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saltedplug

Lifer
Aug 20, 2013
5,194
5,097
I received my stimulus check from Publisher's Clearing House for $10,000.00 today. I knew it was en route so I had been thinking what to spend it on, and in a flash of inspiration I thought pipes! Yes pipes! Especially those cheesy, and even cheesier! Those of the flatulent and gruesomely corpulent Great Danes; and in this regard let us not forget the work of Mr. Chonowitsch. But achhh!! What's this? His pipe at a trifling $1,300.00? Surely it could sell for more. Such depravity! I'd call the retailer and register my complaint but don't want to be disregarded as another doltish Flatbush knave.

The wife was a tad upset that I'd spent the money to the last dime. She had envisioned an ocean of knick-knacks that would have swarmed us out of our living room and onto the lawn. She came at me with a bbq fork and spatula, and I joined battle with dual churchwardens. But hating blood I ran away, cheating the local ED; and stifling a chortle over my impending fancification by some of the very best flack exploding within pipedom.
 
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saltedplug

Lifer
Aug 20, 2013
5,194
5,097
The more I look at your Herman, the more I like it. Like the "Far Side" the characters are all fat and ugly, and at first you think distortion, but then you realize that people are none too beautiful, that the only slender people are the young. Then the new coat that just happens to be zebra-striped, and then the destination the Lion Safari Park.

A lot of elements that you have to find yourself.