Keep Your Laws Off My Pack
-
Kevin Godbee - Dec 2, 2010
- 5 min read
By C. R. S. Lyles
All Ralphie Parker wanted for Christmas was "an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time." However, as those who are already familiar with the story know, one thing stands in his way of acquiring this coveted possession: his mother’s resounding mantra of "You’ll shoot your eye out."
The similarities between the conflict of A Christmas Story and the conflicts that smokers encounter and have encountered with health care crusaders, anti-smoking activists, and the majority of the non-smoking population in general illuminates a startling parallel which can best be seen through public health’s claims that smoking-related deaths are comparable to Nazi genocide and a 1986 Journal of the American Medical Association editorial which has dubbed the last half-century "the tobaccoism holocaust".
The irony of these claims, of course, is that Adolf Hitler was an rabid anti-smoker, going so far as to order that Joseph Stalin’s cigarette be removed from an official photograph taken after the signing of the Germany/Soviet Union nonaggression pact.
But irony in and of itself is what has come to define the anti-smoking crusade. In public, their pointed posturing and vehement calls for the end of the tobacco luxury rival even the most enthusiastic televangelist. In private, their desire for the money generated from the sale of tobacco products would put the fictional character of Gordon Gekko to shame.
Sadly, the argument over whether or not people should be allowed to smoke has become a nearly all-consuming issue in today’s society, shadowing while at the same time enhancing other timely and equally dichotomous issues like the same-sex marriage debate, stem cell research, and the pro-life vs. pro-choice battle.
However, unlike those other arguments, the confrontation between smokers and non-smokers has a history that goes back over four hundred years.
In 1603, King James I published A Counterblaste to Tobacco, which can be considered the first piece of anti-smoking propaganda. In it, James asks "Shall we…abase ourselves so farre, as to imitate these beastly Indians?…Why doe we not as well imitate them in walking naked as they does?…yea why doe we not denie God and adore the Devill as they doe?"
James, of course, speaks of the traditional Native American practice of smoking tobacco, whose luxury the first of the American settlers would discover and eventually cultivate into an industry beginning in the second colony of Virginia (a village which was, ironically, named Jamestown).
James I was the first person to use such excessive language in an attempt to dissuade smoking, but he was by no means the last. He also set a precedent which has come to define the anti-smoking agenda in 1619, when he forbade domestic cultivation of tobacco and made the trade a royal monopoly, thus rejecting smoking but welcoming the money it generated.
The lesson to be learned from the anecdote about James I and, by extension, Ralphie Parker, is that of choice, because in both circumstances the dreams, desires, and ambitions of the few are blasted by some form of authoritarian leadership who believes that it has the best interests for the few at heart.
As stated in the book For Your Own Good: The Anti-Smoking Crusade and the Tyranny of Public Health, author Jacob Sullum illustrates this point beautifully:
"The accumulation of evidence through systematic research – especially large-scale epidemiological studies that examined the relationship between smoking and diseases that take decades to develop – elevated warnings about tobacco above anecdote, folklore, and superstition. It gave tobacco’s opponents new credibility and added to their ranks. But it did not, by itself, indicate what the government should do about smoking, if anything. That is why Americans are still arguing about what, exactly, ‘appropriate remedial action’ is."
We get it; smoking is bad for us. We understand the risks inherent in taking a drag, and we are adult enough and mentally cognizant enough to be able to weigh the pros and cons.
Even before Congress adopted the Comprehensive Smoking Education Act of 1984, we knew the warnings.
It has been argued that the warning labels on tobacco products are for those who "are not" aware of the potential risks, but you’ll be hard-pressed to find anyone who doesn’t know that smoking is possibly dangerous. Even with the cleverly-rotating reminders that are always preceded by the garishly-capitalized SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING, the message is understood even before it is read.
And while it can be argued that the general concern exhibited by the anti-smoking activists is somewhat flattering, it can become a little bit smothering. Like an overbearing matriarch, the incessant molly-coddling of these health care crusaders comes off as more annoying than good-hearted, especially when the money generated from tobacco sales is in fact funding their vendetta against the very people whom they seek to save from themselves.
