I was Smoking at the Park When...

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jonahtke

Senior Member
Apr 26, 2012
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My wife and I took our son to the park yesterday morning. I sat on a bench enjoying my pipe when three geese came up out of the river and began approaching my boy (he's 3) honking and flapping their wings threateningly. I stepped between them and one of the geese lunged at me and grabbed ahold of my jeans. I slung him about a bit and finally convinced him to release my pants when I started to kick him. Long story short, I got bit by a goose yesterday.

 

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plateauguy

Preferred Member
Mar 19, 2013
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You were smoking in a public park ????!!!!! It would have been billy clubs, not geese in Washington.

 

jonahtke

Senior Member
Apr 26, 2012
315
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We were the only ones at the park at the time, I felt pretty safe. We have some pretty strict smoking ordinances, but surprisingly they all apply to indoor public locations, parks are allowed. That said I wouldn't force my pipe enjoyment on someone who found it distasteful.

 

quincy

Preferred Member
Feb 7, 2013
505
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Roth, where are you? I can't believe they can ban outside smoking! I went to Costa Rica awhile back and you could smoke everywhere but the airport. It was amazing. Of course, I remember when you could smoke everywhere in this country too. Geese... rats with wings...

 

quincy

Preferred Member
Feb 7, 2013
505
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Ugh... I really hate how people treat their cigarette trash... I didn't even think about THAT. I guess I would support it too if there were butts everywhere (from cigarettes, that is).

 

bobby46

Member
Feb 11, 2012
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Trained geese policing parks against smokers......I hope that municipality beta-test doesn't catch on.

 

peckinpahhombre

Preferred Member
Dec 24, 2012
7,130
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So . . . let me get this straight . . . you are saying that you were goosed in the park?
Goose
A verb, which means to grab someone between their butt cheeks and to squeeze, almost with an intent to hurt, although it is often done in a joking, playful manner between friends. The most common way to goose someone is with the fingers and thumb of one hand. The fingers grab from the bottom, and the thumb from the top. Then, in an upwards, and squeezing motion, you goose them. It is normally done while the "receiver" is wearing clothes, although there is no reason why it couldn't be done without clothes.
What the...oh man, I've just been goosed!
He goosed me so hard it bruised my anus!
The reason I have skid marks on my undies must be because I was goosed ealier today.
"Man, don't goose me again, okay?"

"Ah, c'mon, what's a little goossing between friends?"


 

4dotsasieni

Preferred Member
Jan 6, 2013
756
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You've all totally missed the point. Obviously, these geese were a marketing delegation from David Windsor Tobacco promoting their "Emperor Goose" blend. What a rude way for a pipe smoker to welcome well-meaning industry representatives! :nana: For details, see:
http://www.tobaccoreviews.com/blend_detail.cfm?ALPHA=E&TID=55

 

4dotsasieni

Preferred Member
Jan 6, 2013
756
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"David Windsor "Bufflehead" blends aren't available anymore, are they?"
Some folks think they've been re-branded and renamed and sold as part of the McClelland line. I recall that some thought all along that McClelland was producing these tobaccos anyway. Anyone else know?

 

4dotsasieni

Preferred Member
Jan 6, 2013
756
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I was smoking in the park one day,

in the merry, merry month of May,

when a gang of geese attacked,

but I bravely drove them back,

in the merry, merry month of May.
(Sorry, couldn't resist)

 

jonahtke

Senior Member
Apr 26, 2012
315
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Something like that...he grabbed the shin of my jeans and I was alternating between hopping on my right leg and trying to shake him off of my left, and just kicking him as hard as I could. Unfortunately my aerobics caused me to lose the contents of my pipe and I had to start all over again.

 

salewis

Senior Member
Jan 27, 2011
413
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I grew up in Venice, California along the canals. A few homeowners had "watch" geese in their small backyards. On more than one occasion I have been attached by these geese just walking down the sidewalk that was only a foot or so from the sidewalk. Geese can be ruthless!

 

pipesicle

Member
Jul 31, 2012
229
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S.E.Iowa
of course this whole discussion begs the question, "if an asp in the grass is a snake, then why is a grasp in the ass a goose?"
I just love philosophy!!! :rofl:

 

john218

Preferred Member
May 5, 2012
562
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Connecticut
Some of the distilleries in Scotland use geese instead of watchdogs.
I guess you found out why they use them the hard way!
Glad to hear you and your son are okay.

 

jonahtke

Senior Member
Apr 26, 2012
315
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Fortunately I work in city hall here and had a talk with the woman in charge of Animal services. She assured me that the geese would be removed from the park. It's good to be the IT guy, everybody wants to keep you happy.

 
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