Breakup Stories

[Sig]

We all just fucked each other. It was the '70's.

Break ups? No fun stories. Married twice, still close friends with both of the exes.

Marry someone who is a your true friend or forget it. When the relationship gets in the way of the friendship it's time to reconfigure that relationship.

Absolutely.
My wife and I were friends for 16 years, lived together for 17 years and have been married for 5 years.
We have the same interests and very few "rules".
Let me explain that.......
We buy what we want, we do what we want with who we want. There is a lot of trust due to our deep friendship. When I'm busy, she hangs out with guy friends, girl friends....whoever she wants.
We like almost all the same things.....foods, horror movies, hiking, camping, firearms, horses, livestock, off grid living, growing our own food......almost everything.
This makes it easy to get along.
Our relationship is like most people have with their best friend.

 

[The Benedictine]

There is no sweeter smell in this or the next world, than a brand new girlfriend.

Make sure to check the oil while you're at it.

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

Make sure to check the oil while you're at it.

Sound advice. True with new cars and new girlfriends.

 

[Waning Embers]

One got me sent to the criminally insane ward at a mental institution because I took out her best friend after the breakup and another one committed suicide.

 

[Waning Embers]

There is no sweeter smell in this or the next world, than a brand new girlfriend.

The smell of money tops that one. The girlfriend will make sure you never get to smell it.

 

[sablebrush52]

One got me sent to the criminally insane ward at a mental institution because I took out her best friend after the breakup and another one committed suicide.

These are the funny stories?? Geez, I’d hate to read the sad ones.

 

[telescopes]

I am no help in consoling anyone in a break up situation. I use to to think the pain of a break up was akin to the death of a close family friend. The loss of a true love never gets better, only duller. But after traveling to some of the world's most miserable places and standing on top of fields full of thousands of freshly dead bodies whose bones and the clothing they were wearing when shot to death are still breaking through the ground, I stopped feeling sorry for myself. Personal misery at the time seems almost universally the worst - until you actually witness for yourself people whose day to day to day misery far surpasses anything you might have imagined for yourself. As you witness them carry on and continue with their lives, as meager and poor as they are in comparison to ours, the only conclusion you should be left with is that to not do the same for yourself is a mockery of the real gifts and joys we have been given. This isn't to say the pain of loss of a loved one isn't hard or difficult. It is. But in perspective, moving forward would be and is the true tragedy. Yes, pain is real and yes, it may not go away. But there it is - not moving on deprives you of what can and inevitably will come next.

 

[woodsroad]

There is no sweeter smell in this or the next world, than a brand new girlfriend.

Dunno about that.
I woke up in my apartment, on the floor, one morning in 1988. There was a naked girl I didn't recognize, two empty bottles of champagne and what must have previously been both of our dinners sprawled around me.

It didn't smell particularly nice, but everyone should do that at least once in their life.

 

[Snook]

I'm sorry to hear that. I've had maybe four breakups over the years that were pretty hard, but am fortunate to have now been with my wife for over 11 years. They're just distant memories now.

Let there be consolation in the fact that one day you'll be in a happy relationship/marriage and will look back on this breakup wondering why you ever felt so down. Everything happens for a reason, and it will work out for you my friend!

 

[woodsroad]

In the end, I have to opine that there is no joy without sorrow. The greater the gulf between the darkest days and the most exhilarating, the greater the appreciation for the good things in life. I know that is is no consolation, and it isn't meant to be. Just a perspective gained from many losses and many triumphs.

 

[Briar Lee]

Once upon a miserable time long ago I was married to my college sweetheart living in a brand new three story house above a lake on an 11 acre hilltop.

Took hours and hours to mow.

I drove a brand new Lincoln Mark VIII paid for.

And I had about everything in this world except happiness at home.

And I’ve always loved guns, except when my first wife was pointing one at me, and I had a client whose wife wanted every thing except the clothes on his back.

And he dove an old Toyota pickup and had a brand new Ruger Redhawk.

And he wanted to give her the Toyota AND the Ruger Redhawk!

And I said you owe me some money, and if I can get you the Redhawk I’ll take it for the balance of my fee.

He said go right ahead, but I want a divorce on my court date regardless.

So it doesn’t take much lawyer to trade a Ruger for a Toyota pickup.

And after the hearing was over, I went out to his old Toyota and he cleaned it out, and that snarling now ex wife came over and had her loser, shitball, nasty boyfriend drive it off, and she drove after him in the new nice car.

Left me and him on the street me holding his Redhawk.

And a lawyer, does not often feel rhe weight of his conscience, but there she’d took his truck and every thing he owned in the world except his gun, and I had taken his gun.

And the man said that gun isn’t worth your fee and I said it’s worth more than my fee and we were arguing like two old men trying to pick up a check at a restaurant when this smoking hot red head, built better than her brand new red Jeep with the top off, rolled up and said lawyer, would you mind if I take your client out to my farm, and grinned and smiled and he jumped in and they drove away with me holding that damned gun.