In fact, it is this ceaseless posturing which has turned off more potential supporters than anything else. In his article "The Triumph of the Cigarette", Carl Avery Werner writes that "The more violently [the cigarette] has been attacked, the more popular it has become", due primarily to the "melodramatic" propaganda cultivated by the more zealous of tobacco’s opposition.
And if any evidence is needed regarding the bizarre and somewhat controversial depths to which the anti-smoking activists will stoop in order to achieve their goals, one only has to look at the research conducted on mice in which scientists knowingly coated their backs with tar in order to simulate the effects which lead to the development of cancer.
As it is expressed by the narrating voice of Guy Ritchie’s film RocknRolla, "We all like a bit of the good life." Some of us like to smoke. Some of us like to tell other people not to. The point is, the probability of a smoker purposefully walking up to you and blowing smoke is your face is slim, whereas the probability of an anti-smoking activist coming up to you and refusing to leave you alone while they espouse all the "scientific evidence" against your "disgusting habit" lingers somewhere between 99-100% probable.
And while we are humbled by your concern for our well-being, we’re honestly kind of tired of hearing about how we’ll shoot our eye out.
Carter R. Lyles is a student at the University of Central Florida in Orlando, FL and at the University of Florida in Gainesville. He is a journalism/psychology major, and in addition to his work at Pipes Magazine, he has contributed articles to The Alligator, Thursday Night Magazine, and The Fine Print. |
Written by Kevin Godbee
3 Responses
Recent Posts
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 640. Our featured interview on tonight’s show is with Ben Rapaport. Ben has been known internationally as an avid pipe smoker, antique pipe collector, and book author. His first book on pipes was published in 1972, and his latest book – his 10th – is out now in very limited quantities. The distribution has already sold out, but you can still get a copy of “The Wide World of Wood Tobacco Pipes. Two Centuries of Craftsmanship and Creativity” by contacting him directly at ben70gray@gmail.com. At the top of the show we’ll be turning the tables on our recurring Ask the Pipemaker segment. This time, Jeff Gracik will ask the questions, which Brian will answer as a pipe collector, and you can give your answers too.
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 639. Our featured interview on tonight’s show is with Per Billhäll. Per is the owner of Scandinavian Pipes, which is an online retailer of high grade pipes. He started smoking pipes in the 1960s. His first high grade pipe was made by Hans “Former” Nielsen, who is one of the living legends from Denmark. That led to Per becoming a huge pipe and tobacco collector, and show attendee where he became well known. Along with pipe book author Jan Andersson, they started The Pipe Club of Sweden in 1991. Then in 1999, Per started “Scan Pipes”. He is now one of the pipe retailing legends from Sweden. At the top of the show Brian will talk about holiday blends, and other special pipe tobacco blends.
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 638. Our featured interview on tonight’s show is with Fae “The Sassy Pipe Lady” Simmons. Fae is the owner of Tobacco Treasures, which sells new, vintage, & estate pipes, and smoking accessories on Etsy. She has been in business since 2017, and has been surrounded by pipes and tobacco most of her life. Her father and his brother smoked pipes, and so does Fae. Her husband is also a retired tobacconist that worked all over the industry from coast to coast for several different companies in the industry. She has a great story of how her business got started with a great inventory of unsmoked vintage pipes. At the top of the show we will have an Ask the Tobacco Blender segment with Jeremy Reeves. Jeremy is the Head Blender at Cornell & Diehl, which is one of the most popular boutique pipe tobacco companies in the USA.
