OK. Stories... Many moons ago, I was preparing for a camping trip with my (at the time) girlfriend and her daughter (who after two weddings, which is a different story and probably not the one you just made up in you head, and an adoption later are now my wife and daughter) and found I couldn't fit those tiki torch things in the car without cutting some of the bamboo pole off. So, I got out my trusty Victorinox Swiss Army knife and began scoring the bamboo for the place I needed to cut.
My first clue that things were going to end messily should have been that I was scoring this bamboo in the near dark. The second clue was that that Victorinox wasn't the sharpest thing in the world although, it was, as you will see, much sharper than me.
So I started scoring but it was taking too long so I used more pressure and what happened? Yep! The bamboo came off and the blade went right into my left thumb. The only thing that stopped it from cleaving my thumb in half was my nail. I ran up to my wife's part of her Mom's house to the bathroom and immediately washed it off. She came to see where I had gone when she saw the splatters of blood going up the stairs to the bathroom. She drove me to the Emergency Room at the local hospital where a Doctor with spray-on hair proclaimed that it wasn't bad enough to need stitches, so he put a butterfly suture on it and sent me on my way. My Aunt saw it a week later and said I should've got stitches. Now my thumb is permanently deformed.
Lessons:
Don't cut in the dark or near dark.
Most important: Always keep your blade razor sharp.
-Jason
