For those who don’t know I am 56 and initially started the pipe in hopes to better connect with my father. He smoked for 50 years (20-70). He is now 90 and has not smoked in 20 years. He quit when my mom became ill. Both because he needed to stay inside for her and because his sons worried for his health.
I visited my father from Friday past thru this past Thursday. We talk on the phone but have not been face to face for 3 years. My hopes were I would surprise him with a pipe and tobacco and we would go outside and smoke, talk tobacco, and he would open up with more life details than the normal chat.
The bad news is he almost died 5 years ago from a fall hitting his head and bleeding and pressure in his cranium. He made it through intact except his smell. He has no smell whatsoever. So he could not enjoy the tobacco smells in the jar.
He loved the new pipe (since I secretly had ask him his opinion as if it were for me) and also added a MM Washington. A tamper and 2 pouches of his old flavor Borkum Riff Whiskey along with a pouch of Velvet and Half&Half that I never opened and some samples of others because the reviews for BRW were not good and they might have changed it in past 20 years.
My brother whom has been taking care of him (he is fully self sufficient but lives with my brother) was concerned about nicotine and had read it could cause small capillaries in the brain to rupture in the elderly. So my dad decided not to smoke (yet). I say yet because when alone with me he indicated when outside with his chickens he probably will load the pipe and char it for flavor but not smoke it all. I suggested to load half a bowl and do small amounts just for flavor and let it go out. He calls it a passy (pacifier) as he did this for 2-3 years when he was quitting. Just hanging in his mouth not lit. I told him the nicotine is very low compared to cigarettes which most medical studies are based but it’s his decision.
The good news is even though he did not smoke with me the gift and subject and conversation about it opened him up. It was the best week I have had with him. He opened up about his childhood (good and bad), his father, mother, he shared some Korean War stories from boot camp to end of war (51-54 I think). How he met my mother, his career. We looked through his family photo album and talked through every picture (50+). His memory was amazing has he knew every person and location. From grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, cousins, neighbors. It was amazing how good his memory is at 90.
We talked about how they used to live self sufficient. His dad farmed with cows, pigs, chickens, garden, cellar, spring house, grainary, meat smoke house, outhouses, etc. They did not own the land or dwellings but he share cropped for the owners.
I told him he was a great father and I thanked him. He told me he was proud of me and got teary eyed. He may not have lit his pipe with me, but it turned out just as I had hoped.
I will visit him again in October and will be curious to see if he is using his new toy.
I visited my father from Friday past thru this past Thursday. We talk on the phone but have not been face to face for 3 years. My hopes were I would surprise him with a pipe and tobacco and we would go outside and smoke, talk tobacco, and he would open up with more life details than the normal chat.
The bad news is he almost died 5 years ago from a fall hitting his head and bleeding and pressure in his cranium. He made it through intact except his smell. He has no smell whatsoever. So he could not enjoy the tobacco smells in the jar.
He loved the new pipe (since I secretly had ask him his opinion as if it were for me) and also added a MM Washington. A tamper and 2 pouches of his old flavor Borkum Riff Whiskey along with a pouch of Velvet and Half&Half that I never opened and some samples of others because the reviews for BRW were not good and they might have changed it in past 20 years.
My brother whom has been taking care of him (he is fully self sufficient but lives with my brother) was concerned about nicotine and had read it could cause small capillaries in the brain to rupture in the elderly. So my dad decided not to smoke (yet). I say yet because when alone with me he indicated when outside with his chickens he probably will load the pipe and char it for flavor but not smoke it all. I suggested to load half a bowl and do small amounts just for flavor and let it go out. He calls it a passy (pacifier) as he did this for 2-3 years when he was quitting. Just hanging in his mouth not lit. I told him the nicotine is very low compared to cigarettes which most medical studies are based but it’s his decision.
The good news is even though he did not smoke with me the gift and subject and conversation about it opened him up. It was the best week I have had with him. He opened up about his childhood (good and bad), his father, mother, he shared some Korean War stories from boot camp to end of war (51-54 I think). How he met my mother, his career. We looked through his family photo album and talked through every picture (50+). His memory was amazing has he knew every person and location. From grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, cousins, neighbors. It was amazing how good his memory is at 90.
We talked about how they used to live self sufficient. His dad farmed with cows, pigs, chickens, garden, cellar, spring house, grainary, meat smoke house, outhouses, etc. They did not own the land or dwellings but he share cropped for the owners.
I told him he was a great father and I thanked him. He told me he was proud of me and got teary eyed. He may not have lit his pipe with me, but it turned out just as I had hoped.
I will visit him again in October and will be curious to see if he is using his new toy.
