As I sit here enjoying a wee bit of Black Frigate, I pause to reflect upon the journey and the adventures undertaken since climbing aboard this finest of vessels.
Occasionally, I've chronicled events of import aboard the Frigate with a verse or two and brother Anthony, once or twice, has hinted that maybe a compilation of all this drivel would be in order.
So, tonight, I have undertaken a most challenging endeavor. Using our impotent and illogical forum search function to locate as many of my ship's log entries as possible.
I've found seven. Seven songs for the seven seas! :lol:
I don't recall if there are any more, as I never kept track. So, here, in no particular order, I present:
Arrgh! Rated Exploits
1
Unfurl Old Roger and hoist him up high
While plumes of our crumb cake smoke rise to the sky
Lash down the main guns and sharpen ye swords
While sailing the Frigate ahead through the fjords
We puff and we tamp through the nautical miles
And through wispy smoke show our nic-laden smiles
Another pipe loaded and a hitch at the wheel
To send our doubloons off to Cornell & Diehl
2
The ranks of the Frigate
they swell with the tide
The young buccaneers
all wantin' a ride
Well, there's room for the masses
providing you take
a shift in the crow's nest
and bring yer own cake
We'll lower the sails
when the sunset is low
and drift through the fathoms
with our pipes a-glow
'Till we see a vessel
down-laden with gold
Then we'll lean on the tiller
and draw our steel cold
Load up the stove pipe
and touch off the charge
'till they strike the colors
on their sinking barge
And if they surrender
their treasures and stores
We'll spare them a dinghy,
Carter Hall and some oars....
3
When in the course of Pirate events, on this, our Patriot Day
We find ourselves beset by the hordes that come to take our cake away
Essential it is to load up the cask with powder and shot and grit
Then loosen the moorings securing the Frigate and to her resolve recommit
There's nary a harbor secure from the congress that gathers like gales on the sea
The greedy, self righteous and murderous vermin intent to subdue you and me
Surrender your briars and toss down your pouches and back to the plow and the yoke
Or brandish your blades and through their blood wade attacking the beasts 'till they croak
Gather your will and pick up your quill and give them a piece of your mind
And leave them no doubt that you are about to back up those words with behind
For freedom is earned, not given away and you owe a debt to your tots
To keep still afloat this stately old boat your fore-bearers paid for with guts.
4
Twas the night before Christmas and aboard the black ship
It was too freakin' cold to go for a dip
So we filled the fire barrel with junk mail and cobs
And drank Irish Coffee on a deck freshly swabbed
Our briars were packed with our favorite leaf
A billiard for me, a 904 for the chief
Rosenthal drunkenly sang us a tune
While the rest of us swaggered and howled at the moon
The junk mail and cobs made a flame that did roar
And we looked to the sky as the embers did soar
A cloud passed the moon as I tipped up my flagon
As the moon reemerged, a horse drawn wagon
Appeared in the sky along with a sound
Of jingling bells- I threw my drink down
Surely, I'm hammered, as horses don't fly
Nor drag around wagons way up in the sky
I tapped pappymac and pointed aloft
He pulled off his eye patch as he cursed and scoffed
Mayfair said, "Horses with antlers? Hell, no!
And wagons have wheels, not skids for the snow!"
Embers pulled out the ol' looking glass
And said, "It's a jolly man with a fat ass
Dressed in all red and pulled by reindeer
On a sleigh full of cargo; The whole thing is queer!"
We started to load up the cannons in case
We were assaulted by this freak from space
But, just as we opened the keg of black powder
We heard a man's voice getting closer and louder
"Ho Ho Ho, down below on the river.
I'm no invader. I'm just a gift giver.
I've been watching all of you for the whole year
You're mostly all naughty with the sex and the beer
But I've just left a place that they call D.C.
And by comparison, saints ye all be!"
He made a close pass. He just missed the mast
And onto the deck, a large sack he did cast
It burst open wide and spilled all around
And each of us wondered because we all found
A tin of our favorite weed and a pipe
Exactly like we had been wanting to swipe
As we stuffed our pockets and pipes and rejoiced
We heard again jingle bells and his voice
"Enjoy this reward, but please do recall
There's others around you with nothing at all
Don't be a dick. Be giving to others.
Even if they smoke Carter Hall, They're still brothers." :nana:
5
We walk with a swagger
Our nuts drag the ground
We load up our briars
and smoke by the pound
The salty spray douses
and flattens our embers
But nothing extinguishes
Frigate crew members
Just lash down the cannons
and light 'em back up
The cake in our cobs
and the grog in our cups
We'll pillage and plunder
the next ship we see'd
With treasure enough
to buy our precious weed...
