Ha! I bet ya'll thought you finally got rid of me! Nope! Well, here's my story, and I'm sticking to it.... So a while back I was minding my own business, having a wonderful bowl of Balkan Blue in one of the Nordings, and enjoying a beautiful day, when a bright flash caught my eye and a portal to another world opened up right in front of me! Well, I nearly dropped my pipe in surprise as my bottom jaw nearly bounced off my toes from the shock of such a sight. But you see, that's not even the half of it! No sooner did I catch my pipe, without spilling any tobacco I might add, that half a dozen armed and armored folk with pointy ears and pointy-er swords accosted me, surrounded me, and forced me back into the portal with them! Yes, my pipey friends, I was abducted by elves! For a moment I was able to break free but when I turned back toward the portal it had already disappeared. I was flabbergasted! I choose the word flabbergasted because it's just fun to say, but seriously, I was quite shocked! And angry.... a little upset.... somewhat perturbed.... ok, I was scared to death and shaking in my boots! "Who are you? What do you want?" I demanded...er... I squealed like a frightened school girl. "Where am I???" You know, all the obvious questions. Anyway, to try and make a long story short, it was prophesied by some ancient elfish wizard king guy that when things got really ugly in their kingdom that they should seek out some weirdo who would save them all from some terrible evil. Turns out I was that weirdo. The story involves a few drunken tavern brawls in which a fair maiden or two might have been the cause, a trip to a dungeon or two in which a fair maiden or two might have been the cause, a very upset king or two in which another fair maiden or two might have been the cause, and at least one occasion when I was hopping around in the snow in my undies making monkey sounds and singing Supercalifragelisticexpiallidocious on which a fair maiden or two might have been the cause.... that last one was kind of fun, I might add. Needless to say, eventually things got real, and I had to slay a dragon, an evil wizard, and escape a fair maiden or two! But the kingdom was saved, the elven people were overjoyed, and I somehow survived the whole thing and was eventually given a hero's goodbye and returned home... quite forcibly actually. But I was rewarded with 100 tins of unopened Frog Morton Cellar, and another 100 tins of Balkan Blue. Oh...... and I also had some serious computer issues that were keeping me from being able to go online and tell you all about it. But the computer's finally fixed and I'm finally able to tell you all about how I saved an elven kingdom in another dimension. Yay for me! 
I did miss all of you, though. And this is actually my first time posting since the new version of the site launched. Looks great! It might take some getting used to as far as navigating, but that's how it always goes on a new forum. I hope you've all been well.
I did miss all of you, though. And this is actually my first time posting since the new version of the site launched. Looks great! It might take some getting used to as far as navigating, but that's how it always goes on a new forum. I hope you've all been well.
