Groaners

hmhaines · Oct 18, 2016

We've got a thread like this on my favorite cigar forum. Share your groaners here!

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An Investigator.

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The key to a good mailman joke is the delivery

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The key to a good clock joke is the timing

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The key to a good lock joke is the key

ashdigger · Oct 18, 2016

why shouldn't you make fun of a paleontologist? Because you'll get Jurasskicked
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If you adjust your posture ...... do you stand corrected?

cosmicfolklore · Oct 18, 2016

There's an active cigar forum?

agnosticpipe · Oct 18, 2016

Definition of the word "horrible" - capable of becoming a whore.

cosmicfolklore · Oct 18, 2016

The mountains are not only funny, but they are hill areas.

aldecaker · Oct 18, 2016

My girlfriend had a lazy eye. She was always seeing someone on the side.

cosmicfolklore · Oct 18, 2016

When my buddy, William, joined the army he quickly learned to dislike the phrase, "fire at will."

cosmicfolklore · Oct 18, 2016

My bike doesn't stand on its own, because it's two-tired.

huntertrw · Oct 18, 2016

How do you make antifreeze?
Hide her nightgown.

huntertrw · Oct 18, 2016

Why is a cat's tail like a long journey?
Because it's fur to the end.

stickframer · Oct 18, 2016

What do you call a cow who is always eating grass from the neighbours side of the fence?
A mooocher.

huntertrw · Oct 18, 2016

Is assimilation the act of setting one's own posterior on fire?

pagan · Oct 18, 2016

Corny :rofl:

jvnshr · Oct 18, 2016

Heard this one in Two and a Half Men:
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters, where do girls with only one leg work at? Ihop.

orobusto · Oct 18, 2016

I didn't like her apartment, so I knocked her flat.
I got a weak back. I got it about a week back.

cosmicfolklore · Oct 18, 2016

A buddy of mine was hit by a piece of falling glass that cut off his entire left side. He's alright now.

agnosticpipe · Oct 18, 2016

Definition of pathology - the science of backpacking.
A bagpipe is a loose container in which pipes are kept.

hmhaines · Oct 18, 2016

So I says to my one legged wife, "Peg," I says, "you oughta cut the other one off and go on the bum."

Utah Phillips had plenty of these painfully silly one liners...
You guys are doing great, keep 'em coming!

darthcider · Oct 18, 2016

What do you call a one eyed dinosaur?

A doyouthinkhesaurus.
And the name of his dog? Doyouthinkhesaurus rex

prairiedruid · Oct 18, 2016

What do you call a cow that had an abortion?
Decalfinated

Groaners

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