Need to Clear the Air on Something

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matchstickman

Preferred Member
Jul 15, 2011
2,351
0
So anyone who reads this forum with any regularity will probably notice that I don't post a lot lately. In fact, over the course of the last few months I have quit coming here entirely due to something that has really been bothering me. Now before I relate the details, don't take this as one of those "Oh my gosh I hate all of you and hate this place and screw all of you guys because you all suck and I'm leaving and never coming back threads." This is not one of those at all. We have a fine group of people on this forum and a few have become close friends and I still think this is a good place to come for advice and to chat about our hobby. However, I need to clear the air on this so everyone knows the truth and is aware of the situation.
Some months ago, out of the blue, I had received a private message from a member. I won't name names, but this person knows who they are. I am assuming the private message was sent in regards to a tobacco trade that we had started to arrange but could not agree on the terms, but we canceled the deal on good terms and everything seemed fine. Several months went by and I heard nary a word from this individual, until I received said Private Message. The PM in question was incredibly hurtful, threatening, and at one point the lives of me and my loved ones was threatened. I contacted Kevin and told him about the PM I received. His response was to contact Lawrence and let him handle the situation. The next day, said member was booted from the forums, which I was OK with. The situation seemed to be pretty well under control, and I thought nothing of it.
Fast forward to a few months after that, I saw the the forum member who had sent the hateful message had been allowed to return. When I asked about this (I won't mention who I talked to), I was basically just told, "Well we're giving this person a second chance and keeping a really close eye on them." I was not happy with that answer, and was not happy that said person was allowed to return after making such hateful comments, and I frequented the forum less and less, because I felt that my safety and respect for my well being was just kind of brushed off with "Well things happen. Too bad I guess." (This is not what was actually said, but just a generalization of how I felt the situation was handled.
Take what you will from this, but I do not feel that this is right. I just feel that everyone should know that hateful and hurtful comments and threats were made, and the guilty party basically got a few months "forum probation" and then was allowed to return pretty much consequence free. The member in question has not attempted to contact me via PM, but the situation still makes me feel a little uncomfortable knowing that people can make threats and say hurtful things and still be allowed to post on the forums. And for the record, I took a screenshot of said message. I didn't want to post it out in the open but I will post a link where anyone interested can look at what was said. I am not doing this to cause drama or insinuating that I am going to leave the forum, but I wanted everyone else's take on it. Here is the link to the PM screenshot (warning: it is pretty graphic and hateful).
Threatening Private Message

 

captainsousie

Preferred Member
Aug 1, 2012
2,756
420
Wow...I honestly...wow. I can't believe someone like that would be allowed back. You're a good guy from what I've seen and I don't think you deserve to have to watch a guy like that stay around. I hope Kevin will be willing to explain why something like that was allowed to stand. Worrisome.

 

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lordape

Junior Member
Aug 8, 2013
60
0
Interesting. Perhaps I've just spent too much time on the internet, but that wouldn't bother me all that much. Don't get me wrong, the guy who sent the message deserves to be removed from the forums and not allowed back, absolutely. People throwing around threats on the internet. It's never going to go anywhere so why worry?

 

dcrguns

Preferred Member
Aug 19, 2013
690
0
IMHO you are completely correct. I don't think I would have been as civil as you.

 

misterlowercase

Preferred Member
May 31, 2012
4,296
9
Yay!
Another safe topic!
I say fuck that guy!

He's an obvious dumbass scumsucker from his pm.
Pipe Novelist,

I've greatly enjoyed your posts here, indeed, your lush fertile writing style has something of a rare quality and it adds greatly to the forum. I would hope to see you continue on in the face of this stupidity and keep contributing. Don't let this cro-mag spoil it for you, don't let his hairy knuckles knock the Hemingway outta you!
I will add my support in saying that the sent pm is a vile transgression of proper etiquette and the offending member should be banned again , plain 'n simple. That sort of ruffian posturing certainly has no place amongst us PMbrothers and the involved dimwit should be ashamed of his gangster behaviour.

 

petes03

Preferred Member
Jun 23, 2013
5,529
1,693
Wow! I would not have been as civil as you! I completely agree, this person should be exiled.

 

dervis

Preferred Member
Jan 30, 2012
1,597
0
Hazel Green AL
That should never happen, if it does happen should not be overlooked. I think it is a good thing to have put this out to the community.

