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georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
6,013
16,277
Please do not interrupt my journified life-journey of self discovery with such tone deaf and specious demands for attention, Mr. Woodsroad. The emotional toll on my self-esteem is overwhelming, and I can barely withstand the assault of implied questions such as yours if I allow myself to get drawn down the journey-path journey of considering answers to them.

In fact, I now feel that my only way forward is to start a GoFundMe page, so I can un-do the damage journey you inflicted on my journified life-journey.

Thanks for nothing, dick.
 

woodsroad

Lifer
Oct 10, 2013
12,649
20,184
SE PA USA
This man ^^^^ gets it.


Cheese has holes.
More cheese = more holes.
More holes = less cheese.

More cheese = less cheese.
42.

There was a bridge built across the marshes. A cyberstructured hyperbridge, hundreds of miles in length, to carry ion-buggies and freighters over the swamp."

"A bridge?" quirruled the mattress. "Here in the swamp?"

"A bridge," confirmed Marvin, "here in the swamp. It was going to revitalize the economy of the Squornshellous System. They spent the entire economy of the Squornshellous System building it. They asked me to open it. Poor fools."

It began to rain a little, a fine spray slid through the mist.

"I stood on the platform. For hundreds of miles in front of me, and hundreds of miles behind me, the bridge stretched."

"Did it glitter?" enthused the mattress.

"It glittered."

"Did it span the miles majestically?"

"It spanned the miles majestically."

"Did it stretch like a silver thread far out into the invisible mist?"

"Yes," said Marvin. "Do you want to hear this story?"

"I want to hear your speech," said the mattress.

"This is what I said. I said, "I would like to say that it is a very great pleasure, honour and privilege for me to open this bridge, but I can't because my lying circuits are all out of commission. I hate and despise you all. I now declare this hapless cyberstructure open to the unthinkable abuse of all who wantonly cross her.' And I plugged myself into the opening circuits."

Marvin paused, remembering the moment.

The mattress flurred and glurried. It flolloped, gupped and willomied, doing this last in a particularly floopy way.

"Voon," it wurfed at last. "And it was a magnificent occasion?"

"Reasonably magnificent. The entire thousand-mile-long bridge spontaneously folded up its glittering spans and sank weeping into the mire, taking everybody with it."​
 

jpmcwjr

Moderator
Staff member
May 12, 2015
26,224
30,180
Carmel Valley, CA
Congratulations, and welcome!

Please
put your location in your Profile!
Why: It will save time for others when you mention local stores, weather, tobacco prices, availability, regulations, location of photos, wildfires, air quality, etc.
How: Under your avatar, (top right, left most of three symbols) you choose "Account Details", which brings up "My Account". "My Location" is halfway down.
This looks vaguely familiar. Oh, I see now! Four warning points for plagiarism....
 

georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
6,013
16,277
I think he is smoking all of the tobacco from the "is this mold" threads

That, sir, was a lovely story about a little girl opening presents at her birthday party.

If you couldn't understand that, or didn't see that, the problem is yours, my man. Not Artiste Woodroad's inability to write.

The story was magnificent in every detail.
 

brian64

Lifer
Jan 31, 2011
10,025
16,070
42.

There was a bridge built across the marshes. A cyberstructured hyperbridge, hundreds of miles in length, to carry ion-buggies and freighters over the swamp."

"A bridge?" quirruled the mattress. "Here in the swamp?"

"A bridge," confirmed Marvin, "here in the swamp. It was going to revitalize the economy of the Squornshellous System. They spent the entire economy of the Squornshellous System building it. They asked me to open it. Poor fools."

It began to rain a little, a fine spray slid through the mist.

"I stood on the platform. For hundreds of miles in front of me, and hundreds of miles behind me, the bridge stretched."

"Did it glitter?" enthused the mattress.

"It glittered."

"Did it span the miles majestically?"

"It spanned the miles majestically."

"Did it stretch like a silver thread far out into the invisible mist?"

"Yes," said Marvin. "Do you want to hear this story?"

"I want to hear your speech," said the mattress.

"This is what I said. I said, "I would like to say that it is a very great pleasure, honour and privilege for me to open this bridge, but I can't because my lying circuits are all out of commission. I hate and despise you all. I now declare this hapless cyberstructure open to the unthinkable abuse of all who wantonly cross her.' And I plugged myself into the opening circuits."

Marvin paused, remembering the moment.

The mattress flurred and glurried. It flolloped, gupped and willomied, doing this last in a particularly floopy way.

"Voon," it wurfed at last. "And it was a magnificent occasion?"

"Reasonably magnificent. The entire thousand-mile-long bridge spontaneously folded up its glittering spans and sank weeping into the mire, taking everybody with it."​
Woodsroad's story was so inspiring that I wanted to post the translation for our Pig Latin speaking members. It would be such a shame for them to miss out on it:


42.

