My Wife Wishes I Never Joined This Site

[ithelouniverse]

Because now I like to discuss my farts in terms of room note...

 

[ghost]

I just call them "Mixture 79"...

 

[rockymtnsmoker]

Sadly, my missus thinks farts and tobacco have similar room notes so the pipes are banished to the great outdoors. I blame my actual farts on our flatulent bulldog so I get to spend my non-pipe time indoors ::

 

[12pups]

My wife gives up her nose-clogging incense fetish, I will consider smoking elsewhere. But she raises a match to one of those stinky twigs, my pipe in hand rises simultaneously, threateningly, in synchronized reflection.
Go ahead. Dare you.
(If this ever actually happens, the neighbor's will see the billowing smoke rolling out the windows and call the fire department).

 

[12pups]

PS:
When I come here, she tells people on the phone I'm wrapped up my pipe porn. Again. ... or still.

 

[brudnod]

There is a commercial on TV selling God knows what (nice marketing that I can't tell you what they are selling!) where the punch line is this strong black woman is giving her husband "the look" after he accuses her of not having a "look". That is EXACTLY the look my wife gives me when she sees I am on this site, among others. Its the same look she gives me when I come in from the out of doors after smoking my pipe. Its all about the "look"...

Spencer

 

[warren]

Further proof that only Mel Brooks could really pull off gastric humor. Listen to your wife!

 

[ithelouniverse]

Maybe we should all just be relegated to the backyard due to our level of foulness

 

[warren]

Hardly! Do not take it so personally. But, as far as I've known, only Mel Brooks has pulled off flatulence humor and received universal acclaim.

 

[ithelouniverse]

Oh I know, no offense was taken at all! I knew right where you were coming from...

I was just speaking generally! Between farts and pipes it's a wonder we are allowed inside in the first place...

 

[andystewart]

In our house it's the wife who farts I never complain as I'm always in the conservatory smoking. Perfect balance!
Andy

 

[sabuj12]

:D 8O ha nice comic .cigar smoke or farts .seen and unseen .

 

[sparrowhawk]

You guys continue to make me happy I'm not married . . .

 

[plateauguy]

It's dog farts at our house - Gracie can clear a room in 2 seconds, then she has the couch to herself. I'd be afraid to light a match in the same room.

 

[sparrowhawk]

Nothing related to pipes, but my favorite dog, Suzie, used to run for the basement the moment I reached for my guitar. Suffice it to say, I don't play anymore, although it's questionable if I could play at all.

 

[12pups]

Whenever Mrs. Kissel breaks wind, we beat the dog.

10

 

[voorhees]

I get the "interested, but not really" look when I talk about pipes too much. Especially after a pipe show or gathering. I tend to go on a bit.

Oh well.

 

[allan]

When my wife asks what I'm doing and I tell her I'm on the forum , I get that 'look'. But really...I mean I don't think I give her the look when she's looking at shoes or handbags or scarves or or or or...

 

[aquilas]

All the "stuff" that occupies our fireplace mantle from end to end, yeah, my girlfriend thanks the forums for that.