How Many Surgeries Have You Had?

[cigrmaster]

If I win do I a get a lollypop?
Tonsillitis when I was a kid.
Multiple kidney stone surgeries where they have to go into through your dick to get the stone. Conservative estimate is at least 6.
Lithotripsies that is when they pound your kidney stones from the outside with ultra sound to break up the stones so you can piss them out. At least 4 of those. It feels like someone took a bat to your kidneys. But it beats the hell out of the surgery when they go through your dick and then leave a stent in your ureter for at least a week. It feels like pissing glass.
Left shoulder they had to scrap bone off my collar bone as I was bone on bone from too much tennis. I lost 10 mph on my serve on that one.
Left foot Plantar Fasciitis surgery
Right foot bone spur surgery
Left wrist surgery
Synovial Cyst back surgery
Laminectomy back surgery
Spinal Fusion with all kinds of metal my last back surgery

I am still not done as I have to get Cataract surgery on both eyes.
One more condition where there is no surgery to fix it is Neuropathy which is nerve damage from my back and the severe spinal stenosis I have. The only medicine that gives any relief is a drug that kills your kidneys. I also have stage 4 kidney disease and if doesn't get better I am looking at dialysis.

When I look at this list I wonder how I had so much fun through all of the years. I was a snow skier and a pretty good one. I have been scuba diving at some of the best reefs in the world. I have traveled to a lot of cool places. Playing sports my whole life it is no wonder I am crippled. I cannot count the number of times I was on crutches for tearing up both ankles.

I really miss my tennis and golf the most. But then I think about how lucky I am to have 4 great kids, a nice home, nice cars, plenty of food in the fridge and I beat a case of Covid pretty easily. I see how many billions of people are looking for their next bowl of rice and I don't feel sorry for myself. I have plenty of great pipes and tobacco and if I have to use a wheel chair to go anywhere, it is a price I am willing to gladly pay.

My sig tag says it all. I am going to leave a body that no one would want for spare parts.

 

[macaroni]

What a cool thread! Shit--how'd you learn how to spell all those words, like ". . . Lithotripsies???" ))
kindly
mike

 

[mso489]

That is a long brave journey. I'm glad life has been rewarding in many ways for you. i'm wary of surgery because my wife has had problems and follow-up revisions on a hip replacement that should have been a quick recovery, and was until infection set in. But I've had a few, and a few kidney stone episodes but no surgeries on that. Good health to you; you admirably count your blessings.

 

[hoosierpipeguy]

I had a serious injury in 1989 that subsequently led to a voluntary below the knee amputation in 1994. I lost count of the number of surgeries and procedures I went through trying to save the leg. This included traveling to Norfolk, VA to have experimental nerve microsurgery performed by a World Class Surgeon Julia Turzis. Around 15 hours under for this deal.

I don't think pounding your kidney stones with ultrasound hardly stack up favorably Harris. I win, send me the prize.

I also had a penis reduction surgery in 2001. As I aged, carrying around that significant load became more than I could handle. As was the case with most of my lady friends as well. Harris, I heard you paid good money for my discard to use in your Adadictome procedure. i noticed you overlooked mentioning that one in your medical resume previously listed.

 

[cigrmaster]

What a cool thread! Shit--how'd you learn how to spell all those words, like ". . . Lithotripsies???" ))
kindly
mike

Why Google of course. I can't spell for shit anymore.

 

[warren]

Not in your league but, I've had my share.

 

[cigrmaster]

Adadictome procedure. I had to look that one up also. That is one surgery I know for a fact I will never get. lol

 

[bluegrassbrian]

Not counting oral surgeries like wisdom tooth extraction - I've had one major surgery.
November of 2020 I finally walked in to the ER at my PCPs urging. I had been experiencing acute abdominal pain for the preceding 15 months whenever I'd eat solid food. This would come and go usually a couple months at a time. I had seen 2 docs and a gastro, had an endoscopy, lots of labwork and conjecture but no answers.
In the 2 months before I was admitted my symptoms were rapidly worsening. The pain was being accompanied by uncontrollable vomiting. I lost almost 40 lbs, was dehydrated and malnourished.
CAT scans finally shed some light (imagine that). Large mass in my small intestine, possible tumor.

Even longer story shortened - surgery was mostly successful in removing the mass. Good news it wasn't cancerous. Surgeon removed over 2ft of mostly small intestine that had pretzeled itself into a ball. She said it was the most severe example of Crohns she had personally seen.
Lucky me.

 

[kola]

LOL@Hoosiers reduction surgery and donor act..hahaha

 

[tbradsim1]

Hoosier had to wear 2 belts because of his package, once a man on the side of him at a urinal glanced and thought an Anaconda was there, called animal control, Hoosier zipped and no more Anaconda

 

[JOHN72]

No surgery for the moment.In the army I was in a military hospital, but the nurses were nuns. A check of the colon, of the intestines. There was nothing serious. I was shitting all day, because they gave me concentrated apple syrup to drink. The roommates kept laughing. I felt like shitting all the time. It was funny, those nun nurses were incredibly funny. He had a serious oral health problem. The most, I had 6 teeth removed, for orthodontics, when I was a teenager. I remember I was very thin, very black from the sun, and my mouth was elongated like a Doberman dog's snout. It really looked like a Doberman dog, sitting on the porch of my parents' house.

 

[El Capitán]

Only surgery I had was for my acromegaly. Had a tumor on my pituitary gland. Has a metal thing shoved up my nose. I was unconscious of course. Last I was measured was in high school at 6'10". They said I could grow a few more inches but I haven't let my doctors measure me since then, about 14 years.

 

[macaroni]

You guys are cracking me up with your talking shit! LOL

 

[canucklehead]

Lots of injuries but no surgeries. I've had a few bits stitched and glued back together though.

 

[didimauw]

None of mine really count but...
Stitches on my forehead and chin.
Forehead glued back together.
7 teeth pulled at once. 2 more need extraction yet.
Nerve ablasions in my lower back.
Vasectomy.
Groin hernia.

 

[jpmcwjr]

No place for inserting foul language in this thread.

 

[ashdigger]

I’ve had my share of surgeries. The three that come to mind though are the occasions I’ve stitched myself up.

Foot, knee and leg.

Three separate events.

 

[sandollars]

62 years old. Zero, zip. Nada.

Puffy

 

[Brendan]

One to get it reduced.

One to get it back to the 'original'..

The missus is happier that way.


Edit : I should have read the thread before jumping in and posting, but I'll keep this here and say I can relate to Mr Hoosier. It's not easy but we play the hands we are dealt I guess.

 

[sablebrush52]

I've had a few, gall bladder when I was 29, kidney stones 25 years apart, eye surgery for an enlarged blood vessel on my macula, cyst removal, Pancreatitis caused by a stone that got away from the gall bladder surgery and lodged in the Pancreatic duct, that nearly killed me, etc, etc.

Oh, yeah, dental surgery...

Fun times.