Pipe & Tobacco Etiquette
-
Kevin Godbee - Jun 4, 2010
- 5 min read
We receive numerous submissions here at PipesMagazine.com, but we don’t often publish them.
However, a recent submission was so impressive that we wish we came up with it ourselves. We have to share it.
This is from The official blog of: Romeo’s Downtown Pipe & Tobacco Co. (Rogers, AR)
An interesting side note is that Frank Romeo, the owner of Romeo’s Downtown Pipe & Tobacco, was the very first member to ever sign up to PipesMagazine.com. He actually signed up while the site was still in development.
You can see an article we published about his shop here:
Romeo’s Downtown Pipe & Tobacco Co.
We think this is a great list of pipe & tobacco etiquette, and it is also a little comical.
They decided to title it "Official SMOKER LAW, 1st Ed.", which had us thinking it was about anti-tobacco legislation, but it is not.
This list should be the only real laws about tobacco.
Re-published by permission from http://romeospipe.blogspot.com/2010/06/official-smoker-law-1st-ed.html
————————-
This is the first official edition of Smoker Law. It is a collection of rules to help guide smokers in their interactions with fellow smokers and those who do not partake in the leaf. It is our sincere hope that these rules will lead to a fuller enjoyment of all forms of tobacco. This list is not final, and further editions will be released as more laws are accumulated. Suggested additions may be submitted in the comments below.
1. If the purpose of your gathering is, in part or in whole, the use and consumption of tobacco, any tobacco product or accessory on the table may be used by anyone in attendance. A smoker who uses another’s tobacco need not ask permission but must offer some commentary on the blend. Pipes are excluded from general use but may be fondled and ogled at any time, again with commentary.
2. Anyone given a standing offer to help himself or herself to a friend’s tobacco need never ask for permission. However, it is still necessary to acknowledge the taking of said tobacco. A simple "I stole a cigar" shall suffice.
3. Matches and lighters should be shared without hesitation, but a smoker should only hold the lighter while lighting for a member of the opposite sex.
4. It is permissible to share pipes but not encouraged. Those sharing should be family or closer.
5. Corncob pipes are still pipes, unless they are from China.
6. When showing off a new pipe, it is permissible to comment on its uniqueness, its craftsmanship, or the ridiculously low price paid for it. It is not acceptable to show off a new pipe to brag about how much you spent or how impressive a pipe you can afford. The exception occurs if said pipe purchase cause your divorce. Then anything goes.
7. Although it is not acceptable to brag about how much you spent on a pipe, if you feel you must, you may only tell others the price you told your wife/significant other you paid for it.
8. It is only acceptable to encourage Pipe Acquisition Disorder (PAD) and Tobacco Acquisition Disorder (TAD). Such compulsive purchases may never be discouraged. The exception comes if the purchase includes a pipe or rare tobacco you plan to purchase yourself. Should you decide not to purchase the item(s) for yourself, you are obligated to make the purchase for the person you discouraged from buying.
9. Pipes, cigars and cigarettes may be used as pointers to enhance a discussion or monologue, or in physical expression of general pontification. They may never be used as swords. Pretending they are lightsabers may result in expulsion from the social group or place of business.
10. Smokers should make a good faith effort to use tobacco away from non-smokers, but as soon as someone pretends to cough, the smoker is allowed to pretend to ignore the cougher. This is doubly true if the tobacco is unlit, in which case, the smoker may blow pretend smoke in the cougher’s face.
11. Any pipe or cigar smoker living within 50 miles of a locally owned tobacconist specializing in his or her tobacco of choice must patronize the business at least four times per year. Within 10 miles, it shall be monthly at a minimum.
12. Any smoker insisting others use any high-end product, be it pipe or cigar or tobacco or accessory, should supply it. Anyone not willing to buy his friends a Dunhill needs to keep quiet about them.
13. When it comes to tobacco-fueled social gatherings, if it is not a lie, it’s not worth telling.
14. You can make fun of someone who is sending you free tobacco, but you shouldn’t if you want that to continue.
15. Among the group, the person who smokes a pipe, wears glasses and has a beard is, by default, the smartest and most reliable person in the room. If more than one person fits this description, seniority will be determined by the highest percentage of naturally bald scalp.
16. While amongst fellow smokers, should an amber jumps out of your bowl and onto your favorite shirt, proper etiquette is to brush it away quickly, not jump up and do the hokey pokey dance while bumping in to the tin, the pipe racks and everyone else.
