An Apology

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blueeyedogre

Lifer
Oct 17, 2013
1,552
30
I wanted to apologize for my part in the discussion yesterday on private member information. I over reacted to a subject that is very sensitive topic to me. A few years ago I ended up in a visitation battle for time to see my little girl. Her mother took information, information about my from the internet (facebook,other forums, etc) I never even gave a second thought to, and her and her lawyer painted me in the worst possible light by twisting the information anyway they could. That act changed me and how I see information about myself on the internet. I became more guarded and more fearful and in turn more hostile in regarding to my personal information.
I enjoy this forum and I have "met" some really great people. People with the same interest and passion that I share as well. I would like to continue being a member of this forum and will try not to drag personal insecurities and knee jerk reactions into here again.
I want to apologize especially to rmbittner. My reaction yesterday was over reactive and under thought out and my criticism of you was unwarranted.

 

tobyducote

Lifer
Jun 10, 2012
1,204
3
New Orleans
Blue, it takes a big man to do what you did with your apology...I read the thread...I appreciate your apology and I'm glad to have a member like you with the integrity to recognize when he may have crossed a line and to apologize in the manner which you have done...

 

roadqueen

Starting to Get Obsessed
Apr 9, 2013
267
4
You've earned a big dose of respect from me, blue. I was perplexed at your initial reaction, but I can understand how your previous treatment would leave you gun shy.
Major kudos for being not only a man, but a supreme gentleman that our hobby is renowned for and admitting when you've gone overboard, and calmly explaining your position.
Happy Piping! :puffy:

 

numbersix

Lifer
Jul 27, 2012
5,449
53
This is a good place to be and as such we get invested in the conversations and people, sometimes we can get carried away - but I don't think you have anything to really apologize for in all honesty. I've seen much bigger blowups than anything that occurred in that thread.
But nice of you to speak up - alls good in my book.

 

judcole

Lifer
Sep 14, 2011
7,187
33,584
Detroit
Sorry you had such a bad experience. Good on you for apologizing. Owning up to one's mistakes is a sign of being an adult. :puffpipe:

 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,459
Nothing will destroy your faith in the judicial system like being a witness in a court case, even

if you are not on trial, per se. I was a witness in an action heard by an administrative law judge,

nothing too threatening to me personally, although it was connected to my work place and had

bad results for me there. The lawyer pleading the case was, by professional standards, very good.

By the time he was done, I was waiting for him to "prove" I had assassinated President Lincoln.

This one experience made me reconsider and support many of the innocence panels reconsidering

capital convictions. Now I can easily believe that anyone can be railroaded anywhere. As Dickens

had one of his characters say in the novel "Bleak House," "the law is an ass." The legal system

in the U.S. is probably as fair any (some European systems may be more enlightened in spirit

if not the letter). But I'm not sure how much truth, however defined, has to do with it. It's social

truth as constructed by groups ... that is, a committee job ... and you know what that means.

 

rmbittner

Lifer
Dec 12, 2012
2,759
1,995
blueeyedogre:
No apology necessary for me. But I very much appreciate it. And I especially appreciate your willingness to share the backstory behind your reaction.
That thread went so far beyond what I'd intended that I also sent an apology to Kevin for even starting it! ;)
My intention was to provide a tip that I thought might enhance our community. This note from you is doing exactly that as well.
Take care,
Bob

 

taerin

Lifer
May 22, 2012
1,851
1
I can see why you would get upset, I think the best way to deal with it is to limit your risk and know that any information can be found if someone looks hard enough. I am careful not to put much information about myself online, in ways that can be easily searched. I Google myself occasionally to make sure I know what is out there and do not put anything that could be considered negative on social media such as Facebook, even though I smoke pipes and make my own beer, you will never see a picture or mention of any of those online other than on these forums, which would be incredibly hard to locate and link to my real name. It seems overly cautious, but I am concerned that in the future the healthcare industry will be something we have to hide from to keep our rates affordable. I just double-checked myself to make sure info such as my last name isn't on this site, open for everyone to see. On Facebook I only accept as friends people I know in person and only put out what I want future employers to see.

