Best "Royal Yacht" Experience

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deathmetal

Preferred Member
Jul 21, 2015
7,719
11
I was sitting back on an old, battered, dog-smelling sofa in a friend's garage. I had a beer of some kind in my hand, and a trusty basket briar -- generally I buy no other kind -- in my fist. I loaded up a fat wad of Royal Yacht and touched the flame to it, tamped, and then set it ablaze again.
I knew I was in for trouble when the voices of my friends receded. The garage seemed far away and underwater, and in the space between us the voices of demons and shapes of dead ancestors flew like a flock of bats. Soon I ventured beyond time and space, past the boundary between light and darkness itself, into a state of pure being.
At the center of this realm where ordinary physics did not reply, I found myself at an altar marked 1912. Curious, I brushed the surface, and a platform raised itself from within. On it was a single tin of Royal Yacht. I took it and opened it, and a starburst nebula expanded into my consciousness.
I was floating in deep space, far from any known galaxy, looking into the core of a world with seven suns. The planet itself was made of some kind of gel, and layers of life pulsed within. As I swam in airless space, a creature appeared before me that was part manta ray, part bat and part snake. Its green eyes paralyzed me with entrancement.
And then it said: "The secret is not that there are other worlds, but that your world is part of them, and everything you see is the momentary glimpse of what happens elsewhere. All that you know is illusion, and all that you think is true, is mere distraction."
Then this creature turned into a vortex of infinite colors and then a black hole, drawing me in and crushing me with its power as I became less than nothing, an ego without the power to notice itself.
I came to back on the sofa. My beer was empty and so was my pipe. I realized at that moment that I needed to order Royal Yacht in bulk so that I could visit the space-dragons again.

 

peteguy

Preferred Member
Jan 19, 2012
1,118
22
Mine is when I sold my last tin. I was finally able to get a good nights sleep knowing my house was finally rid of that vile weed.


 

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deathmetal

Preferred Member
Jul 21, 2015
7,719
11
Just remember: the best way to dispose of unwanted Royal Yacht is to mail it to me. I'll burn it all and protect you from it.

 

mig19

Junior Member
Feb 25, 2016
85
0
I've got a tin, I'm still trying to like it. I haven't given up on it yet, but it's trying my patience. I've read so many good reviews, I figure it must be my taste hasn't evolved yet.

 

ltstone

Senior Member
Dec 30, 2015
483
1
"an ego without the power to notice itself"
Love that, very deep :) I'm gonna steal that for my quote..

 

cosmicfolklore

Preferred Member
Aug 9, 2013
20,305
6,913
Outer Space
Flying snake, bat, manta ray? good god!! You sick twisted fruit. Sounds like you got some bad yacht, man. The most that ever happened to me is that I throw up on my shoes. On advisement by my attorney, that's when I tend to stop smoking for the evening.

 

iamn8

Preferred Member
Sep 8, 2014
4,251
6
Moody, AL
This RY obsession is verging on the unhealthy. I see an intervention in your future, a Royal Intervention.

 

phil67

Preferred Member
Dec 14, 2013
2,052
2
Uhhh… OK. :roll:
I guess Walter White in ‘Breaking Bad’ should have been peddling RY rather than crystal meth.

 

earthbound

Junior Member
Oct 12, 2015
63
3
I genuinely have no qualms with Royal Yacht but I still affectionately refer to it as Royal Yuck because it's downright funny! My pipe smoking room mate couldn't finish a bowl of the stuff.

 

tinsel

Preferred Member
Oct 23, 2015
531
4
"Today a young man (smoking Royal Yacht) realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all of one conciousness, experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death. Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves. Now here's Tom with the weather ..."
-Bill Hicks (paraphrased) ... RIP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgbgY8-DVqs

 
May 5, 2014
237
0
At the Chicago show a wonderful man named Scott Sinclair gave me my first bowl of the old Murrays Royal yacht....easily the finest bowl of tobacco I smoke at the show and I've smoked all year

 

phil67

Preferred Member
Dec 14, 2013
2,052
2
I used to be crippled and unable to walk, and then I smoked some Royal Yacht. Now, I can see!!!
Jeez Cosmic, why did you do that! Now you'll start having hallucinations like deathmetal and listening to the same music, which in and of itself is enough to turn any sane persons brain into squirrel shit!

 

iamn8

Preferred Member
Sep 8, 2014
4,251
6
Moody, AL
Phil, I find it quite telling that when you searched your heart for your shit reference that you went with squirrel. This will def go in your file.

 

deathmetal

Preferred Member
Jul 21, 2015
7,719
11
Most people think of cows, horses, or goats. Squirrels? Well, maybe a capybara if it was a good conversationalist.

 
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