Twas the Night After Christmas

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tobyducote

Preferred Member
Jun 10, 2012
1,200
1
Here's how Santa really does it!! I wrote this a few months ago...hope you enjoy
Twas the Night After Christmas
T'Was the night after Christmas and all through the land, all the creatures were sleeping and Santa was resting with a pipe in his hand.
He relaxed in his big leather chair for his first bowl of the night, and gazed at how the pipes on his rack stood out like the stars shinning bright.
As Santa opened his pouch and began to load up his pipe, he thought back to the activities of that most glorious night.
The children were dreaming about the presents they had received, and parents were relaxing with cocktails and feeling relieved.
Mrs. Clause baked pies filled with ripe blueberries, as Santa's pipe filled the room with the aroma of honey and cherries.
The Elves were back in the shop making toys for all of the good little girls and boys, as they hummed tunes of the season, it filled your heart with joy.
As the North Star sparkled in the sky so bright, the glow of Santa's pipe shone in the dark like Rudolph's nose shining it's amber light.
Santa's bag was now empty and the reindeer were resting, so he kicked off his boots and said a holiday blessing.
It was so long ago that a baby was born in a stable in Bethlehem, that continues to bring joy and salvation to all the land.
As Santa reached for a match to relight his pipe, He smiled at the thought of the true meaning of Christmas Night.
He nodded his head and gave a salute with his pipe, and Santa proclaimed once more,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night.
Copyright TD 2014

 

deuce26

Senior Member
Jan 29, 2014
457
0
Slidell, Louisiana
Very nice interpretation. Reading The Night Before Christmas to my children on Christmas Eve is one of things I really look forward to every year. Although, they are starting to outgrow it now.....

 

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ssjones

Moderator
Staff member
May 11, 2011
14,903
1,782
Maryland
postimg.cc
Bravo! I love your version TD.
Here's a few related items we've found over the years.
I think the reference point was Al Gore, but it felt directed at me...


Found at a PA flea market







 

condorlover1

Preferred Member
Dec 22, 2013
4,532
4,721
New York
Here is the same poem written as if Santa was a lawyer!
Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter.
The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House, were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.
Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as "I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the parts of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.)
Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtent to said House, i.e. the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.
At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter the "Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.
Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder and Blitzen (hereinafter the "Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named Rudolph may have been involved.)
The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.
Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.
Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.) Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.
However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that effect."

 

tobyducote

Preferred Member
Jun 10, 2012
1,200
1
The big guy will be coming soon....he is looking forward to resting with his pipe after his busy night...

 
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