Those who Murder their Spouses

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milk

Lifer
Sep 21, 2022
1,104
2,822
Japan
Maybe I listen to too many Dateline podcasts on my commute to work. They’re kind of addictive. But I don’t listen to stuff about serial killers or other kinds of horror. I find these spousal murders most interesting and really perplexing. Many of them are committed by the wives. There are a lot of things that can get by you in life, but the fact that your spouse wants to murder you and is capable of doing it?!? That’s a pretty big matzo ball sitting in your bowl not to notice. On the other hand, maybe they did the same thing I’m doing: betting my life she wouldn’t. And if she would and could? Well, stick a fork in me then. Take the case of Miriam Helmick: she’s in the car in the parking lot of his business and she makes some excuse to check something in the trunk. Then she says she forgot something and goes inside. A minute later he notices his car is on fire and it’s obvious she stuck a makeshift wick in the gas tank. Police know it but he’s not convinced it was her and on they go with their lives. A few months later she tries to get away with shooting him dead and making it look like a burglary. And this guy was no dummy according to his profession, friends and family. He was successful. How did it get by him? And just once out of all the dozens and hundreds of convicted murderers, I’d like one to say later, after they’re convicted, “ok. You got me. I did it.” They all, every single one, go on screaming innocence to the end. It’s really is hard to find an honest murderer these days.
 

anotherbob

Lifer
Mar 30, 2019
16,642
31,194
46
In the semi-rural NorthEastern USA
Maybe I listen to too many Dateline podcasts on my commute to work. They’re kind of addictive. But I don’t listen to stuff about serial killers or other kinds of horror. I find these spousal murders most interesting and really perplexing. Many of them are committed by the wives. There are a lot of things that can get by you in life, but the fact that your spouse wants to murder you and is capable of doing it?!? That’s a pretty big matzo ball sitting in your bowl not to notice. On the other hand, maybe they did the same thing I’m doing: betting my life she wouldn’t. And if she would and could? Well, stick a fork in me then. Take the case of Miriam Helmick: she’s in the car in the parking lot of his business and she makes some excuse to check something in the trunk. Then she says she forgot something and goes inside. A minute later he notices his car is on fire and it’s obvious she stuck a makeshift wick in the gas tank. Police know it but he’s not convinced it was her and on they go with their lives. A few months later she tries to get away with shooting him dead and making it look like a burglary. And this guy was no dummy according to his profession, friends and family. He was successful. How did it get by him? And just once out of all the dozens and hundreds of convicted murderers, I’d like one to say later, after they’re convicted, “ok. You got me. I did it.” They all, every single one, go on screaming innocence to the end. It’s really is hard to find an honest murderer these days.
one of the honest ones is from Japan.Well a serial type killer. The twitter killer. He admitted it once caught and that he'd keep doing it. I guess it is hard to see something that is so abhorant. Though woman doing it more is a case of man bites dog (a dog biting a man happens everyday so not news worthy, a man rarely bites a dog so when it happens it makes the rounds) heck I live in a place with almost no murder and yet every couple of years so guy murders his wife.
 
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shermnatman

Lifer
Jan 25, 2019
1,030
4,869
Philadelphia Suburbs, Pennsylvania
If you ever hear a husband say, "My wife won't let me.......", it's often a red flag.

@Grangerous starts many of his sentences with that exact phrase...

Except when it comes to cooking, grocery shopping, sewing, and cleaning the house. No wonder the poor boy's hands shake and tremble when he loads his pipe when sitting on that up-turned Home Depot 'Homer' Bucket out in the garage!
Schemp.jpg
"... and you forgot to pick-up my Dry Cleaning... AGAIN!!"

:ROFLMAO: - Sherm Natman
 
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milk

Lifer
Sep 21, 2022
1,104
2,822
Japan
one of the honest ones is from Japan.Well a serial type killer. The twitter killer. He admitted it once caught and that he'd keep doing it. I guess it is hard to see something that is so abhorant. Though woman doing it more is a case of man bites dog (a dog biting a man happens everyday so not news worthy, a man rarely bites a dog so when it happens it makes the rounds) heck I live in a place with almost no murder and yet every couple of years so guy murders his wife.
Men are kind of dangerous animals from time to time. It’s still shocking of course, but somehow it’s more bizarre when the wife does it. There’s a dateline where a woman drugs her husband on a boat trip and pushes him off the boat. Even her children from another marriage ended up believing she was guilty and hating her (well, she’d been embezzling from her NGO employer and she’d involved her unknowing daughter in an effort to cover it up). She made a bizarre courtroom speech professing innocence before sentencing. It was so disgusting. What’s so curious to me is how these killers can appear normal. Wanting to kill someone is one thing. Doing it is another. I heard a couple of cases of women slowly poisoning their husbands with, I think it was, antifreeze. Heavens to Betsy! The agony! And their reasons were so petty. Of course, even if you had a good reason for wanting someone dead, it’s another thing altogether to go and do it. ETA I was saying a few times recently to friends how lucky I am to have found my wife. I’m 54 and she’s 35. We have two beautiful boys now. We have a loving marriage. And she doesn’t want to kill me! At least, not that I know of!
 