Erethay asway away idgebray uiltbay acrossway ethay arshesmay.
Away yberstructuredcay yperbridgehay, undredshay ofway ilesmay
inway engthlay, otay arrycay ionway-uggiesbay andway
eightersfray overway ethay ampsway."

"Away idgebray?" irruledquay ethay attressmay. "Erehay inway
ethay ampsway?"

"Away idgebray," onfirmedcay Arvinmay, "erehay inway ethay
ampsway. Itway asway oinggay otay evitalizeray ethay economyway
ofway ethay Ornshelloussquay Ystemsay. Eythay entspay ethay
entireway economyway ofway ethay Ornshelloussquay Ystemsay
uildingbay itway. Eythay askedway emay otay openway itway.
Oorpay oolsfay."

Itway eganbay otay ainray away ittlelay, away inefay ayspray
idslay oughthray ethay istmay.

"Iway oodstay onway ethay atformplay. Orfay undredshay ofway
ilesmay inway ontfray ofway emay, andway undredshay ofway
ilesmay ehindbay emay, ethay idgebray etchedstray."

"Idday itway itterglay?" enthusedway ethay attressmay.

"Itway itteredglay."

"Idday itway anspay ethay ilesmay ajesticallymay?"

"Itway annedspay ethay ilesmay ajesticallymay."

"Idday itway etchstray ikelay away ilversay eadthray arfay
outway intoway ethay invisibleway istmay?"

"Esyay," aidsay Arvinmay. "Oday ouyay antway otay earhay isthay
orystay?"

"Iway antway otay earhay ouryay eechspay," aidsay ethay
attressmay.

"Isthay isway atwhay Iway aidsay. Iway aidsay, "Iway ouldway
ikelay otay aysay atthay itway isway away eryvay eatgray
easureplay, onourhay andway ivilegepray orfay emay otay openway
isthay idgebray, utbay Iway an'tcay ecausebay ymay yinglay
ircuitscay areway allway outway ofway ommissioncay. Iway atehay
andway espiseday ouyay allway. Iway ownay eclareday isthay
aplesshay yberstructurecay openway otay ethay unthinkableway
abuseway ofway allway owhay antonlyway osscray erhay.' Andway
Iway uggedplay yselfmay intoway ethay openingway ircuitscay."

Arvinmay ausedpay, ememberingray ethay omentmay.

Ethay attressmay urredflay andway urriedglay. Itway ollopedflay
, uppedgay andway illomiedway, oingday isthay astlay inway away
articularlypay oopyflay ayway.

"Oonvay," itway urfedway atway astlay. "Andway itway asway away
agnificentmay occasionway?"

"Easonablyray agnificentmay. Ethay entireway ousandthay-ilemay-
onglay idgebray ontaneouslyspay oldedfay upway itsway
itteringglay ansspay andway anksay eepingway intoway ethay
iremay, akingtay everybodyway ithway itway."
 

woodsroad

Lifer
Oct 10, 2013
12,649
20,184
SE PA USA
Woodsroad's story was so inspiring that I wanted to post the translation for our Pig Latin speaking members. It would be such a shame for them to miss out on it:


42.

Erethay asway away idgebray uiltbay acrossway ethay arshesmay.
Away yberstructuredcay yperbridgehay, undredshay ofway ilesmay
inway engthlay, otay arrycay ionway-uggiesbay andway
eightersfray overway ethay ampsway."

"Away idgebray?" irruledquay ethay attressmay. "Erehay inway
ethay ampsway?"

"Away idgebray," onfirmedcay Arvinmay, "erehay inway ethay
ampsway. Itway asway oinggay otay evitalizeray ethay economyway
ofway ethay Ornshelloussquay Ystemsay. Eythay entspay ethay
entireway economyway ofway ethay Ornshelloussquay Ystemsay
uildingbay itway. Eythay askedway emay otay openway itway.
Oorpay oolsfay."

Itway eganbay otay ainray away ittlelay, away inefay ayspray
idslay oughthray ethay istmay.

"Iway oodstay onway ethay atformplay. Orfay undredshay ofway
ilesmay inway ontfray ofway emay, andway undredshay ofway
ilesmay ehindbay emay, ethay idgebray etchedstray."

"Idday itway itterglay?" enthusedway ethay attressmay.

"Itway itteredglay."

"Idday itway anspay ethay ilesmay ajesticallymay?"

"Itway annedspay ethay ilesmay ajesticallymay."

"Idday itway etchstray ikelay away ilversay eadthray arfay
outway intoway ethay invisibleway istmay?"

"Esyay," aidsay Arvinmay. "Oday ouyay antway otay earhay isthay
orystay?"

