In my never ceasing quest to taste new and exotic tobaccos, I decided to pick up a tin of Mac Baren HH Bold Kentucky to try.
A very wise and respected long time pipe smoker on this forum said, “that stuff will grow hair on your ass.”
Now here is a strange thing. At sixty-two years young, like the last ice-age, my hairline has been receding. Well, maybe it’s doing more than just recede. Maybe it’s more like chasing a slider between third and second with a runner hauling ass for home plate and another rounding second in the bottom of the ninth.
It is a cruel irony that while I have hair disappearing on my head it grows with rain forest profusion out of the strangest places.
Take my ears for example. Hair sprouts from my ears at astonishing speed. My attempts at keeping it at bay range from plucking, cutting, waxing, to the more desperate, paying for prayer cloths from EBay the seller claims will stop the hair growth in my ears if I sleep with the cloths tied around my ears at night.
So far all it has done is illicit snorts and very hurtful comments from my much better half, also known as my wife, the dragon lady, or the dreaded grandma person, depending on the particular situation, call me, “a stupid head.”
I’ve learned over the years never, ever, piss off the dreaded grandma person unless you plan on moving to Argentina within the half hour or so time it takes for her to get home and find out what you ummm, did.
I once decided to surprise her by painting the master bedroom which she had been talking about for some time. Actually, for quite some time.
She just doesn’t understand that painting, like hanging a picture, for example is not something you do quickly. These things take quality planning and time. Why, I remember the last time I hung a picture for her. If I remember correctly it took four and a half years of preparation and planning to put the three and a half inch ardox framing nail in the perfect spot on the wall and she was still upset.
Wives! I just don’t understand. Being color blind, I painted the master bedroom a beautiful soft and calming green. Naturally I was justifiably proud of myself for taking the initiative.
I thought I would go to down to man-cave and let my wife be surprised and delighted when she found it for herself.
I don’t quite know what happened in the first five minutes after she got home. I heard some angry screeching that very quickly escalated to shouts and threats and a lot of cuss words that made me blush, and there was blue smoke seeping beneath the edges of the door to my man-cave followed by a lot of pounding. Gawd, I am so glad I put a dead-bolt on that door. I’m just saying.
But I digress... Where was I? Oh yeah, the hair on my ass thing from the Bold Kentucky.
So I wanna know from all the old time smokers here who seem to have lush and full heads of hair, is there a secret tobacco that will instead of growing hair on my hindparts, grow it on my head?
That’s all, a simple question. There has to be a very simple solution and a singular tobacco that will stop the recession of my hair and bring it back. I know the answer is out there. Somewhere...
Chris in Red Deer, Alberta
A very wise and respected long time pipe smoker on this forum said, “that stuff will grow hair on your ass.”
Now here is a strange thing. At sixty-two years young, like the last ice-age, my hairline has been receding. Well, maybe it’s doing more than just recede. Maybe it’s more like chasing a slider between third and second with a runner hauling ass for home plate and another rounding second in the bottom of the ninth.
It is a cruel irony that while I have hair disappearing on my head it grows with rain forest profusion out of the strangest places.
Take my ears for example. Hair sprouts from my ears at astonishing speed. My attempts at keeping it at bay range from plucking, cutting, waxing, to the more desperate, paying for prayer cloths from EBay the seller claims will stop the hair growth in my ears if I sleep with the cloths tied around my ears at night.
So far all it has done is illicit snorts and very hurtful comments from my much better half, also known as my wife, the dragon lady, or the dreaded grandma person, depending on the particular situation, call me, “a stupid head.”
I’ve learned over the years never, ever, piss off the dreaded grandma person unless you plan on moving to Argentina within the half hour or so time it takes for her to get home and find out what you ummm, did.
I once decided to surprise her by painting the master bedroom which she had been talking about for some time. Actually, for quite some time.
She just doesn’t understand that painting, like hanging a picture, for example is not something you do quickly. These things take quality planning and time. Why, I remember the last time I hung a picture for her. If I remember correctly it took four and a half years of preparation and planning to put the three and a half inch ardox framing nail in the perfect spot on the wall and she was still upset.
Wives! I just don’t understand. Being color blind, I painted the master bedroom a beautiful soft and calming green. Naturally I was justifiably proud of myself for taking the initiative.
I thought I would go to down to man-cave and let my wife be surprised and delighted when she found it for herself.
I don’t quite know what happened in the first five minutes after she got home. I heard some angry screeching that very quickly escalated to shouts and threats and a lot of cuss words that made me blush, and there was blue smoke seeping beneath the edges of the door to my man-cave followed by a lot of pounding. Gawd, I am so glad I put a dead-bolt on that door. I’m just saying.
But I digress... Where was I? Oh yeah, the hair on my ass thing from the Bold Kentucky.
So I wanna know from all the old time smokers here who seem to have lush and full heads of hair, is there a secret tobacco that will instead of growing hair on my hindparts, grow it on my head?
That’s all, a simple question. There has to be a very simple solution and a singular tobacco that will stop the recession of my hair and bring it back. I know the answer is out there. Somewhere...
Chris in Red Deer, Alberta