Ok, so it’s that time of year, as we all know. Family feasts, houses, yards, and big trees festooned with lights and dangling ornaments, just high enough to keep the cats from reaching a paw into the greenery. It’s also the time of year when your pipe-smoking-significant other makes vast hints about a new pipe. That’s to be expected since he or she was a good boy or girl during the year. Yes, ladies smoke pipes, too. Oh, you want an example? Okay, try Actress Greta Garbo, Millicent Fenwick, Mary Frith, and my late grandmother (who died when she was 93) dipped snuff and smoked a cob occasionally. So now that we have settled that the gentler side of life will puff a pipe too, let’s move on to the upcoming biggest holiday of all. Of course, that huge event is brought to us by the hefty fellow in a red suit, puffing his pipe all the way in a sled filled with presents, being led by a reindeer with a red nose. Or some such. That’s Santa Claus, of course. Becoming a bit more serious, Christmas is such a wonderful time for families and friends. It’s also quite special for pipe puffers. For many of us, this brings up a nostalgic look back to our pipe-smoking or cigar-smoking friends who have died during the current year. A great journalist pal whom I often joined in a local brick-and-mortar pipe and cigar shop. I puffed my pipe, and occasional cigar, as he enjoyed a cigar. He died in October and will be missed. On the happier side of things, Christmas is also a time when mind workers of the world renew their collections with fresh additions. Pundit included. A French passion has overtaken Pundit, from reading more Albert Camus, a heavy cigarette smoker, as were many French intellectuals of a certain time. Instead of cigarettes many of us prefer the more relaxed enjoyment of pipes for that “calm and objective judgment” in the comings and goings of the world. This brings me to French pipes. While visiting France once in the long ago, I happened by a “Tabac” shop in Paris, Tabac Des Vosges. I purchased a beauty of a Chacom bent. I also later bought a Ropp made from ancient briar. To learn more about the dawn of briar pipes and beginnings, take a peek at a well-done piece by Davin Hylton in Pipe Line on April 12, 2023, on Saint-Claude, France, the birthplace of briar. Also in the long back when, on a cold Christmas afternoon, Pundit wandered into an Atlanta bricks and mortar pipe shop to look around. There, resting in an enclosed glass counter was an exquisite Comoy. An older gent, smoking a beautiful bent, asked me if I wanted to look at that pipe. It had a $100 price tag. A college student working for a grocery store chain to help with college tuition at the time, Pundit didn’t have one hundred cents, let alone a C note! I declined and found a $5 basket pipe. A Christmas tradition had just begun. Since that early time, Pundit has made it a holiday ritual to either reward himself, or a special friend, with pipe or tobacco. A Claudio Cavicchi would be nice. Just sayin.’ And now for a couple of December-born Pipe Smokers of the Past: Joseph Rudyard Kipling was born on Dec. 30, 1865, and died on Jan. 18, 1936. I always prefer to believe the best of everybody; it saves so much trouble—Rudyard Kipling. Martin Van Buren, born Dec. 5, 1782, and died July 24, 1862, U.S. President, 1837-1841 As to the presidency, the two happiest days of my life were those of my entrance upon the office and my surrender of it—Martin Van Buren. And one more note to recall a deceased World War II veteran who loved William Somerset Maugham, the author. Maugham, a pipe smoker, was born in Paris, France, on Jan. 25, 1874, and died on Dec. 16, 1965. One cool afternoon as the veteran and I talked while sitting in his backyard patio, he looked off into the distance as if studying something. Nothing in particular. Just looking. He turned to me and said if I wanted to learn about life, “read Somerset Maugham.” I did. It wasn’t until late in life that I discovered how easy it is to say, ‘I don’t know’ –W. Somerset Maugham And now a Parting Shot: Any day with an old friend with pipes and tobacco is a good day.
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 637. Our featured interview on tonight’s show is with Nate King. Most people know of Nate as an excellent pipe artisan. He also has an honorary Master of Pipes degree from the Chicagoland Pipe Collectors Club, and is a member of the prestigious Confrérie des Maitres Pipiers de Saint-Claude. To be inducted into the Confrérie, this past May Nate travelled to Saint-Claude, France with master tobacco blender G.L. Pease, who was also inducted. It was quite a time in France, and at the ceremony. We’ll hear all about those adventures on the show. At the top of the show we’ll continue the virtual tour of Brian’s pipe collection with six of his Satou Dublin-shape pipes.
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 636. Our featured interview on tonight’s show is with Barry Kane. Barry started smoking a pipe in 1961 when he was 14-years old. Back then it seemed like everybody smoked, and you could buy pipes and tobacco just about anywhere. Barry is a true old-school pipe smoker, sticking to just one blend. See if you can guess which one before listening. At the top of the show Brian will give his take on Scandinavian Tobacco Group’s purchase of Mac Baren and Sutliff Tobacco and their announcement that they will be shut down.
The point is clear, and the argument very nicely accomplished. Excellent writing.
Great article. Nazi anti-smokers are everywhere. I believe they inhale more toxic exhaust from their cars than they do from our smoke, yet they blame us for all the lung cancer.
Very well done. Thank you.