Ruminations on a Forty Dollar Pipe

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Briar Lee

Lifer
Sep 4, 2021
5,645
15,924
Humansville Missouri
I’m trying to learn to play David’s twenty eight dollar grade Martin HD28 a little better, that David gave me when he joined the Mennonites in search of the love of a Mennonite maiden who lived with her family near Fortuna, who milked her father’s cows.

When we played the nursing homes, one of our most requested songs was the Ballad of Forty Dollars, written by Tom T. Hall in 1968 and made famous by Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash.



ben home pictures 045 Copy.jpeg

My mother sitting there in the crowd was so proud of me I thought she’d nearly bust but David’s mother would just sit there and sometimes she’d act like she was playing her piano, and we didn’t think she always recognized David.

When our mothers and those crowds were young forty dollars was two double eagles, two troy ounces of fine gold, and about the most anything sold for in the Sears or Montgomery Wards catalog.

David died, of a sudden onset of liver cancer, although he never drank a drop that me or anyone else ever saw him. I took my youngest son to David’s funeral, where I was pall bearer, and I had my son console the Mennonite girl, him telling her just what a wonderful man her David was.

And at David’s funeral near Fortuna that Mennonite choir performed better a cappella than anything David and me could imagine!

So I paused my practice on David’s Martin HD28, and searched for pipes on eBay over $39 and under $41.

And while I’ve never heard of a Bertram pipe my best pocket knife I’ve carried for maybe thirty years is a little Bertram, so I just splurged $39.95 on an old dented pipe I know nothing about.

Except I love the grain pattern on it.

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I suppose I paid too much for my whistle, as my mother used to say.:)

But I’m sure my friends here can help me decipher all the marks on my $40 Bertram.

It’s only forty dollars, anyway.

But it’s worth it when I perform alone now for the nursing homes to own a good forty dollar pipe.
 
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Briar Lee

Lifer
Sep 4, 2021
5,645
15,924
Humansville Missouri
You have a fine piece of history there.



I’ve wanted to add a nice Bertram pipe to my collection, but haven’t found the right one yet. Those dimples look intentional.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for that wealth of information on Bertram pipes!

I’m sitting here practicing David’s very favorite Tom T. Hall song, The Homecoming.

David always looked straight at me and sang

If you didn’t know me better Dad, you’d think that Van just got me out of jail.:)

The crowd would sometimes all rise up from their wheelchairs that could, and cheer and clap, and Mama would look at me and say to her friends

That’s my Vanny!

Bruce and I raised him!


After the performance in her room my Mama would hug me so hard I’d near pop, and she said you raised up that Baptist boy David to sing The Homecoming better than I’ve ever heard you do it! And I’d say who taught me, Mama?


But why would such a nice Bertram intentionally be dented?

Was somebody trying to put on a front with a cheap Betram?
 
Last edited:
Dec 3, 2021
5,857
51,872
Pennsylvania & New York
Thank you, thank you, thank you for that wealth of information on Bertram pipes!

I’m sitting here practicing David’s very favorite Tom T. Hall song, The Homecoming.

David always looked straight at me and sang

If you didn’t know me better Dad, you’d think that Van just got me out of jail.:)

The crowd would sometimes all rise up from their wheelchairs that could, and cheer and clap, and Mama would look at me and say to her friends

That’s my Vanny!

Bruce and I raised him!


After the performance in her room my Mama would hug me so hard I’d near pop, and she said you raised up that Baptist boy David to sing The Homecoming better than I’ve ever heard you do it! And I’d say who taught me, Mama?


But why would such a nice Bertram intentionally be dented?

Was somebody trying to put on a front with a cheap Betram?

I don’t think it’s dented. I believe those dimples were carved for visual interest, much like the channels on one of @JimInks ’s “William Conrad owned” pipes.
 

Briar Lee

Lifer
Sep 4, 2021
5,645
15,924
Humansville Missouri
I don’t think it’s dented. I believe those dimples were carved for visual interest, much like the channels on one of @JimInks ’s “William Conrad owned” pipes.

I’d think the folks who sold FDR his cigarrete holder wouldn’t dent up a nice pipe for visual interest.

It looks to me like a dent, and on both sides.

When David and I performed I always sang Ravishing Ruby, a Tom T Hall song about a dented waitress.

David was an incredible side man and hit each and every guitar note on Ravishing Ruby, on time and just perfect. Try as I might I can only chord a guitar.


Sometimes a beautful object’s flaws are invisible but my Bertam has lots of dents.
 
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towhee89

Can't Leave
Sep 28, 2021
336
1,328
Morganton, North Carolina
a
I have two Bertram estate pipes and both were excellent smokers. Unfortunately, both are in need of new stems and one has a spiral crack in its shank.

If you know of a reliable source for new stems, and a repairman who might be able to fix the spiral crack, please let me know, as I would love to put these two gems back into service.
Briarville
 
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Briar Lee

Lifer
Sep 4, 2021
5,645
15,924
Humansville Missouri
My wife felt well enough to get up and out of her chair to go to LOZ and the first stop I made was at Stonecrest Book and Toy store, while she got us both Starbucks.

I bought myself another Pearl Harbor book and her three of the kind she likes.

While I’m waiting on her to buy groceries I found the Bertram knife I carried when I sang with David.

It was a costly little trinket but I liked the Arrowhead on it.

I wonder if Bertram knives had any link to Bertram pipes?

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When I see an arrowhead the first song that comes to mind is Pretty Red Wing, which David and me always were sure to perform at the nursing homes.

Those old folks would rise out of their wheelchairs to dance at Bob Wills tunes.:)

 
Last edited:

towhee89

Can't Leave
Sep 28, 2021
336
1,328
Morganton, North Carolina
That Spade on that knife is really cool
My wife felt well enough to get up and out of her chair to go to LOZ and the first stop I made was at Stonecrest Book and Toy store, while she got us both Starbucks.

I bought myself another Pearl Harbor book and her three of the kind she likes.

While I’m waiting on her to buy groceries I found the Bertram knife I carried when I sang with David.

It was a costly little trinket but I liked the Arrowhead on it.

I wonder if Bertram knives had any link to Bertram pipes?

View attachment 375967View attachment 375968View attachment 375969

When I see an arrowhead the first song that comes to mind is Pretty Red Wing, which David and me always were sure to perform at the nursing homes.

Those old folks would rise out of their wheelchairs to dance at Bob Wills tunes.:)

I wonder if the Bertram family was from Germany
 
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Reactions: Briar Lee

towhee89

Can't Leave
Sep 28, 2021
336
1,328
Morganton, North Carolina
I got this one a number of years ago. Smokes great. I did make a quick new stem for it about a year ago as I converted it to 6mm and wanted a better airway. The old stem was also a really low quality vulcanite.

View attachment 376035
View attachment 376036
50, must have been a $5 pipe at the time. Very cool. I've been looking for a rusticated one but it seems like they are a little bit harder to find than the smooth.