 

swampmouth

Starting to Get Obsessed
Oct 4, 2013
123
0
Having had similar circumstances, I would say no sweat. It's been 5 1/2 years since I've seen my kids. It's like a thorn in your ass that effects everything you say and do. I don't care as much about internet privacy(maybe I should). In real life I'm hiding like a scared rabbit. There's human garbage out there that would still like to see me strung up. It takes ALOT of time. I had to remember to discern who my real enemies were. For one I hope I have no enemies here. This is sort of a sanctuary and a distraction as well. Thanks people. Hope things work out blueeye. I've lost my optimism, sorry to say.

 

smokeybear

Lifer
Dec 21, 2012
2,202
25
Brampton,Ontario,Canada
As for the Apology Blue although i was in that discussion i may have missed the reason for your apology i know your a stand up guy from our interactions on this forum.
But as for your situation have you explored the term Deformation, its a law term basically means using or spreading false information about an individual and this act is indeed illegal. i would think its worth exploring this further with your own lawyer. Also Pain and Suffering plays a part because this has affected your relationship with your daughter and in Canada i know you can claim up to $500,000 in P&S alone. You may not get the full 500 but at least 100-200,000$ if a lawyer plays the cards right.
If you do win this case then the custody battle will need to be revisited at which point you and your ex can make better arrangements in terms of visitations. Also you can put aside the money for her future. Im not a lawyer but i think its worth exploring, unless you feel this would put to much stress on your little girl.
Sorry if i over stepped my boundaries friend just trying to be helpful. Good luck.

 

woodsroad

Lifer
Oct 10, 2013
11,798
16,178
SE PA USA
Deflagration would be more entertaining, though.
I've sent some really bad mistakes from the iPhone. Exceedingly embarrassing mistakes. HINT: One of my clients is The City University of New York, or CUNY.
Yes, I did. In the caption field of 185 photographs.

 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,459
Law is like a mountain; whether you choose to climb it or not, it will still be there. One more

quote from Dickens' in Bleak House on lawyers: "Lawyers keep trouble, so trouble will keep them."

That said, both my grandfathers had law degrees, and one was in practice for his whole working life.

The other managed family properties and used his degree that way. So I have mixed feelings.

When I was an enlisted guy in the Navy, having one degree and trying to decide how to use GI Bill,

I seriously considered law school, and gradually decided that wasn't how I would spend my life.

Too establishmentarian for me.

 

plateauguy

Lifer
Mar 19, 2013
2,412
21
I don't think you have anything to really apologize for in all honesty
+1 Six
I didn't appreciate the original post either, but it did serve an educational purpose. Sorry for your past problems (at least I hope they're past).

 

blueeyedogre

Lifer
Oct 17, 2013
1,552
30
Defamation
Suing her could easily make me some money, if money was my goal. Its not. My daughter and having a life and relationship with her is. Many probably do not know this, hopefully many never have to find it out, but in the Canadian Judaical System Family Law is the only court that is not required to follow judicial precedents, it has no guidelines it has to follow. In Family Law the judge sitting on the bench is the one who makes any kind of decision they chose. If you make $30000 a year and the judge decides you should make more he can set your support at $40000 or $50000 if they see fit. You work weekends? The judge can decide visitation is Saturdays is best and its your problem to make it work. You are a responsible member of a competitive shooting organization and the judge can decide you are a wackjob requiring supervised visitation for an unlimited amount of time. Family Law in Canada has no limit to what their powers are regarding you and your child and your case come completely down to three things...... The mood of the Judge, their impression of you, and if you spent more on your lawyer then the other person did. A decision passed down by Family Court must go through the Appeals Court to be changed in any way and I can tell you first hand.... Judges do not like overturning other Judges.

My daughter's mother took 2 pictures of myself and my then girlfriend and put them on a CD. She then took that CD and went to the police and claim to witness my girlfriend leaving it in her mailbox. Even thought the Police knew she was lying and stated so but could not prove it, it was still brought up in court and the finding of the police were asked. I not longer belong to Facebook or any social media site of any kind that tracks my day to day activities.

I am happy to say that after 8 yrs of court battles, tens of thousands of dollars, and more headaches that anyone could imagine I now have access to my beautiful daughter and love ever minute spent with her. I am sorry to say that until she is 18 and free to make her own choices I will forever be in full defense mood to the tricks of her mother and the workings of the Family Judaical System.

While I know I overreacted to things yesterday and do sincerely apologize for my behavior I hope you can somewhat understand why I reacted the way I did.

 
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