I recommend the Frank method rather than the incremental packing. I use a lazy man's Frankie, I pretty much just loosely pour baccy into the bowl, shake it a bit so it compresses (no tamping) and repeat if needed until pretty much full or almost full of loosely packed tobacco. Then I take a pinch of baccy, maybe equal to a third or so of the baccy already in the pipe (not very scientific, I just go by feel and am guessing with that number) and fit into the bowl so it's even with the top of the bowl. It always works for me while the incremental packing, tamping, packing always go wrong.
Try to light properly, first a false light to char the top of the tobacco and then let it go out and finally a proper light, move the match (I recommend matches but lighters work) around the top of the bowl and try to get it evenly lit all over.
Regarding tamping I pretty much tamp when I feel like it or when I notice I need to (start to go out too easily). Usually when I tamp the ashes compress a few millimetres and I think that's a decent rate, you'll figure it out with experience.