17. You can smoke a pipe, yet not be a pipe smoker. You must to elicit the accompanying and misleading sense of wisdom to be accepted as such.
18. A smoker should not be overly concerned when the smoking of a stout, nicotine-heavy blend causes the room to spin. For many smokers, that is the total extent of their exercise.
19. If inhale the aroma of another’s tobacco so deeply that some becomes lodged in the nose, discretely remove the burley cube from your nostril hair before returning to the general conversation.
20. While discussing a pipe you wish to buy, other smokers involved in the conversation must wait 3 minutes before purchasing said item for themselves. Showing more then one picture of the pipe removes the waiting period and absolves any smoker who cannot help himself.
21. Proper etiquette dictates that, when at a friends house, you should either refrain from smoking or ask permission before lighting up. However, when in your own home, proper etiquette can stay outside with the non-smokers.
22. To smoke dottle, or not to smoke dottle, that is your option.
23. Size and technique don’t matter. Attitude does.
24. Politics and religion may only be discussed so long as you can still share tobacco.
25. Smoking a cigar around pipe smokers and vice versa is encouraged, but anyone who lights a cigarette when higher quality tobaccos are readily available invites the mocking of his or her peers.
This list was created by the combined efforts of The Ozark Pipe Smokers of Rogers, Ark., and the members of Pipe Chat. It may be reproduced with proper attribution and cited as needed.
Written by Kevin Godbee
9 Responses
Recent Posts
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 640. Our featured interview on tonight’s show is with Ben Rapaport. Ben has been known internationally as an avid pipe smoker, antique pipe collector, and book author. His first book on pipes was published in 1972, and his latest book – his 10th – is out now in very limited quantities. The distribution has already sold out, but you can still get a copy of “The Wide World of Wood Tobacco Pipes. Two Centuries of Craftsmanship and Creativity” by contacting him directly at ben70gray@gmail.com. At the top of the show we’ll be turning the tables on our recurring Ask the Pipemaker segment. This time, Jeff Gracik will ask the questions, which Brian will answer as a pipe collector, and you can give your answers too.
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 639. Our featured interview on tonight’s show is with Per Billhäll. Per is the owner of Scandinavian Pipes, which is an online retailer of high grade pipes. He started smoking pipes in the 1960s. His first high grade pipe was made by Hans “Former” Nielsen, who is one of the living legends from Denmark. That led to Per becoming a huge pipe and tobacco collector, and show attendee where he became well known. Along with pipe book author Jan Andersson, they started The Pipe Club of Sweden in 1991. Then in 1999, Per started “Scan Pipes”. He is now one of the pipe retailing legends from Sweden. At the top of the show Brian will talk about holiday blends, and other special pipe tobacco blends.
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 638. Our featured interview on tonight’s show is with Fae “The Sassy Pipe Lady” Simmons. Fae is the owner of Tobacco Treasures, which sells new, vintage, & estate pipes, and smoking accessories on Etsy. She has been in business since 2017, and has been surrounded by pipes and tobacco most of her life. Her father and his brother smoked pipes, and so does Fae. Her husband is also a retired tobacconist that worked all over the industry from coast to coast for several different companies in the industry. She has a great story of how her business got started with a great inventory of unsmoked vintage pipes. At the top of the show we will have an Ask the Tobacco Blender segment with Jeremy Reeves. Jeremy is the Head Blender at Cornell & Diehl, which is one of the most popular boutique pipe tobacco companies in the USA.
