No, no, no. You're doin' this all wrong! When the Mrs. gives you an opening like that, blast right on thru it!
Castello Sea Rock Billiard, $319
... and when she balks, put on your saddest bloodhound pout and play the "Birthdays only come once a year," and "Ain't I worth it?" cards.
Besides, this pipe will last
forever. Then tell her that SmokingPipes is offering free shipping, and (probably) no sales tax for you.
So look how much your saving! Tell her this one will hold you over until next year, at which time she can get you a cob. :rofl: