I would think that tobacco burns at one temperature. What heats up the smoke is the rate of the burn, or how much and how fast tobacco is burning. Whe more oxygen is drawn through the tobacco it increases the burn rate, not its temperature. The heat transferred to the bowl can't dissipate quickly enough not to be noticeable, and the bowl gets hot. Having slowed your cadence you are already doing the best thing you can do to smoke cool. You have entered the halls of the pipe adept with just that one accomplishment. You can smoke and taste more and aren't nagged by a sore mouth.
I don't think packing per se can affect temperature as, again, you would think that tobacco reaches a standard temperature during the combustion. The deeper the draw the more oxygen travels over the burning tobacco, and of course this does increase the burn rate; the smoke will contain more heat, but it strikes me that my mouth is tolerant of heat up to a point; once I cross that point, there is pain, and if I continue to smoke there is increased injury, and at this point not the pipe but my mouth needs to be rested, 2-3 hours works but 6 is better.
So, to answer your question directly, the trick with packing is to reach that happy medium between over and under-packing. Packing too tightly will definitely cause you a lot of relights as the tightness impedes the flow of air through the bowl, and the coal struggles and then dies for lack of oxygen for the burn. Another axiom is that whatever packing method you use, the bottom of the chamber should be only loosely packed while the top is tighter. What you want is a pack that readily burns while you control the rate of combustion by a slow cadence.