Finding Solace In My Pipes And Tobacco.

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voorhees

Lifer
May 30, 2012
3,834
937
Gonadistan
For many years I've heard many a gentlemen here speak of finding solace with during a bowl. I personally have been at this for just over 8.5 years. Enjoying it, but never quite the way it was described. Guessing I needed more time.
After I lost my wife mid 2018, I continued to smoke, somewhat rather infrequently and tried my best to get my mind off of the events.
My smoking picked up and late nights when the bad feelings floated in, I would grab a pipe to work the mind and fingers rather than wringing my hands with despair.
I've made gains, some good, some selfish. But the pipe has been with me. Even take it with me whether I smoke it or not. Its there. At the ready.
So, I can say it's finally become the friend I always heard it could be. The community has been a great provider as well, but the times I'm at home alone, My pipes give me comfort or at least kept the mind distracted.
 

alaskanpiper

Enabler in Chief
May 23, 2019
9,348
42,247
Alaska
Sorry to hear about your wife. I cannot imagine how horrible that must have been. If it happened to me I'm not sure I would make through it. I am glad to hear the pipe gives you some respite. It certainly has a way of slowing down one's thought process and anxiety, at least for me. I hope it continues to be a good friend for you.
 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,433
voorhees, I too have lost a wife. Eventually, about ten years later, I remarried another wonderful person who had been a close friend, but not a partner, earlier in my life when we were in our teens and early twenties. You really have to take your own time with this. I can't remember the source, but a good quote is, death ends a life but never a relationship. Against my better judgement and after some months, I tried out a hospice group for people who had lost spouses. It really helped, not with specific advice, but with the opportunity to see this grieving process as universal and to actually help others, as they helped me. I'm not a joiner, very much an introvert, but was surprised to see this as the bridge over troubled waters. Later I took great solace in helping a colleague at work who had gone through 15 tortuous years seeing his wife to the end. He could come in my office, close the door, and cry. It was not a problem. I understood the whole deal (within my limits of course). No shame, no judgement. I had no idea I could do that. I had no idea I had that ... power. So hang on, consult the person you've lost. She taught you a whole lot to discover.
 

gervais

Lifer
Sep 4, 2019
2,078
6,973
39
Ontario
Sorry to hear about your wife. I cannot imagine how horrible that must have been. If it happened to me I'm not sure I would make through it. I am glad to hear the pipe gives you some respite. It certainly has a way of slowing down one's thought process and anxiety, at least for me. I hope it continues to be a good friend for you.
It helps me with this issue as well. Sorry to hear about your wife @voorhees. Life has it's share of hard times my friend. You are not alone.
 

gervais

Lifer
Sep 4, 2019
2,078
6,973
39
Ontario
I am only one of millions who is the antitheses of what you wrote. But, you knew I'd respond as I did.
You're right. Probably one of billions, for that matter. However, There are a few on here that truely do smoke a pipe more for the "life pause" than a nicotine addiction. I go weeks without picking up a pipe sometimes. The act of smoking a pipe is what I find relaxing. I lay back and relax with my pipe. I enjoy my process to get everything ready. I enjoy the flavours and the sight of smoke swirling around me. It truely is a form of meditation to me. I can't be the only one, I wouldn't think. I apologize if I'm getting the wrong vibe from your posts. I don't thing we are all nicotine dependant like you seem to believe. ?‍♂️ And no, I'm not in denial, lmao. I'll admit that I am addicted to morning coffee. Now that's something I cannot function normally without :ROFLMAO:
 

chopper

Lifer
Aug 24, 2019
1,480
3,317
You're right. Probably one of billions, for that matter. However, There are a few on here that truely do smoke a pipe more for the "life pause" than a nicotine addiction. I go weeks without picking up a pipe sometimes. The act of smoking a pipe is what I find relaxing. I lay back and relax with my pipe. I enjoy my process to get everything ready. I enjoy the flavours and the sight of smoke swirling around me. It truely is a form of meditation to me. I can't be the only one, I wouldn't think. I apologize if I'm getting the wrong vibe from your posts. I don't thing we are all nicotine dependant like you seem to believe. ?‍♂️ And no, I'm not in denial, lmao. I'll admit that I am addicted to morning coffee. Now that's something I cannot function normally without :ROFLMAO:
A pipe certainly is meditative for many , if not most of us.
Although I smoke several bowls a day, I choose blends that have mild nicotine so I can go hours without & not notice.