I drove back to my office and my assistants asked did you see that greedy bitch?

And I told them the story and they started laughing and slapping each others hands.

We were twins, beautiful, young, blonde, unmarried.

And one lingered after we closed, and she said are you going to go to the Shooters Club to shoot your new gun? I’ve never shot a 44 Magnum.

And I paused and thought a second, and said I’m going home to Libby.

I can shoot it in my backyard.

And I watched her drive away in her new red Camaro.

 

[JOHN72]

My first wife was and is an angel. I learned many good things from her. I have no complaints about my second and current marriage, because there is respect, honesty and true, unconditional love. I am not one to give advice. Only experience makes you analyze the present, to live in peace in the nearest present. Be honest, and say what you really feel. If the other person values you, everything will go smoothly. Run away from narcissistic people. Be patient, observant, cautious, don't get carried away by feelings, in the next encounter, it can condition you for the rest of your life, for better, or for worse.

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

That was like a whole episode of Matlock...

 

[Waning Embers]

These are the funny stories?? Geez, I’d hate to read the sad ones.

Other than the lady I'm with now, those are the only stories I've got.

 

[Briar Lee]

That was like a whole episode of Matlock...

Matlock had the smoking hot red headed prosector after him.

But the smoldering blonde he prepared cases with was his own daughter.

Identical twins are completely the same person with different souls.

Only the mother of my twin assistants could tell them apart besides me.

It was the easiest thing I’ll ever do to know which eyes wanted me.

And the hardest thing I’ll ever do, was to know better because I was the man in a new thousand dollar suit each day who dreaded going home, to have enough sense go home to Libby.

I see her sister all the time and there’s never been any spark at all whatsoever in her eyes. The other died young.

They both quit the day I married my good wife, I’ve loved since she walked up to me in South Dakota while I was on a divorce present pheasant hunting trip.


I can’t think what it must be like to be a woman.

If did, I’d just have to be one of them there lesbians, you know?.

 

[Brad H]

Going through a breakup right now and figured there would be some good breakup stories and/or advice from everyone on the forum. I've no crazy or funny stories so please drop some down below if you have any!

Here is a link with advice for a bad break up.

 

[anthonyrosenthal74]

I can't say I have any funny stories but I can give some advice. Whether it's good or bad I can't say.... well it's probably bad but here goes. Any time you have a bad breakup you have to do something nice for yourself. That might be a good dinner, a new music album or if you're a musician perhaps buy yourself that totally awesome guitar you've been looking at for some time. I uh... yeah... yeah I have 11 guitars.

 

[wyfbane]

In my younger days I went through the wringer... I've known far more crazy women than sane ones. The stories I could tell... But I won't.

^This. If ever I get to a pipe show, and some of you all ate around for some beverages, we can talk.

Instead I offer as a foil the story of how I got together with my wife. We went to HS together and she saw me in the only light that ever showed me as cool: on the ski slopes. I got to ski 5 times every year though the school district, which had a ski bus. I poured all my passion into that and was pretty good. She thought I was hot.

I was an ADHD riddled idiot who worked at a grocery store next to a SEEDY night club. My girl meter was formed by Motley crue videos and seeing the fantastically slutty but hot girls on that club. One evening, throwing freight, we opened the dock door and two people were banging right on the dock. Another time, I was doing cart roundup for closing at 5 to 11, and a van started.to pull out, screeched to a halt in the lot, a naked woman hopped out the back and ran around to the passenger side and got in. In short, I was in no way prepared or mature enough for a healthy relationship.

My now-wife was undeterred and we went on 3 dates the summer after graduation. Nothing came if it and we went to colleges hours apart. I visited her one weekend and we partied and had a nice time. She snuck me in to her all girls dorm to seal the deal. Thing is, it was to be her first time. Now i can be an asshole, but I am not an asshole. No way I was going to take that from her in the headspace I was in. So when she slipped off to get into something more comfortable, I took the cowards way out and pretended to pass out. I left the next day and went off to have those misadventures mentioned at the start of the post. 20 years later, we met for lunch. It was electric. I had gone to a lot of counseling, fixed my girl-meter, and was ready to treat a good woman the way they deserve to be treated.

One day, when we were far into dating, I mentioned to her my deception. We both laughed. She asked if I remembered what I told her the next morning before I left. I had no recollection. She said I sat her down and explained that the first time is important and meaningful and shouldn't be wasted on someone unable to commit to a relationship. She said she carried a torch for me from that day on.

Talk about playing the long game, tho, right?

 

[FLDRD]

Best way to get over one, is to get under another.

 

[beetlejockey]

That might be a good dinner, a new music album or if you're a musician perhaps buy yourself that totally awesome guitar you've been looking at for some time. I uh... yeah... yeah I have 11 guitars.

A CD I ordered online arrived today so i guess that counts! I must say I'm jealous of your guitar count, I've a measly 2 myself, one for gigging and one for the studio. The latest addition to the family was a tenor banjo!