The Best Black Beans You'll Ever Eat

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georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
3,846
6,073
More "assembly instructions" than a recipe, but there you go. Dead simple & foolproof:

Into a large (8 qt) Dutch oven/stock pot type vessel:

--- one gallon water
--- 2 lbs washed black beans
--- 2 baseball-sized onions peeled and cut into 3/4"-ish chunks
--- 1 tsp whole cumin seeds
--- 1 tsp coarse black pepper
--- a solid splash of some form of oil (required to release oil soluble flavor compounds)
--- 10 dried red Thai-style chiles (count them going in... it's important)

Thoroughly stir, bring to a boil, then reduce to a gentle boil, cover, and start testing for doneness after 2.5 to 3 hours.

Do not stir during cooking.

When beans are tender but not mushy, use tongs to remove all 10 chilies. Throw away 9 of them, and put the 10th one into an immersion-wand blender's cylinder/container thingie along with 4 tsp salt, all the onion pieces you can reasonably retrieve with a ladle, a ladle's worth of beans, and fill to near the top with cooking liquid/broth.

Blend everything until completely smooth---think of it as gravy---and pour back into the pot.

Stir thoroughly.

NOTE: one chile doesn't add heat, just a bit of dimension/character. More WILL add something that's perceived as heat, which will wreck the batch. While served with spicy-hot food, beans themselves should not be hot. Doing so is like putting cayenne pepper on peach pie or similar. Yuck.

Wait to eat until kept overnight in the fridge. Two or three days is better. The flavor will develop every day, linearly, until the beans finally go bad (I've never had a batch go uneaten long enough for that happen but it must eventually, right?).

Serve either as-is, or ladle into a non-stick skillet and smush---do not blend---to desired smoothness. Anywhere from a "rustic crush" to butter-smooth, whatever floats your boat.

True: If I was a multi-billionaire and could afford to eat the world's rarest and most expensive delicacies every day prepped by a private chef, I would still eat these beans regularly. Cost? About three bucks a pot.


PS ---El Yucateco black sauce was MADE for these beans. :)



Screen Shot 2022-10-02 at 1.26.27 PM.png
Screen Shot 2022-10-02 at 1.44.45 PM.png
 

georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
3,846
6,073
Would this work with pinto beans instead?

I wondered the same thing myself so gave it a whirl maybe five years ago.

Nothing wrong with pintos, I decided, just a bit "flatter" tasting.

It wasn't a big difference, but enough that I stuck with the black ever since.

------------

Oh yeah, for you guys who have access to legit lard---meaning leaf lard, not the processed brick stuff---a good whack of that into the pot at the start of cooking is extra nice. Adds both texture and flavor.

I didn't mention it before because it's spendy + a lot of folks avoid fat as much as possible.
 

elessar

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 24, 2019
636
1,276
In have screnshoted (is that a word?) this with the intent of making it very soon. Sounds delicious! Now the wife will protest me eating 2 lbs of beans so that may cause a temporary rift. Hell, the dog may even stay away. Oh who are we kidding, he is pretty indescriminent on what he sniffs/licks. In any case, I very much look forward to making this and coming up with creative ways to blame others at work for certain errant odors.
 

elessar

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 24, 2019
636
1,276
And I love hot sauce, probably due to my Louisiana roots. I will definitely be looking for that black label reserve georged mentioned. Looked it up online and it sounds terrific.
 

georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
3,846
6,073
And I love hot sauce, probably due to my Louisiana roots. I will definitely be looking for that black label reserve georged mentioned. Looked it up online and it sounds terrific.

It's really different and distinctive. Tastes like nothing else. Definitely has some heat but is nowhere near killer hot. Just smoky-tangy with a nice edge.

If you like runny-yolk fried eggs, pour a silver-dollar-sized puddle of it next to 'em on the plate, and touch the tines of your fork in it before each bite. Then have some lightly toasted bread or tortillas handy to mop up everything up with.

Again, if i was a billionare I'd still eat that ^^^^ regularly.


PS --- I have a Wal-Mart groceries-only store nearby, and they carry it for half the price of online.
 