Ok, so it’s that time of year, as we all know. Family feasts, houses, yards, and big trees festooned with lights and dangling ornaments, just high enough to keep the cats from reaching a paw into the greenery. It’s also the time of year when your pipe-smoking-significant other makes vast hints about a new pipe. That’s to be expected since he or she was a good boy or girl during the year. Yes, ladies smoke pipes, too. Oh, you want an example? Okay, try Actress Greta Garbo, Millicent Fenwick, Mary Frith, and my late grandmother (who died when she was 93) dipped snuff and smoked a cob occasionally. So now that we have settled that the gentler side of life will puff a pipe too, let’s move on to the upcoming biggest holiday of all. Of course, that huge event is brought to us by the hefty fellow in a red suit, puffing his pipe all the way in a sled filled with presents, being led by a reindeer with a red nose. Or some such. That’s Santa Claus, of course. Becoming a bit more serious, Christmas is such a wonderful time for families and friends. It’s also quite special for pipe puffers. For many of us, this brings up a nostalgic look back to our pipe-smoking or cigar-smoking friends who have died during the current year. A great journalist pal whom I often joined in a local brick-and-mortar pipe and cigar shop. I puffed my pipe, and occasional cigar, as he enjoyed a cigar. He died in October and will be missed. On the happier side of things, Christmas is also a time when mind workers of the world renew their collections with fresh additions. Pundit included. A French passion has overtaken Pundit, from reading more Albert Camus, a heavy cigarette smoker, as were many French intellectuals of a certain time. Instead of cigarettes many of us prefer the more relaxed enjoyment of pipes for that “calm and objective judgment” in the comings and goings of the world. This brings me to French pipes. While visiting France once in the long ago, I happened by a “Tabac” shop in Paris, Tabac Des Vosges. I purchased a beauty of a Chacom bent. I also later bought a Ropp made from ancient briar. To learn more about the dawn of briar pipes and beginnings, take a peek at a well-done piece by Davin Hylton in Pipe Line on April 12, 2023, on Saint-Claude, France, the birthplace of briar. Also in the long back when, on a cold Christmas afternoon, Pundit wandered into an Atlanta bricks and mortar pipe shop to look around. There, resting in an enclosed glass counter was an exquisite Comoy. An older gent, smoking a beautiful bent, asked me if I wanted to look at that pipe. It had a $100 price tag. A college student working for a grocery store chain to help with college tuition at the time, Pundit didn’t have one hundred cents, let alone a C note! I declined and found a $5 basket pipe. A Christmas tradition had just begun. Since that early time, Pundit has made it a holiday ritual to either reward himself, or a special friend, with pipe or tobacco. A Claudio Cavicchi would be nice. Just sayin.’ And now for a couple of December-born Pipe Smokers of the Past: Joseph Rudyard Kipling was born on Dec. 30, 1865, and died on Jan. 18, 1936. I always prefer to believe the best of everybody; it saves so much trouble—Rudyard Kipling. Martin Van Buren, born Dec. 5, 1782, and died July 24, 1862, U.S. President, 1837-1841 As to the presidency, the two happiest days of my life were those of my entrance upon the office and my surrender of it—Martin Van Buren. And one more note to recall a deceased World War II veteran who loved William Somerset Maugham, the author. Maugham, a pipe smoker, was born in Paris, France, on Jan. 25, 1874, and died on Dec. 16, 1965. One cool afternoon as the veteran and I talked while sitting in his backyard patio, he looked off into the distance as if studying something. Nothing in particular. Just looking. He turned to me and said if I wanted to learn about life, “read Somerset Maugham.” I did. It wasn’t until late in life that I discovered how easy it is to say, ‘I don’t know’ –W. Somerset Maugham And now a Parting Shot: Any day with an old friend with pipes and tobacco is a good day.
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 637. Our featured interview on tonight’s show is with Nate King. Most people know of Nate as an excellent pipe artisan. He also has an honorary Master of Pipes degree from the Chicagoland Pipe Collectors Club, and is a member of the prestigious ConfrĂ©rie des Maitres Pipiers de Saint-Claude. To be inducted into the ConfrĂ©rie, this past May Nate travelled to Saint-Claude, France with master tobacco blender G.L. Pease, who was also inducted. It was quite a time in France, and at the ceremony. We’ll hear all about those adventures on the show. At the top of the show we’ll continue the virtual tour of Brian’s pipe collection with six of his Satou Dublin-shape pipes.
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 636. Our featured interview on tonight’s show is with Barry Kane. Barry started smoking a pipe in 1961 when he was 14-years old. Back then it seemed like everybody smoked, and you could buy pipes and tobacco just about anywhere. Barry is a true old-school pipe smoker, sticking to just one blend. See if you can guess which one before listening. At the top of the show Brian will give his take on Scandinavian Tobacco Group’s purchase of Mac Baren and Sutliff Tobacco and their announcement that they will be shut down.
This is great, I love it!
Great job! Finally the self-contained rules and recomends, that helps smokers when come together.
I absolutely loved this article. It had me laughing and was very informative. Thanks!
Fantastic,it all makes perfectly normal sense to me.
I love this article! It’s great! I’ll be blowing a lot of pretend smoke AND asserting my wisdom!
OMG! Glasses, full beard and bald head, that’s me! I’m gonna be dynamic next time we get together. I’m gonna print this and use it for my legitimacy!!! Nice Goin guys!!
That’s awesome!! I’m going to frame it and post it above my humidors and pipe stand 🙂
I had a good laugh before heading out to work. Excellent!