 

teufelhund

Preferred Member
Mar 5, 2013
1,499
0
St. Louis, MO
Just... Wow... Really over a bit of tobacco. There are ways to express disappointment and that is not an appropriate one. I've always thought that even when things got a little heated around here there was a general consensus to be a gentleman or lady first and foremost. Sadly this kind of thing does seem to happen on the internet too often. All I can say is that this statement made in person is grounds for a lot more than forum banishment and I hope they have matured enough to send you a formal apology and would have been a stipulation of their participation on the site if it were up to me.

 

daveinlax

Preferred Member
May 5, 2009
1,191
306
WISCONSIN
Sorry it happened but don't let some faceless dope staring into a screen run you off. People take boards and their "friendships" way to seriously. A fact life of the boards are people come and people go. It's NBD. This board seems to have an average turnover. 8O
P.S. I'd out him

 

bigvan

Preferred Member
Mar 22, 2011
2,193
1
I had a similar experience, I'm afraid. Not NEARLY to the point of yours, Novel, but a current member bragged about beating his dog with a log he'd tried carving into a pipe. I brought it to the attention of a mod, the post was removed and I was told they'd keep an eye on him.
Whether or not these people (I refuse to call them "men") mind their manners from now on is irrelevant. Their behavior is unacceptable (especially in the case of your antagonist, Novel) and we're better off without them.

 

05venturer

Preferred Member
Nov 25, 2012
1,623
0
Amery,WI
Thanks for bringing this to the attention of the rest of the forum members Pipe Novelist.

Just saying if I was in your place I would be upset with the way this was handled also. I personally would post the name of the forum member to get them out of hiding so the rest of us know what a POS he or she is.

I am sure they are reading this and if they had any morals at all would speak up and remove themselves from the forum, if not they should be removed.

Just my 2 cents

 

taerin

Preferred Member
May 22, 2012
1,851
0
You have showed amazing restraint in not pointing this person out, however they do not deserve to be here and if they are still here, they should be booted immediately. There's no way someone just "reforms" after sending something that hurtful and threatening, sorry but it just doesn't happen! I'm frankly amazed the mods let them back in, that wasn't just a bad decision, it was the ramblings of someone very disturbed. I say let him come and find me, I will show him the pointy end of his worst nightmare.

 

matchstickman

Preferred Member
Jul 15, 2011
2,351
0
This thread has been much better received than I thought it would be. Thanks to everyone for their support.
For the record, the reason that I have not disclosed the name of said individual at this time is that I am still hoping that something can be done to correct this. If action is taken, then it won't matter who it is. However, if no action is taken or the situation isn't made right, then it would be worth it for either a mod or myself to post who it is so that the person can be avoided. I didn't want to come out and openly say any names until the facts were known and the mods and/or Kevin had a chance to respond.
As for the OP, I feel I should clarify one thing: I don't feel as though my ACTUAL well being and safety were threatened in any immediate way, and fear was not the reason I avoided the forums. The way that the situation was handled left a bad taste in my mouth and just chose to stay away from the constant reminder of the things that went on behind closed doors, so to speak. Anyway, thanks again to everyone for their support. Still interested in hearing what a mod has to say about all this.

 

cigrmaster

Preferred Member
May 26, 2012
15,163
11,190
United States
That kind of pm should never be allowed and the person who sent it should be banned in my opinion. Who is to say that now the buy/sell/trade room is open again, he will not pull this kind of crap on someone else. I also think you should out this person.

 

cigrmaster

Preferred Member
May 26, 2012
15,163
11,190
United States
That kind of pm should never be allowed and the person who sent it should be banned in my opinion. Who is to say that now the buy/sell/trade room is open again, he will not pull this kind of crap on someone else. I also think you should out this person.

 

timely

Preferred Member
Jan 23, 2012
765
1
Pipe Novelist, in all the time I have been a member here I have found your posts

informative, and enjoyable. I am so sorry that this has happened to you.

You should out the person so others know who to avoid.

 

anthonyrosenthal74

Preferred Member
Jan 8, 2013
7,489
684
I agree he should be outed... the members need to know who he is. I say let it play out for now and see if the mods will speak up about it or not. If not, just put his name out.
I say let him come and find me, I will show him the pointy end of his worst nightmare.
it seems you and I think a lot alike, Eric.

 

pylorns

Preferred Member
Aug 20, 2013
1,973
32
Austin
The internet brings out the trolls. I have run several forums - and its pretty standard to ban for said period of time etc. Thick skin helps. Seriously the guy who PM'd you after I saw that.. and the bad grammar all I could think of was this:


But what he really is...



 
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