Parents

[jerome]

So anyways my parents found out that I have been smoking a pipe. They asked me why and that I shouldn't start such a bad habit even though they are cigarette smokers. I told them it wasn't as addicting as cigarettes and that it is more of a stress reliever and a hobby. I don't know how to handle this...I am kinda embarrassed and feel I disappointed them for some reason. I told them I won't do it just to end the conversation, but I know tomorrow there will be more...any advice? Thanks!

-Justin

 

[ohin3]

How old are you?

 

[winton]

Good question Ohin3. But I am facing the same issue at 46. My Mom does not know I smoke a pipe, and was furious when she found out my brother occasionally smokes a cigar. Since I know there will be two pipes under the tree when we visit for Christmas, I expect she will find out.
Jerome's sitiuation is different, assuming he is legal. They have tactically stated that smoking is acceptable, and he has choosen a method that tastes better, is more healthy, is cheaper, is less addictive, more relaxing and definiely is cooler! It gives a man a chance to sit still and contemplate life, rather than just a jolt of nic.
Winton

 

[hobie1dog]

I don't see how anyone who smokes/inhales the 499 chemicals in cigarettes (hydrogen Cyanide, Formaldehyde, Ammonia, etc) can say anything about pipe smoking to which there is no inhalation into the lungs. :crazy:

 

[mattmars]

His parents know that smoking pipes is a one way ticket to an empty wallet! I kid, I kid. It's probably an instance of a parent concerned about the health of their child. Do as I say, not as I do.

 

[radio807]

I can't offer you any advice specific to your personal situation because I don't know you, your parents, or anything about the type of relationship you have with them. However, as a parent of three grown children and one teenager I would like to offer a few things for you to think about. First, the fact that they're cigarette smokers is beside the point. Their concern about the health issues associated with smoking is most likely not hypocritical, but instead is probably based in their genuine concern for you. They're addicted to a particularly harmful form of tobacco use and don't want you to follow in their footsteps. Try to keep that in mind.
Second, try to avoid getting into a discussion with your parents (or anyone for that matter) about the relative benefits or risks associated with the various forms of tobacco use; you won't win that one. Despite what anyone may tell you, and with all due respect to others who may hold a contrary opinion, pipe smoking is not healthier than cigarette smoking...it's only less harmful in certain ways than other forms of tobacco use. Every form of tobacco use holds its own set of health risks, so don’t kid yourself. As adults we understand that, and then we make our personal choices accordingly.
Third and finally, keep in mind that you and your parents are probably going through a difficult, though necessary transition in your lives. As you enter adulthood you have to establish a healthy independence from your parents. You will not, and cannot live your life so as to please them in everything you do. You should always want to please them, but get over the fact that you may not always be able to do so if you’re going to live your own life. In turn, your parents have to learn that you’re not their little kid anymore and that they no longer hold absolute authority over all that you do. It’s a tough transition for all of you. This issue is probably less about tobacco use than it is about how to begin relating to one another as adults instead of through the adult-child relationship. Again, this is probably as tough for them as it is for you. Just go there slowly and respectfully.
BTW, if you’re 18 years old, my best to you, it’ll work out fine. If you’re 40 years old, you’ve got some real issues going on there. If you're under 18, then listen to your parents!!!

 

[tobakenist]

I started at a very youg age, my parents just thought that I would grow out of it, how wrong they were.

 

[yuri66]

Again your age makes a bit of difference in what your parent have or have not the right to say. (My Mom always reminds me that no matter how old I get she still has the right to say what she wants, keep that in mind too) But I agree with Radio's advice.

You will have to weigh the situation for yourself, and again you are a person becomming of age and need to make up your mind on what's important. It is very seldom one dissapoints their parents in reality, most of the time they do not approve of your actions becasue of concern for you, not dissapointment.

Good Luck

Yuri

 

[nsfisher]

age is the key here. if ur responsible for ur own actions then its up to u to decide. but then again there r extenuating factors, ie; my daughter is 21 now but when she was 6 she had luekemia!. all better now but suseptible to secondary cancers. so if she were to take up smoking of any sort, she would develop lung cancer or mouth cancer at a much rapid rate than someone else. Are there any other factors in play here??

 

[smokin10smitty]

Remind them that you're not doing drugs, stealing, getting arrested and so on. Also show them the facts of smoking a pipe. My pops who has been smoking virtually his whole life was happy when I told him I'd only ever smoke cigars (a few years back) and now I think he's secretly overjoyed I've decided to focus on pipes.

 

[philip]

listen to your parents!

Listen to your radio!

 

[withnail]

Try and take it as a positive that they care enough about you to want the best for you and your health. I would say it is better to be honest with them rather than say you are going to stop if you have no intention of doing that. As long as you are of legal age to smoke, ask that they respect your decision and thank them for wanting to look out for you.
If they keep on about it, would you consider agreeing to stop smoking if they do the same? I know we on the forum don't like to mention it, but the fact is that tobacco consumption does have associated risks, no matter how you use it.

 

[jerome]

I am 21...guess I should have added that.

 

[jerome]

Thanks for all the advice! I will let you guys know how it goes!

 

[withnail]

At 21 you are your own boss - but if you live in your parents house, they do always have the right to set the rules. I hope it works out well and it was just the shock of discovery that caused them to be so worried.

 

[bigvan]

Withnail is right... their house, their rules.
But on the PLUS side, it's just another reason to get your own place.

 

[spartan]

Your parents will treat you differently as soon as you start paying your own bills. It's freeing at first. Until you realize how good you had it back at home. lol

 

[mano]

Their house, their rules regardless of your age. BUT if you're over 18 you have a chance to impress them by listening to their side of things, acknowledging what is true and makes sense and presenting your side.
Asking them to join you in a smoke may convert them. Until my son was 18 he busted my chops unmercifully about my smoking cigars. At times he crossed the line and had to be reminded I was his parent and made my own decisions.
One day while cooking a pork butt on the smoker he joined me and my daughter's boyfriend and tried a mild cigar. He was 18 and a convert.
Now he's into pipes, which is why I'm here, learning what to get him and figuring out what to buy for myself.

 

[judcole]

Well said, Radio.

 

[cyndi]

I converted my parents to acceptance by laying down the facts then packing a pipe for my mom to try. We have a genetic illness that causes extreme pain and I was telling her that smoking gives me 20 mins to an hour of pain relief. She wanted to see if I was kidding, so I gave her a puff. She felt the effects right away. Since then she has done research on nicotine as a pain reliever and found that it does work in a clinical setting but there is no money to market it. My Dad hates the smell of smoke though, so she started chewing nicotine gum.
If your parents smoke cigarettes, they must be receiving some benefit that makes them not want to stop. An addiction can't overwhelm willpower. Whether its stress reduction, pain relieving, weight gain concerns - there's a reason they are continuing with the habit. You, as an adult, can make an informed decision about your body the same as they can. Period.