Favorite Story from a Pipe Show

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winton

Preferred Member
Oct 20, 2010
2,211
353
Here is my favorite memory from all the pipe shows that I have been to.

It was a cold, rainy evening. I left the tent, and went in search of food. There was a wide hallway, but it was packed with the kids on their prom. Picture all the girls, having their Cinderella moment, with their boy friends, in tuxes. It was a beautiful situation, but I needed to get through the crowd. After considering the issue, 2 seconds, I announced:

"ATTENTION EVERYONE, I POSITIVELY REEK OF PIPE TOBACCO, AND I NEED TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS CROWD. SO, UNLESS YOU WANT TO SMELL LIKE ME, YOU NEED TO MAKE A PATH!."

I felt like Moses, parting the Red Sea.
 

krizzose

Preferred Member
Feb 13, 2013
1,771
4,724
Michigan
Speaking of reeking clothes and prom kids...

At the 2019 Chicago show my buddy and I were walking from the smoking tent to the hotel to change our reeking clothes before we went into St. Charles to get dinner. We were several beers deep at that point, so our plan was to call an uber.

Instead of trying to navigate the interior hallways, we just walked outside back to the hotel main entrance through the parking lot. We saw a beautiful 1960s something white Rolls Royce that two prom couples got out of and walked inside. The driver, in chauffeur's livery, was standing by the car. As a total joke, I said to him "hey....how about $20 bucks to drive us to town in the Rolls?" To my astonishment, he said "$20 bucks each, sure!" My buddy looked at each other and then I said, "Are you serious? Give us 20 minutes!"

When we got back after changing, I was actually surprised that he was still there, but he had been serious. The beers helped stifle any thoughts of being kidnapped, dismembered, and shoved into barrels by a serial killer, so we got in and settled back in the leather seats and off we went. He then asked us if we had time to see some of the local sights before he dropped us off. We said sure and he gave us about a 45 minute tour. We discovered that he was not moonlighting by driving clearly buzzed [drunk] strangers around, but rather that it was his car, and one of the kids he dropped off was his daughter. He told us about the restoration of the car, showed us the local horse club and some of the very nice neighborhoods, and we generally had a great time. At one point he said, "hey, wanna see Donny Wahlberg and Jenny McCarthy's house? " We enthusiastically replied, "of course we do!" Not that I'm a particular fan of either, but why spoil the momentum of a fun time? My wife was very confused by the blurry out-the-window photo of their McMansion I texted to her, until I had time to relay the whole story. I also texted to her, "if we don't make it back, our murderer's name is Peter and he owns a white Rolls Royce."

The driver turned out to be the owner of commercial construction firm who was very proud of his town, and an all-round nice guy. Apparently he trusted these two lubricated goofballs enough to let him into his sweet ride, and was clearly amused by our own alcoholic giddiness over the whole thing. It was definitely the highlight of the trip for us, as much as we enjoyed the show itself.
 

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