Puff nstuff

Starting to Get Obsessed
Dec 2, 2021
121
601
Inland Southern California
I have basically two black bean recipes that I use, and we eat a lot of them. The ones we eat the most are a frijoles de olla type cooked with lard, a bit of onion, some garlic, and an herb called epazote that is from southern Mexico. They can later be fried in olive oil to make killer black refried beans. The other recipe is a Cuban style that uses diced bacon, onions and celery, ample cumin, and a bit of heat from a chopped jalapeño or Serrano chile; they get a splash of sherry vinegar at serving time. These go really well with grilled or roasted pork loin.
I love me some black beans!
 

elessar

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 24, 2019
636
1,276
It's really different and distinctive. Tastes like nothing else. Definitely has some heat but is nowhere near killer hot. Just smoky-tangy with a nice edge.

If you like runny-yolk fried eggs, pour a silver-dollar-sized puddle of it next to 'em on the plate, and touch the tines of your fork in it before each bite. Then have some lightly toasted bread or tortillas handy to mop up everything up with.

Again, if i was a billionare I'd still eat that ^^^^ regularly.


PS --- I have a Wal-Mart groceries-only store nearby, and they carry it for half the price of online.
Oh I'm in. Hot sauce with eggs is the best!
 
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mingc

Lifer
Jun 20, 2019
3,154
7,620
The Big Rock Candy Mountain
ultra.jpg

(What I wished I had before my last misadventure with undercooked garbanzo beans/falafels).
 

HawkeyeLinus

Lifer
Oct 16, 2020
2,540
16,017
Iowa
More "assembly instructions" than a recipe, but there you go. Dead simple & foolproof:

Into a large (8 qt) Dutch oven/stock pot type vessel:

--- one gallon water
--- 2 lbs washed black beans
--- 2 baseball-sized onions peeled and cut into 3/4"-ish chunks
--- 1 tsp whole cumin seeds
--- 1 tsp coarse black pepper
--- a solid splash of some form of oil (required to release oil soluble flavor compounds)
--- 10 dried red Thai-style chiles (count them going in... it's important)

Thoroughly stir, bring to a boil, then reduce to a gentle boil, cover, and start testing for doneness after 2.5 to 3 hours.

Do not stir during cooking.

When beans are tender but not mushy, use tongs to remove all 10 chilies. Throw away 9 of them, and put the 10th one into an immersion-wand blender's cylinder/container thingie along with 4 tsp salt, all the onion pieces you can reasonably retrieve with a ladle, a ladle's worth of beans, and fill to near the top with cooking liquid/broth.

Blend everything until completely smooth---think of it as gravy---and pour back into the pot.

Stir thoroughly.

NOTE: one chile doesn't add heat, just a bit of dimension/character. More WILL add something that's perceived as heat, which will wreck the batch. While served with spicy-hot food, beans themselves should not be hot. Doing so is like putting cayenne pepper on peach pie or similar. Yuck.

Wait to eat until kept overnight in the fridge. Two or three days is better. The flavor will develop every day, linearly, until the beans finally go bad (I've never had a batch go uneaten long enough for that happen but it must eventually, right?).

Serve either as-is, or ladle into a non-stick skillet and smush---do not blend---to desired smoothness. Anywhere from a "rustic crush" to butter-smooth, whatever floats your boat.

True: If I was a multi-billionaire and could afford to eat the world's rarest and most expensive delicacies every day prepped by a private chef, I would still eat these beans regularly. Cost? About three bucks a pot.


PS ---El Yucateco black sauce was MADE for these beans. :)



View attachment 172482
View attachment 172488
Onions white or yellow?
 

cigrmaster

Lifer
May 26, 2012
20,256
57,153
64
Sarasota Florida
George, obviously you have never eaten a Big Mac or a Filet O Fish sandwich from McDonalds.
The amount of r&d that went into to perfect these gourmet treats was staggering.
The best part is I don't have to get have to get out of my car and do all the work you did just for some beans

I will say I had some killer black beans in Cuba and other islands.
 
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cigrmaster

Lifer
May 26, 2012
20,256
57,153
64
Sarasota Florida
Cos, when they first came out I was just a kid and we thought we had gone to heaven. No one had fries like that. Of course the Chocolate shapes were a must as well.

Sorry for the highjack George. My favorite black beans were in some hole in the wall in Cuba. I also had some great ones in Jamaica, the Bahamas and others I am forgetting. Something about the islands made killer black beans and rice.
 

agnosticpipe

Lifer
Nov 3, 2013
3,078
2,162
In the sticks in Mississippi
My wife loved black beans and used to make them quite often. I miss them but don't remember how she made them. I'll have to try your recipe and just scale the amount down as I don't know how long it would take me to eat that much!
By the way, I'm really enjoying your recent posts, keep it up.
 
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