My first impression that I was dead was when I noticed my body beneath a UPS truck.
That’s when I noticed I was floating above the truck. At first, I wasn't aware that I was looking at my body. I thought the body I was starring down at was that of another person. Then I noticed the body’s face, and the broken, twisted, mess of a body lying beneath the truck. That heap of messy flesh had my face on it.
Then I noticed the clothes that were on that broken, mangled body. The twisted body below me was wearing the same shirt and pants that I had dressed myself in that morning. That was the moment I realized that something strange had happened to me. I remember asking myself. If that is my body down there, then how can I be up here? “Oh my God.” I thought. “Am I dead?”
At that moment of recognition I began to see images of what had happened. It all came back to me as I starred down at the scene below. I watched strangers as they stood over my mangled body. Some were trying to help me.
One guy in a business suit asked. “Hey mister? You okay?”
“Damn Joe, I think he’s dead.” His friend told him.
“Oh man. Look how flat his chest is.” A young nerd remarked. “And his legs are all bent and busted.”
What happened was coming back to me. It was like I was watching a movie in replay mode. I saw me crossing the street on my way to the donut shop, when suddenly…I never saw the UPS truck coming as I stepped into the road. Apparently the driver never saw me either. The next thing I knew I was above myself looking down at my body.
”Should we call a Doctor?” The young nerd asked as he sipped a Late.
“Naw. This guys DOA man, history, done, el-deado. Call the Hearst.” The nerd’s friend answered.
By now a crowd of people had gathered over my corpse. Some of them were crying, some were screaming, and a few laughed.
“Man. How dumb can ya be. Just walked out in front of a UPS truck.” The nerd said, again sipping his Latte.
After a few more minutes I watched as an ambulance pulled up to the scene. Two paramedics ran over to my body and started to examine me.
“No pulse Tom.” One of them said.
“His heart has stopped Mike.” The other remarked. “Let’s bag this one. It’s too late for him.” He said as he looked at his watch. “And it’s almost break time.”
By now, from my spot above my body I realized that a very interesting thing was occurring. Just by thinking a thought of a place, I could transmit myself to that place. I remember thinking of my poor wife at work while all this was happening. As I thought about her I was then transported to where she worked and I watched her at her desk as I hovered over her. Then I thought about the accident scene and I was then transported back there again. After a while I went to the neighborhood where I grew up. And then I thought about Arizona where I had been stationed in the Air Force and I was immediately transported there. I found myself enjoying these trips and I told myself how neat it was to travel like this. After a while I thought about my poor wife again, and there I was hovering over her desk when her phone rang.
“Mrs. ---------?”
“Yes.”
“This is the hospital. Ugh! And I hate to inform you…but your husband is dead. He was run over by a UPS truck.”
“You gotta be kidding me”? My poor wife answered.
“No Mrs. ----- I’m not kidding. What do you want us to do with his body?”
“Well are you sure it’s my husband?”
“I can describe him to you if you’d like?”
“Please. I wanna make sure he‘s dead.”
I had very few friends. So I use to say to my wife. "When I die, don’t bother to rent a funeral parlor because not many people will show up.” I told her to just have me cremated and flush me down the toilet. Well my wife did not honor my last wishes. From my perch above I watched as she made arrangements with the stiff collared, black suited unemotional funeral director.
“Mrs. ------. We have a variety of caskets to fit your needs” The funeral man said as he showed my wife the many caskets in his funeral parlor.
“As you can see, we have them in oak, mahogany, and metals of various types. As well as a mixture of metals and find woods.”
My poor wife was with my mother-n-law. She came with her to offer comfort and support.
“I don’t want to spend a lot of money on him.” My wife told the funeral man.
“What's your cheapest one?”
“Well Mrs. ------.” He said. “ You don’t want your husband to be consumed by the platyhelminth, and cestodes do you?”
I watched my wife display her sympathy for me as she tried to explain to Munster what she really wanted for me.
“The only thing I’m concerned about is getting back to work before my lunch hour is over. I think this one will do just find.” She pointed towards a cheap, wood casket.
My mother-n-law quickly chimed in.
“Are you sure you want to spend that much dear? You should give this some thought.”
“My mind is made up and I want Frank buried in the pine casket. He always liked pine. Many of his wood carvings were done in pine”
“I understand Mrs.--------- “But you will need to purchase the extra long model. That will cost you an additional $400.”
“Why do I need the extra long model?”
“Mrs. ---------. Your husband was quite tall and our caskets only come in standard sizes. You will need a custom fit for your loved one.”
“I don’t want a custom fit. Just bend his legs under, and stuff him in the box.”
My mother-n-law laughed. I could see she was enjoying herself.
“If that is what you wish Mrs. ------ then I will put this model aside for Frank.” Herman Munster attached a yellow sticker to my casket.
“Now if you will follow me I will show you the nice suits we have that you may rent for burial.”
Give me a break I thought. This guys running a scam. What’s he mean “rent a suit?” How can I get it back to him after I’m buried?
“No we don’t need a suit. I am going to bury Frank in his jeans and tee shirt. Just the way I remembered him. And that‘s what he would have wanted.”
“Ya dear.” You tell him I thought. “The platyhelminth and cestodes are gonna eat me anyways.”
And that’s how the dream ended cause I woke up.
