actually makes sense..)
A tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba divers always fall

Backwards off their boats?"

To which the blonde man replies:"If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat".

 

warren

Lifer
Sep 13, 2013
11,733
16,332
Foothills of the Chugach Range, AK
coalsmoke: Exactly! But, they are only, really funny when the butt of the joke is recognized as an absurdity when the joke is told.
Hollywood spent years and a lot of money creating the "dumb blond." It's a bit Victorian and,now a days I suppose, sexiest, to use blonde as feminine and blond as exclusively male. Very UnPC and passe, unacceptable to certain members of our society, might even result in an EEO complaint and all the other irrelevant observations of Political Correctness Police.
The jokes might also work if an alumnus of, say Georgia Tech substituted "dawg" for blond.
The point being that these types of jokes are used to poke fun, or as "put downs", at likely targets. Seahawk fans making Bronco fans the butt of the joke would work today. There has to be a target that is recognized by all concerned to be "dumb" or at least perceived to be of lessor mental or physical abilities from the teller of the joke and his audience.

 

cobguy

Lifer
Oct 18, 2013
3,742
15
What's brown, black & blue and laying in a ditch??
A brunette that told one too many blonde jokes! :puffy:

 
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