Quotes from the Kids...

[workman]

My 6 year old daughter put her hands together one evening in bed, looked up at God:
Hey you, why don't I get everything I wish for, are you out of money or what?
Amen.
Then she went to sleep.

I worked in a kindergarten when I was younger. It was a rural area and the kids were familiar with animals and farming. At one point I overheard a group of kids discussing where foals might come from. It was fairly obvious to most of them that they came out of a mare, but how did they get in there in the first place?
It was such a funny and quite philosophical conversation and none of the adults interrupted them. In the end they settled on the consensus that there must be tiny horses running around in the grass that then get eaten and after growing for a while get shat out again as foals.

 

[mortonbriar]

I used the jaws theme song in association with the nail clippers, and N turned to me and said very seriously ‘That’s inappropriate Papa’.

 

[Streeper541]

My kids usually say things like;

"Please stop telling dad jokes."

"You just don't understand. "

"Is this gonna be another Jesus story?"

"You could just go down to the basement and smoke your pipe and let mom help me."

and my personal favorite,

"Why can't you be normal like other dads?"

 

[jaytex1969]

....my son gently pushed the muzzle aside and towards the ground and told the friend "Do you mind not pointing that muzzle at me?

 

[HawkeyeLinus]

There is a good grocery chain in Iowa called Fareway. My wife buys groceries there almost exclusively so our oldest daughter when little, spent a lot of time going to Fareway.

One Friday evening when she was 3 or 4 the wife and I were out golfing and had her along and riding in the cart.

At some point my wife hits a ball down the middle.

Our daughter, "Mommy, way to go you're in the Walmart!" (Think about it, we had to, lol).

Another golf related was at the age of 3 or 4 she would get to putt with her foam ball and plastic putter. I'd have her throw down a ball on the green when she was out with us and her score would be whatever she got because, of course, we were keeping a score so she wanted to, lol.

One evening, I tossed her ball down and she went and picked it up, ran to the hole, put it in the hole and declared, "Hole in zero!" Haha - she's always been competitive!

Last one, because these stories bring tears to my eyes in a good way . . .

At some point in elementary school she brought up the notion of having an allowance. So I made up a list of the household tasks she would need to help with every week to earn "x" (keep room picked up, help Mommy when she asks, dust the living room, whatever). Apparently the list was a little much and she looked right at me and said, "Daddy I don't really need an allowance, you and Mommy get me whatever I want."

 

[anotherbob]

We were eating at a Mexican restaurant and hadn’t ordered yet with my 14 and 16 yr old daughters.

waitress- would you like more chips and queso?

16 yr old- hell no! No more chips and cheese, I’m ordering the nachos please though?

only a dad could find that not the most sensible use of their money

 

[elessar]

On the way to daycare the other day a squirrel ran in front of our truck. Dont worry, we didn't hit it. But when we arrived, my 4 yr old proudly announced (in front of all the other parents), "we should catch that squirrel and eat the squirrel meat!"

I just kind of demurred, you know innocent smile and all that.

Then my son shouts at the top of his lungs, "But we won't eat the nuts!!!"

Well the looks I got were, well, unkind. You see my son thinks that all squirrels have, at all times, their cheeks full of nuts. And he did not want to eat THOSE nuts. But none the less I imagine I am on a list of some kind now...

 

[kurtbob]

only a dad could find that not the most sensible use of their money

So true sir.

 

[anotherbob]

On the way to daycare the other day a squirrel ran in front of our truck. Dont worry, we didn't hit it. But when we arrived, my 4 yr old proudly announced (in front of all the other parents), "we should catch that squirrel and eat the squirrel meat!"

I just kind of demurred, you know innocent smile and all that.

Then my son shouts at the top of his lungs, "But we won't eat the nuts!!!"

Well the looks I got were, well, unkind. You see my son thinks that all squirrels have, at all times, their cheeks full of nuts. And he did not want to eat THOSE nuts. But none the less I imagine I am on a list of some kind now...

and people used to tell me I should have kids. That kids are great.

 

[BryLogan]

My mother was in her kitchen making a sandwich for lunch when my 6 y/o wandered in. “ Andy” she said, “would you like some liverwurst?”. He scrunched up his face and replied “I don’t like liver so I sure don’t want any if it’s worst,”