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jwlinder111

Lurker
Aug 13, 2016
17
0
I know this has absolutely nothing to do with pipes or anything else for that matter I just don't know where else to reach to I tried calling a close family friend I tried calling a concern hotline and both told me to call back later they were both busy so I come here. I am so sick with life anymore I don't know what to do anymore my relationship is failing I've been out of work for nine weeks and am so behind I'm bout to lose everything I'm a terrible father I literally don't know what else to do my girl knows I am not happy with some things but knows not that I just want to kill my self I litter ally just can't do it I don't know where I've gone so wrong in my life yes I haven't been the best man but I do understand why everything had to go this way I'm so stressed out with bills and my girls mom and her baby daddy with court and bills and everything I just can't do it anymore and don't know what will fix it. I'm sorry for bringing this onto y'all I just know not where to turn for any help

 

dottiewarden

Lifer
Mar 25, 2014
3,053
57
Toronto
Unfortunately this is not a problem unique to you. At some point we all have or will experience tragedy. I can understand for your current perspective it looks like a life or death situation, however you are in too deep to have a clear view of the panorama. Yes, you are in a living hell, that much is true, but DO NOT buy into your own negativity - It is a lie. Things are never as bad as they seem in the moment. Let time heal your wounds.
You pipe may even help you reflect some. But life is never all or nothing, it is always somewhere in between.
Take my advice, I'm not using it!

 

randelli

Part of the Furniture Now
Nov 21, 2015
914
5
Life does have a way of doing that from time to time. Prayer or meditation is good. Nothing beats a good cry. A long walk will help free your mind from running in circles. I hope things get better for you soon.

 

jefff

Lifer
May 28, 2015
1,915
6
Chicago
You are just going to have to do what people have always done...dig deep and keep on keeping on.
Life sometimes blows, you can quit or not.
It is , and always has been your choice, even when you did;t know you were making choices.
You can;t change the past, only the future, and how you react and deal with it.
And if this is a cry for help, you are in the wrong place. Call a hotline, call a friend, call the fire dept.
Get help.
Even at it darkest, life gets better, it can only get better.
Do me a favor and watch this video on you tube."A voice at the table"

 

zitotczito

Lifer
Aug 12, 2014
1,128
175
You are one of a kind in this world and you will never be repeated. You do not know what you will be in the future but you have to get there to find out. Life is tough at times, I lost my Finance prior to our marriage, lost jobs, in debt, it has all happened.
You take one thing at a time and deal with it. Don't look at everything as a whole, it becomes overwhelming. As they say it is always darkest before the dawn.

 

pagan

Lifer
May 6, 2016
5,963
28
West Texas
My GF always says things happen for a reason, just keep your daughter close and let her know you love her and take each day as it comes, together.

 

jwlinder111

Lurker
Aug 13, 2016
17
0
Everything I hold close I always fuck up everything I thought was great was shattered every move I feel will make it right only makes it wrong I'm at the edge don't know if I'll fall or jump

 

macaroon

Starting to Get Obsessed
Oct 2, 2015
279
96
Michigan
Even if you've already done so, please call someone who knows how to help you. I sincerely hope that you can, with help, lift yourself out of this place you're in. We all wish you the very best.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

 

pipedreamin

Starting to Get Obsessed
Feb 25, 2016
194
164
Ditto what coyote said! If you're that close to the edge, make use of that number!! Don't disappear on us, let us know how you are faring.

 

brudnod

Part of the Furniture Now
Aug 26, 2013
938
6
Great Falls, VA
There have been many good wishes here after your posting and they are well intended. But like some others have written, you sound pretty close to the edge; an edge that you should not go over. You need to talk to someone who is a professional in this area and can help you get your keel righted.
My father lost his business, his wife was sick, his son (not me) was hyperactive and he was desperate. Our pediatrician for my brother and I called out to him and he realized that he had love that he was not aware of. It made a difference.
Someone is dependent on you. Get help and get right so you can give back to them. Call the hotline. Now.

 

brudnod

Part of the Furniture Now
Aug 26, 2013
938
6
Great Falls, VA
...and when you get right, come back to us with you pipe and tobacco questions. It is amazing how supportive we can be by just sharing.

 

ravkesef

Lifer
Aug 10, 2010
2,912
9,179
81
Cheshire, CT
If you've been reading this thread, you noticed the posting: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 . That has to be your first step. There's no need to go further. Then get yourself some competent counseling to begin working on your life issues. Then come back and see us with pipe and tobacco issues--that's what we're here for.

 

best-stuff

Lurker
Apr 13, 2016
14
0
There is the old saying that goes "into each life some rain will fall" and man is that ever true. The longer you live the more likely for it to happen and when it does we have to remain steadfast knowing it will get better. It has to.
And for added incentive, please consider the devastation and heartache you would leave behind if you acted on this.
Solutions aren't always easy, but they are always there. Keep looking, it'll turn up
Best to you, bud.
brian

 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,433
The hotline mentioned is an important contact for you. Someone you can talk to face-to-face (counselor, minister, priest, rabbi, imam) who will help you unravel your feelings. One of my favorite quotes from the old author of Western genre fiction, Louis L'Amour, paraphrased because I cannot find the exact quote:
"There will come a time when you feel everything is over. That will be the beginning."

 

andrew

Lifer
Feb 13, 2013
3,042
400
Go see a doctor, you should be on some anti-depressents, he'll refer you to a psychiatrist, I've been in the same situation, you probably have a chemical imbalance and you'll need some anti-depressents to correct it. They've made some great progress in treating depression, I went through it and have been in remission for a long time but I still take a low dose so I don't go back into it. Life isnt' always roses, it's a constant struggle, but go seek professional help. If it's that bad have someone commit you to a psych ward involuntarily through a form 5150, or voluntarily commit yourself, then if you aren't better in their opinion and you try to check yourself out they will form 5150 you and keep you there until you're better. Basically you'll get through it if you give it a chance, but it sounds like you need medication. You could also go into an emergency room and they'll have you committed if you meet the criteria. When the doctor or psychiatrist interviews you tell them you're suicidal and they pretty much have to commit you as they can be sued if you went there, told them you were suicidal and they let you leave.

 
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