Anybody else ever dream of their own demise?
That’s when I noticed I was floating above the truck. At first, I wasn't aware that I was looking at my body. I thought the body I was starring down at was that of another person. Then I noticed the body’s face, and the broken, twisted, mess of a body lying beneath the truck. That heap of messy flesh had my face on it.
Then I noticed the clothes that were on that broken, mangled body. The twisted body below me was wearing the same shirt and pants that I had dressed myself in that morning. That was the moment I realized that something strange had happened to me. I remember asking myself. If that is my body down there, then how can I be up here? “Oh my God.” I thought. “Am I dead?”
At that moment of recognition I began to see images of what had happened. It all came back to me as I starred down at the scene below. I watched strangers as they stood over my mangled body. Some were trying to help me.
One guy in a business suit asked. “Hey mister? You okay?”
“Damn Joe, I think he’s dead.” His friend told him.
“Oh man. Look how flat his chest is.” A young nerd remarked. “And his legs are all bent and busted.”
What happened was coming back to me. It was like I was watching a movie in replay mode. I saw me crossing the street on my way to the donut shop, when suddenly…I never saw the UPS truck coming as I stepped into the road. Apparently the driver never saw me either. The next thing I knew I was above myself looking down at my body.
”Should we call a Doctor?” The young nerd asked as he sipped a Late.
“Naw. This guys DOA man, history, done, el-deado. Call the Hearst.” The nerd’s friend answered.
By now a crowd of people had gathered over my corpse. Some of them were crying, some were screaming, and a few laughed.
“Man. How dumb can ya be. Just walked out in front of a UPS truck.” The nerd said, again sipping his Latte.
After a few more minutes I watched as an ambulance pulled up to the scene. Two paramedics ran over to my body and started to examine me.
“No pulse Tom.” One of them said.
“His heart has stopped Mike.” The other remarked. “Let’s bag this one. It’s too late for him.” He said as he looked at his watch. “And it’s almost break time.”
By now, from my spot above my body I realized that a very interesting thing was occurring. Just by thinking a thought of a place, I could transmit myself to that place. I remember thinking of my poor wife at work while all this was happening. As I thought about her I was then transported to where she worked and I watched her at her desk as I hovered over her. Then I thought about the accident scene and I was then transported back there again. After a while I went to the neighborhood where I grew up. And then I thought about Arizona where I had been stationed in the Air Force and I was immediately transported there. I found myself enjoying these trips and I told myself how neat it was to travel like this. After a while I thought about my poor wife again, and there I was hovering over her desk when her phone rang.
“Mrs. ---------?”
“Yes.”
“This is the hospital. Ugh! And I hate to inform you…but your husband is dead. He was run over by a UPS truck.”
“You gotta be kidding me”? My poor wife answered.
“No Mrs. ----- I’m not kidding. What do you want us to do with his body?”
“Well are you sure it’s my husband?”
“I can describe him to you if you’d like?”
“Please. I wanna make sure he‘s dead.”
I had very few friends. So I use to say to my wife. "When I die, don’t bother to rent a funeral parlor because not many people will show up.” I told her to just have me cremated and flush me down the toilet. Well my wife did not honor my last wishes. From my perch above I watched as she made arrangements with the stiff collared, black suited unemotional funeral director.
“Mrs. ------. We have a variety of caskets to fit your needs” The funeral man said as he showed my wife the many caskets in his funeral parlor.
“As you can see, we have them in oak, mahogany, and metals of various types. As well as a mixture of metals and find woods.”
My poor wife was with my mother-n-law. She came with her to offer comfort and support.
“I don’t want to spend a lot of money on him.” My wife told the funeral man.
“What's your cheapest one?”
“Well Mrs. ------.” He said. “ You don’t want your husband to be consumed by the platyhelminth, and cestodes do you?”
I watched my wife display her sympathy for me as she tried to explain to Munster what she really wanted for me.
“The only thing I’m concerned about is getting back to work before my lunch hour is over. I think this one will do just find.” She pointed towards a cheap, wood casket.
My mother-n-law quickly chimed in.
“Are you sure you want to spend that much dear? You should give this some thought.”
“My mind is made up and I want Frank buried in the pine casket. He always liked pine. Many of his wood carvings were done in pine”
“I understand Mrs.--------- “But you will need to purchase the extra long model. That will cost you an additional $400.”
“Why do I need the extra long model?”
“Mrs. ---------. Your husband was quite tall and our caskets only come in standard sizes. You will need a custom fit for your loved one.”
“I don’t want a custom fit. Just bend his legs under, and stuff him in the box.”
My mother-n-law laughed. I could see she was enjoying herself.
“If that is what you wish Mrs. ------ then I will put this model aside for Frank.” Herman Munster attached a yellow sticker to my casket.
“Now if you will follow me I will show you the nice suits we have that you may rent for burial.”
Give me a break I thought. This guys running a scam. What’s he mean “rent a suit?” How can I get it back to him after I’m buried?
“No we don’t need a suit. I am going to bury Frank in his jeans and tee shirt. Just the way I remembered him. And that‘s what he would have wanted.”
“Ya dear.” You tell him I thought. “The platyhelminth and cestodes are gonna eat me anyways.”
And that’s how the dream ended cause I woke up.
Anybody else ever dream of their own demise?
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