Bad Pipe Experience?

[12pups]

I'm beginning to think I'm especially blessed or something, because except for a meerschaum that arrived shattered, I've done really well getting pipes. I don't usually buy new ones. I'm getting estates with hardly any wear on them, staying under $50 for the most part. And... whether it's new woods or estate briars, I'm just loving each one I get.
So... I wondered if there were even such a thing as a bad pipe. What makes a bad pipe bad? -- I can imagine some with walls so thin you can't hold them or draws that can't be adjusted.
Have you had an experience with a purchase where you just wanted to fling the thing in a fire? What was it that made you hate it? (for educational purposes).
Thanks!

 

[12pups]

Ah... so I'm suspecting now there really *aren't* that many bad pipes. I mean, maybe a Chinese cob that was drilled so far you can see through the bottom. But there's a way to make just about any pipe work, isn't there.

 

[anglesey]

I dunno, you can just kind of tell. It's like when you have a bad pint in wetherspoons, there's nothing necessarily wrong with it, I'm sure the pipes are clean and the casks are kept at a decent temperature, but it just doesn't taste like the beer should.
If I get a bad pipe, chance as not I'll get rid of it, cause I have no need for it. I dont keep pipes for aesthetics, cause our lass thinks they're a bit ugly, and I'm not going to smoke a pipe I don't enjoy, so it goes. Of course I give them the benefit of the doubt, but after a reasonable amount of bowls, if I still dont like how they smoke I salvage the stem and chuck or burn the rest.
When I was at university I once knew a lad who smoked one of those chinese pipes as an affectation. He didnt know how to light it, so I showed him how, and never before or since have I been taken with such a compulsion to fling the horrid thing as far as I could.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I've had one... just one that had such a green aroma to the briar that it sort of made me sick feeling. It was one that buddy gave me. He said that he had gotten it and decided to stick with cigarettes. It didn't have a name on it, just stamped "imported briar," probably a bucket pipe.
I can figure out how to smoke a pipe with just about any issue. Gurgles, burns hot, or too tight a draw, are things I can adjust to, to make a good smoke of it. But, green briar seems to be too nasty an issue for me to deal with. Also, the taste of the cob is what prevents me from using CC's. I know a lot of guys like them. I may just have a sensitive palate for that corny taste, maybe from trying to smoke corn silk once as a kid, blech.

 

[captainian]

Bad pipes for me are New-Old-Stocks that smell like mold and need a good scraping and alcohol cleaning before you even try to put them in your mouth!

Also some pipes with that carbon coating inside that taste like bitter superglue when smoked, so i scrape them clean every time!

Also most of new bought petersons that have the stain in every inch of the briar and first smokes taste like shit.

Nothing really bad for me yet but who knows?

:puffpipe:

 

[northernneil]

I have had some pipes with drilling issues and some pipes that just do not get smoked. So yes I have had some bad experiences with purchased pipes. Fortunately, I have had many more successes than I have had failures.

 

[thehappypiper]

I rarely buy a pipe unhandled because I think as you progress you get a sixth sense about whether you've got a bad one. We all probably do the same checks- the first thing I do is check the stem/shank connection. This is the first dealbreaker. After that, I check the drilling at the bottom of the bowl, then wall-thickness, then weight, then lacquer. My pipe guy has a set of electronic scales so if I am in a quandarry between two pipes, it helps to weigh them. I have currently only one pipe which I consider a bad smoker and it is not really a bad smoker. It is unfortunately competing against mostly handmade pipes made of well-aged Calabrian briar, so it is relegated to a guest pipe or gift pipe if I ever meet someone who wants to start the hobby. I have 3 Don Florians, two of which I ordered online. One of these has a stem which is too loose. I really need to send it away to a professional to get another one made. It is also ludicrously large. Much as I regret it, it would be better if the top half inch was sawn off, losing the plateau. But it is perfeclty smokable- I'm just getting very perfectionistic. One Florian fan I have has a hotspot which has darkened the wood slightly. Feeling with my finger, there is no degradation of the bowl wall at that point and it is reducing as the cake builds up. It also tastes wonderful and smokes very nicely. I think we decided what we can live with, how much we want to spend. There are plenty of badly-made pipes out there, but I would suggest that anyone committed enough to join this website is paying enought attention to avoid them. Last summer a new colleague was introduced to the wnder of Briar and I am proud that I was the person to do it. We would spend 45 minutes in our local pipeshop debating the finer points between different designs or even different examples of the same model and it was very stimualating. This gentleman very quickly became an expert, spending hours online drooling over this or that model. A mere few months after buying an affordable Savinelli he got the bug, bit the bullet and paid a substantial sum for a Castello. He has never looked back!

 

[foggymountain]

Bad pipes are caused by the following faults, among others:

Draft hole is not exactly at the bottom of the bowl.

Briar is not considerably aged.

Briar has too much soft wood in it.

Bad tasting stain or wax.

Pipe is too short.

Pipe overheats because of thin walls.

Not cleaned adequately.

Stain in draft hole or bowl.

Lacquer instead of stain.

Uncomfortable or inadequate stem.

Filter.

Insufficient rest between smokes.

 

[12pups]

Foggy -- nice list. Unless someone can add to it, that's perfect!
Captain -- oh, I know that superglue taste! So I *wasn't* the only one who hated that. Once I got that out of a cheap pipe, it became one of my favorites, though. In fact, just about to fill it here in a moment for my morning break.
Cosmic -- made me feel kind of queasy just from your description.
Thanks, all of you. I think your responses really stepped up my prudence in purchasing. Quite a bit more wary now, and hell, might even look intelligent when I go to buy something.
Thanks!

 

[cigrmaster]

I will add to foggy's list.
A pipe that smokes wet is a bad pipe.
A pipe that has a real uncomfortable stem is a bad pipe.
A pipe that has been over reamed or has spider webbing is a bad pipe.
A pipe that is out of round is a bad pipe.

 

[12pups]

Thanks, cigrmaster!

 

[shaintiques]

I agree with the above, there are obvious physical and design problems, but often times the bad qualities emerge on a smoker by smoker basis. I've had pipes that for me were bad, draft was way too open or too tight for example for my tastes. And when that happens I put them up for sale. It is always interesting to me when the recipients report back that the pipe is a perfect smoke. Take bit preference for example. Some guys love a very pronounced button for clenching, others like a slim line and find the large button uncomfortable. So I'de say there are bad pipes and then there are bad pipes. Some are just bad, some are just wrong for particular people.

 

[mso489]

1. I had a pipe that was simply drilled too narrowly. It smoked well at first, but every time I put a pipe cleaner

through it, it caught cotton fluff that would not free up. After cleaning it fore and aft for a number of smokes --

it was a beautifully shaped Dublin, slim and perfect -- I finally traded it off. Its beauty did not compensate for

the trouble.

2. Some pipes take forever to break-in. These are alluring because they begin to show signs of hope, but they

can take years to really settle in, with a neutral bowl flavor, a nice draw, an even burn -- all those lovely qualities

of a well-broken-in pipe.

3. Some pipes are just prone to crack, especially between the stem and the bowl. Often they will give good years

of service, but while others of their vintage are settling into what seems to be serviceable immortality, there

they go, with the crack. These aren't bad, but merely shorter lived than others.
I shop for pipes in such a slow, deliberate way, that I usually end up with "good pipes," with highly acceptable

smoking traits. I can find fine smokers in the category where others see only cheap. But I can spot a lot of bad

pipes, and don't even spend time figuring out what the problem is. I just pass them by, mostly, with luck.