Guide to E-Bay Descriptions...

[fred]

This list was compiled by the late PeterWD, who had a wit for these matters....
With all the recent threads on this I decided to have a Fun Guide to them.
Mint......................... Well it was when I put it in a Damp Shed 50 years ago.
From a Smoke & Pet Free Home................ We only used it to burn incense sticks & Aromatherapy oils in the Bowl.
Reamed & Polished.....Dug some Black Stuff out of the bowl with a Kitchen Knife

& Wiped it with an Oily Rag.
Faint Markings............I do not know how to use a Buffer.
Hand Made................ With a Disc Cutter & a Machette.
Interesting History......Previous owner had 19 Contagious Diseases, Shipped

in Sealed Container.
Rare..........................You Could Not Find One as Bad as This.
Slight Damage............ Broken in many Places.
Collectable..................Only by Mentally Derranged People.
Great Patina................Filthy.
Immaculate.................From 50 yards through the wrong end of a Telescope.
Sterilised....................Put some Drain Cleaner in the Bowl.
Look at my Feedback....I just bought it from a guy in the Pub.
Feel free to add more as you think of them...

 

[pstlpkr]

That's hysterical!

Immaculate.................From 50 yards through the wrong end of a Telescope.

I'm laughing so hard I wouldn't be able to use the telescope.

 

[ernest]

HaHaHa,nice compilation so far.Keep them coming.

 

[fred]

Vintage......................... I found it yesterday.
L@@K............................ If you don't then no one will.
A Treasure...................... I dug it up.

 

[strongirish]

How about "I don't know anything about pipes" but we see them listing them for years now= easy cop out in describing them.

 

[igloo]

rare=ten more just like it withen a week .

 

[unclearthur]

These are so true it's scary!

 

[hauntedmyst]

"minty" = the pipe is in good condition but the seller is just dying to come out of the closet and become a judy garland impersonator

 

[bubbadreier]

haha I am going to laugh every time I go look at ebay now!

 

[unclearthur]

I cleaned it up a little= 80 grit sandpaper

 

[excav8tor]

Following on from Arthur ...
I cleaned it up a lot = angle grinder
It has a few dinks on the bowl = I tried polishing it and my buffer wheel chucked it around my garage like one of those superballs.

 

[krgulick]

ROFLMAO

 

[hauntedmyst]

It has a few dinks on the bowl = I tried polishing it and my buffer wheel chucked it around my garage like one of those superballs.

lol nice!

 

[unclearthur]

Light rim char = Previous owner used a blow torch for a lighter

 

[collindow]

Smokes great! = this pipe has a strong, fruity taste so deeply embedded that you will never, ever, ever get rid of it. No matter how hard you try, or what methods you employ.
Also known as my first bent.

 

[excav8tor]

collin, have you read this article by Greg Pease about getting rid of lingering smells/tastes. The oven and charcoal tip worked for me. HERE

 

[excav8tor]

I have left the cleaning up to the buyer = I couldn't be ar**d to clean it. Besides, the carbon build up is so great that it's the only thing keeping the stummel in one piece.

 

[fred]

Lightly smoked................ Half of the bowl is burnt out, but the

other half is still good.
One of a kind................. We really took a stoning on this one.
Slight imperfections.......... The bit is chewed nearly in half and the cake

is the only thing holding the bowl together.

 

[excav8tor]

This is from an actual ebay ad that is on right now.
A Barling smoking pipe used condition marked Barling TVF 4109 London England, mouth piece is a bit worn please see the photos below. I will post abroad and combine postage, please look at the photos below:
Is that cloth I can see through the hole in the lip?????

 

[classicgeek]

That's a "speed hole". Makes the pipe 42% faster than regular, off-the-shelf pipes. The pinstriping and sponsorship decals aren't visible in this photo, but this is a heavily customized, one of a kind pipe that is far too high-performance for most smokers.
Simon