Right now? Freaking security camera. Wind is blowing as winds do. And trees are swaying as trees do. My fucking security camera's too stupid to distinguish between tree and a human, and beeping every other second!
Reject modernity, get a wolfhound. Additionally, ask Chasing Embers for one of his pipes and attach one of these "rim covers". Clenching might get a wee bit harder but that rim will crack the will of any intruder.