Since everyone makes a ritual and "procedure" out of the silliest things, lets set one up for University flake. First light some incense, or Frog Morton barrel staves. After that wrap leather thongs over your forearms. The thongs should hold little boxes with messages. The first box should say say "a woman is only a woman, but University flake is a smoke." On the other arm the box should have the message "screw Bloomberg." If the first box is not on the left forearm, and the second box on the right forearm, the ritual is useless. Then turn over the can on the floor. After invoking the God of Nicotine, summon a herd of reindeer. Invoke the spirits by moving your hands, palms out, in a circular motion several times, starting with the thumbs together. This has to be done facing the flake. Then do the same facing the reindeer. This will confuse them and cause them to trample the flake. Whilst they do this shout "oooyah" three times. Cheerleaders with pom poms should jump up and down in the background. Then, and only then will it be fit to smoke. Discard any reindeer poop first.
Or, you could just stuff the flake in your pipe and smoke it.