"Iway antway otay earhay ouryay eechspay," aidsay ethay
attressmay.

"Isthay isway atwhay Iway aidsay. Iway aidsay, "Iway ouldway
ikelay otay aysay atthay itway isway away eryvay eatgray
easureplay, onourhay andway ivilegepray orfay emay otay openway
isthay idgebray, utbay Iway an'tcay ecausebay ymay yinglay
ircuitscay areway allway outway ofway ommissioncay. Iway atehay
andway espiseday ouyay allway. Iway ownay eclareday isthay
aplesshay yberstructurecay openway otay ethay unthinkableway
abuseway ofway allway owhay antonlyway osscray erhay.' Andway
Iway uggedplay yselfmay intoway ethay openingway ircuitscay."

Arvinmay ausedpay, ememberingray ethay omentmay.

Ethay attressmay urredflay andway urriedglay. Itway ollopedflay
, uppedgay andway illomiedway, oingday isthay astlay inway away
articularlypay oopyflay ayway.

"Oonvay," itway urfedway atway astlay. "Andway itway asway away
agnificentmay occasionway?"

"Easonablyray agnificentmay. Ethay entireway ousandthay-ilemay-
onglay idgebray ontaneouslyspay oldedfay upway itsway
itteringglay ansspay andway anksay eepingway intoway ethay
iremay, akingtay everybodyway ithway itway."
I just cried a little.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: brian64

Fuelman

Starting to Get Obsessed
Apr 20, 2024
150
262
Indiana
Woodsroad's story was so inspiring that I wanted to post the translation for our Pig Latin speaking members. It would be such a shame for them to miss out on it:


42.

Erethay asway away idgebray uiltbay acrossway ethay arshesmay.
Away yberstructuredcay yperbridgehay, undredshay ofway ilesmay
inway engthlay, otay arrycay ionway-uggiesbay andway
eightersfray overway ethay ampsway."

"Away idgebray?" irruledquay ethay attressmay. "Erehay inway
ethay ampsway?"

"Away idgebray," onfirmedcay Arvinmay, "erehay inway ethay
ampsway. Itway asway oinggay otay evitalizeray ethay economyway
ofway ethay Ornshelloussquay Ystemsay. Eythay entspay ethay
entireway economyway ofway ethay Ornshelloussquay Ystemsay
uildingbay itway. Eythay askedway emay otay openway itway.
Oorpay oolsfay."

Itway eganbay otay ainray away ittlelay, away inefay ayspray
idslay oughthray ethay istmay.

"Iway oodstay onway ethay atformplay. Orfay undredshay ofway
ilesmay inway ontfray ofway emay, andway undredshay ofway
ilesmay ehindbay emay, ethay idgebray etchedstray."

"Idday itway itterglay?" enthusedway ethay attressmay.

"Itway itteredglay."

"Idday itway anspay ethay ilesmay ajesticallymay?"

"Itway annedspay ethay ilesmay ajesticallymay."

"Idday itway etchstray ikelay away ilversay eadthray arfay
outway intoway ethay invisibleway istmay?"

"Esyay," aidsay Arvinmay. "Oday ouyay antway otay earhay isthay
orystay?"

"Iway antway otay earhay ouryay eechspay," aidsay ethay
attressmay.

"Isthay isway atwhay Iway aidsay. Iway aidsay, "Iway ouldway
ikelay otay aysay atthay itway isway away eryvay eatgray
easureplay, onourhay andway ivilegepray orfay emay otay openway
isthay idgebray, utbay Iway an'tcay ecausebay ymay yinglay
ircuitscay areway allway outway ofway ommissioncay. Iway atehay
andway espiseday ouyay allway. Iway ownay eclareday isthay
aplesshay yberstructurecay openway otay ethay unthinkableway
abuseway ofway allway owhay antonlyway osscray erhay.' Andway
Iway uggedplay yselfmay intoway ethay openingway ircuitscay."

Arvinmay ausedpay, ememberingray ethay omentmay.

Ethay attressmay urredflay andway urriedglay. Itway ollopedflay
, uppedgay andway illomiedway, oingday isthay astlay inway away
articularlypay oopyflay ayway.

"Oonvay," itway urfedway atway astlay. "Andway itway asway away
agnificentmay occasionway?"

"Easonablyray agnificentmay. Ethay entireway ousandthay-ilemay-
onglay idgebray ontaneouslyspay oldedfay upway itsway
itteringglay ansspay andway anksay eepingway intoway ethay
iremay, akingtay everybodyway ithway itway."
This brought a tear to my eye, so inspiring.
 
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Reactions: brian64

jpmcwjr

Moderator
Staff member
May 12, 2015
26,224
30,180
Carmel Valley, CA
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