Yesterday was blisteringly hot at 46*C/115*F so I only had a couple of small bowls.
Today wasn't much better [a cool front is coming, thunder atm] so I've only had one bowl so far.
 
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Reactions: gervais

chopper

Lifer
Aug 24, 2019
1,480
3,317
For many years I've heard many a gentlemen here speak of finding solace with during a bowl. I personally have been at this for just over 8.5 years. Enjoying it, but never quite the way it was described. Guessing I needed more time.
After I lost my wife mid 2018, I continued to smoke, somewhat rather infrequently and tried my best to get my mind off of the events.
My smoking picked up and late nights when the bad feelings floated in, I would grab a pipe to work the mind and fingers rather than wringing my hands with despair.
I've made gains, some good, some selfish. But the pipe has been with me. Even take it with me whether I smoke it or not. Its there. At the ready.
So, I can say it's finally become the friend I always heard it could be. The community has been a great provider as well, but the times I'm at home alone, My pipes give me comfort or at least kept the mind distracted.
Sorry to hear mate. It's a tough time.
Your wife will be there when it's your time so you haven't 'lost' her. Send her your love, never your grief.

Take care & glad that you find comfort in a pipe. I know I do.
I've been alone for 20 years now. Recently I got a GSD rescue. He's a great companion.

Hope you're feeling better soon.
 
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Jack T

Starting to Get Obsessed
Oct 30, 2019
148
886
You're right. Probably one of billions, for that matter. However, There are a few on here that truely do smoke a pipe more for the "life pause" than a nicotine addiction. I go weeks without picking up a pipe sometimes. The act of smoking a pipe is what I find relaxing. I lay back and relax with my pipe. I enjoy my process to get everything ready. I enjoy the flavours and the sight of smoke swirling around me. It truely is a form of meditation to me. I can't be the only one, I wouldn't think. I apologize if I'm getting the wrong vibe from your posts. I don't thing we are all nicotine dependant like you seem to believe. ?‍♂️ And no, I'm not in denial, lmao. I'll admit that I am addicted to morning coffee. Now that's something I cannot function normally without :ROFLMAO:

I'm the same. I go months at a time without smoking. In fact, I do not smoke in the summers at all. I also find solace and contemplation in the swirls of smoke, the smells, and the warmth in my hand. I find it most helpful when I've had conflict with someone. As I smoke, I am reminded that all arguments are about ego and then I start to remember that few of them matter. The pipe is very helpful with bringing me back to that way of seeing things when I loose my path.
 

docrameous

Can't Leave
May 6, 2019
368
993
Colorado
I picked up the pipe last year right before all hell broke loose on multiple levels - deaths, family illness, conflict, etc. I didn’t see any of it coming, so we were shell shocked. Getting out onto the porch at times to smoke was deeply therapeutic as I tried to come to grips with all that was going on.

I was probably a prime candidate to become destructively addicted. I was aware of this, but the effect of the whole pipe experience of smoking (and learning to smoke) was so very helpful in my well being that I was willing to accept the risk.

Times are easier as that life storm is starting to settle. I am smoking less, but enjoying it even more. There are so many tobaccos I would like to try and of course emerging favorites of the small cast of tobaccos I have smoked so far. (I wished companies produced more samplers!)

Would I be sad if the regulatory environment killed off this wonderful past time? Absolutely, but life would go on. I would adapt and smoke whatever is in left in my ‘stash‘ (borrowing @mso489 ’s term for a cellar)

The thing is, I would probably wind up giving some of my stash away to people who find themselves in a place like the OP describes because I have been there in some measure and I am glad it was available at a challenging time of life.
 
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