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Sinzalot

Starting to Get Obsessed
Oct 22, 2022
230
2,517
Wales
... ETA I was saying a few times recently to friends how lucky I am to have found my wife. I’m 54 and she’s 35. We have two beautiful boys now. We have a loving marriage. And she doesn’t want to kill me! At least, not that I know of!
That's what they want you to think...how ya feeling lately? Is she digging any large holes in the garden? Or perhaps thinking of laying a new patio... :oops:
Just kidding...(or am I?) sounds like you've found a good non-murdering one... cheers! puffy
 

milk

Lifer
Sep 21, 2022
1,104
2,822
Japan
It’s more likely that you will kill your wife. US-Department of justice in 2010: “Females were most likely to be victims of domestic homicides (63.7%) and sex-related homicides (81.7%)”
That’s why the wife murderers are so curious. I get that men can be dangerous animals. I heard one about this military guy who pushed his wife out a window and try to claim it was suicide. He almost got away with it too. Awful.
That's what they want you to think...how ya feeling lately? Is she digging any large holes in the garden? Or perhaps thinking of laying a new patio... :oops:
Just kidding...(or am I?) sounds like you've found a good non-murdering one... cheers! puffy
She does like gardening!
 
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Grangerous

Lifer
Dec 8, 2020
3,454
14,286
East Coast USA
@Grangerous starts many of his sentences with that exact phrase...

Except when it comes to cooking, grocery shopping, sewing, and cleaning the house. No wonder the poor boy's hands shake and tremble when he loads his pipe when sitting on that up-turned Home Depot 'Homer' Bucket out in the garage!
View attachment 217508
"... and you forgot to pick-up my Dry Cleaning... AGAIN!!"

:ROFLMAO: - Sherm Natman
If you love an American girl, store your gun in a high kitchen cabinet. She might still get you, but at least you’ll hear her dragging the chair across the floor.

If you live across-the-pond and she comes at you with a knife in hand, pull out a jar of mayonnaise or vegimite — her female instincts will take over and she’ll make you a sammich.

As for you, Shermie. I’ll have you know that I own the last two words of every argument - “Yes, Dear.”
 

Pipeoff

Part of the Furniture Now
Jun 22, 2021
928
1,556
Western New York
Just breakdown and openly let her know that you have a severe case of Pad and Tad and it takes a long time to find a cure, but never tell what you payed for a pipe. This may ward off any evil that may come your way.
 
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Sam Gamgee

Part of the Furniture Now
Sep 24, 2022
649
1,696
50
DFW, Texas
My wife watches Dateline sometimes and I'll admit I occasionally get sucked in. The spousal murders are always the hardest to fathom. I mean, why not just leave?
 

milk

Lifer
Sep 21, 2022
1,104
2,822
Japan
My wife watches Dateline sometimes and I'll admit I occasionally get sucked in. The spousal murders are always the hardest to fathom. I mean, why not just leave?
Right? I get bored by the serial killers and really don’t want to hear about any crime involving kids. But people who kill their spouses? Sometimes there are serial spouse murderers: “we did some checking, and it turns out the first wife/husband died under mysterious circumstances as well…” whaaaat?? It really does still get my interest. I just can’t understand it.
Just breakdown and openly let her know that you have a severe case of Pad and Tad and it takes a long time to find a cure, but never tell what you payed for a pipe. This may ward off any evil that may come your way.
When I first got back into pipe smoking, my wife was somehow under the illusion that one only needed one pipe. Needless to say she was a bit surprised to notice one day that I had already acquired ten. I was like, Lucy, lemmi splain this to you…knock on wood I’m still here.
 

milk

Lifer
Sep 21, 2022
1,104
2,822
Japan
one of the honest ones is from Japan.Well a serial type killer. The twitter killer. He admitted it…
Japan is a truly odd place. Ever hear about the Japanese cannibal killer who did his awful deed in France to a French woman, was deported back to Japan, released after two years, wrote restaurant reviews and became a celebrity? You can’t make this stuff up! I won’t link to the Wikipedia. It’s awful but easy to find the entry.
 

shermnatman

Lifer
Jan 25, 2019
1,030
4,869
Philadelphia Suburbs, Pennsylvania
My wife watches Dateline sometimes and I'll admit I occasionally get sucked in. The spousal murders are always the hardest to fathom. I mean, why not just leave?

"JUST LEAVE" ?!?!?!

Where's the sport in THAT ?

Goldin_Buzzsaw.jpeg


Employ a little imagination and ingenuity, my friend... and use those big old Samsonite suitcases to store something in other than your clothes! :ROFLMAO:

- Sherm '
The Burly Breath Butcher' Natman
 
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ashdigger

Lifer
Jul 30, 2016
11,392
70,232
61
Vegas Baby!!!
The things humans do or are capable of doing to each other, especially “loved ones” is incalculable.

I’ve seen it. Not a good look.
 
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shermnatman

Lifer
Jan 25, 2019
1,030
4,869
Philadelphia Suburbs, Pennsylvania
As for you, Shermie. I’ll have you know that I own the last two words of every argument - “Yes, Dear.”

I don't need a Crystal Ball to see your Domestic Situation oh so clearly :ROFLMAO:
stella.jpeg
"You're bucking for another Time-Out in the garage sitting on that Home Depot bucket,... and NO pipe, Mr "Grangerous" !!!"

- Sherm '20/20' Natman