Why I'm So Depressed

[admin]

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel , "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."
Nearly 75 years ago,(when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."
Today, Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!
I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc . . . I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck ...

 

[duncan]

LOL, and was thinking this was on a serious note. Well at least Tobacco is still legal. For how long who knows but it is for now!

 

[ernest]

Hey kevin,I think we can help you out of this but first -can you tell us exactly what your smoking in your pipe?

 

[ernest]

Then again kevin,don't take my advise.I met a guy two years ago that tried to hang himself but survived because the rope stretched,so I told him he should use piano wire next time.I'm always one for helping others get there goals accomplished.

 

[duncan]

HAHAHA, when I was in the Navy for to many years we had some kid say he was going to kill himself after getting a DUI. They made the big mistake of putting me on the suicide watch. I was very cranky that day and tossed him a rope and said lets go I was going to show him the perfect place. Well we all found out he was bluffing after I was tearing him from one side down the other for 30 minutes for not doing what he said he was. I got talked to and he got shit canned. I did have to go to a month of anger managment and how to be nice cousling after that but was well worth it.

 

[ernest]

I'm the type if someone said there going to jump,I'll tell them to hurry so I can make it home in time for star trek.

 

[ernest]

And if you douse yourself in gasoline,I'll throw you my zippo,all I ask is that you kick it back to me before it melts.

 

[ernest]

Hey duncan,we should become friends and organize this to sell tickets or make the entrance fee a pipe. 50/50

 

[strongirish]

LOL, I shot tea through my nose laughing so hard! Good one!

 

[admin]

I was considering going to anger management, but just the thought of it pisses me off.

 

[admin]

And btw, in real life I am super happy.
I must be one of the luckiest bastards alive.
I have everything I need and 95% of what I want, but the unfulfilled wants are quite frivolous, so not that important.
That aside, I do snap about 5 times a day if I am watching the news and paying attention to what is going on in the world.
That why I choose to live in my own little fantasy world half the time. It's much more enjoyable.

 

[hobie1dog]

Good one Kevin

 

[duncan]

Hell yeah, we can do it all on payperview and make a killin. I know there are a ton of bastards in jail that need a fair and painfull punishment. First we need a good location hmmmmm....

 

[collindow]

I have a good front yard! We could build a little gallows...it'd be great!

On a more serious note; all the entitlement bull of late always just gets me so far down that I try not to think about it. Luckily, November is here! And my pipes are always around the cheer me up.

Cheers.

 

[duncan]

Does your front lawn have enough room to quarter a man. If so we will need 4 horses next

 

[igloo]

"He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark moustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother." And then he reached for his pipe and shot him the bird .

 

[collindow]

Damn, it isn't that big. Maybe the neighbors'll loan their yards too.

That's 1984, right igloo? It's been years since I've read any of the totalitarian future novels...that's something I need to do soon. Jeez.

Cheers

Collin

 

[igloo]

You are correct sir .

 

[ernest]

Are you still with us today kevin??

 

[ernest]

kevin-but look on the bright side,think about all the virgins and bottles of wine waiting for you.See,there is a silver lining surrounding that cloud.