6
We head for the coast for some turkey and wenches
And to wash up our laundry because of the stenches
We dream of the stuffing and cranberry sauce
We're tired of roasted rat and albatross
Another week's journey in front of us lies
Until we score eggnog and fresh pumpkin pies
And loosen the buttons on our pantaloons
To make way for girth added on with our spoons
A norther has blown for the last several days
And the vanishing larder lends a tone of malaise
Everyone jealously guards the small tins
That hold the remains of the crumble kake in
A small open vessel has given us chase
A crazy old bastard with ice on his face
Instead of a ship's wheel, he has handlebars
And a triple 8 flag riding high on the spars
Duane cuts the wheel and Hap reefs the sails
While I fill the cannon with lead and pipe nails
Rosenthal calls to the now halted rig,
"State your intent or dance the hempen jig!"
"I mean you no harm. I'm half froze to death."
We followed the billows he made with his breath
"They tell me the Frigate be takin' on hands
And sailing off smartly to faraway lands."
He boarded the vessel with a cob and a tin
We knew right away he'd likely fit in
Anthony broke out our best cleaning fluid
His training assigned to mate prariedruid
We all resumed stations, re-hoisted the sails
As visions of unicorns danced on the rails
The Cap'n regained our course on the wheel
We resumed our pursuit of a holiday meal
7
It's hot as hell and we all smell like ass
There's albatross shit on the deck and the mast
The Beekeeper's Friend supply's getting low
Barnacles thick, so the ship's moving slow
We're down to the last crumble cake in the tin
The rats in the larder are all looking thin
There's no wind to push and no hands on the oars
We're tripping o'er piles of Sav 904's
The Cap'n retired below with a bark,
"Don't knock on me door or you're feedin' the shark!"
We haven't seen land nor a barge one to take
We're moving so slow, we're casting no wake
Just as the sun drops closer to night
The man in the crow's nest shouts, "I see a light!"
Rosenthal grabs the spyglass and he scans
"Port side!" he shouts, "A boat and a man!"
Necks are all craning and lining the rail
The tiniest breeze grabs ahold of the sail
"Spin to!" shouts ol' Embers emerging on deck
We bear down and turn for the small floating wreck
"Where be you going and who do you be?",
we shouted. The man said, "Me name's Olkofri!"
"Been drifting for days since me schooner was sunk."
"All I have left is me pipe and this trunk."
We hauled him aboard and heard his sad tale
How an old mine had blasted his vessel's gunwale.
"All I could salvage was this here old crate
full cleaning supplies and a nice crumble cake."
"Well you'll need a lift, then, and we need a mate.
If you open that trunk, then we'll get you a plate.
There's quarters below and roast rat on the spit.
Upnorth1 just finished them up on the pit."
The cloud of despair dissipated by dark
And no one was offered as food for the shark.
The pipes were all glowing and spirits restored
And that's how we welcomed Olkofri aboard.
Bonus: Just stumbled on to #8
Up in the nest on a near moonless night
With barely a twinkle of heavenly light
A slow breeze was pushing The Frigate ahead
The crew mostly sleepin', snores wakin' the dead
A splash off the bow and the clank of some gear
cut through the thick fog and tickled me ear
I dashed for the lantern and cast out a beam
Callin' for eyes from what's left of the team
"Something's a splashin' not far off port side"
I said as the lantern beam swept side to side
We spotted an eyeball, and then a whole head
attached to a body hard workin' to tread
The water in which he was merciless stuck
Gaspin' and flailin', almost out of luck
We tossed out a rope and then drew it back
Till our soggy new friend was sprawled on the deck
His pipe was a wretched mess filled with seaweed
We knew right away what this fellow would need
"Go wake up the Cap'n and bring this lad back
A piece of the cake from the Frigate that's Black"
Scrape out the algae and pack up his briar
Then give him a tamper and a wee bit o' the fire"
The fragrant clouds wafted from bow back to stern
the fellow grew stronger the more the cake burned
"What have we here?" says Captain C. Embers,
"Who's swimming the channel this late in November?"
"A surfer he said? Are we hearing him right?
Who waxes their board at this time of night?"
He shook his head quickly and then did explain
"It's not an S-U, but C-E in my name.
It's CERFER, not SURFER and, now that I've had
Some Frigate to smoke, I might like to add
Myself to this motley crew floating abroad,
As soon as I'm dried and me fingers is thawed."
Anthony gave him a spatula and bunk
The rest of the crew lit up and got drunk...
Occasionally, I've chronicled events of import aboard the Frigate with a verse or two and brother Anthony, once or twice, has hinted that maybe a compilation of all this drivel would be in order.
So, tonight, I have undertaken a most challenging endeavor. Using our impotent and illogical forum search function to locate as many of my ship's log entries as possible.
I've found seven. Seven songs for the seven seas! :lol:
I don't recall if there are any more, as I never kept track. So, here, in no particular order, I present:
Arrgh! Rated Exploits
1
Unfurl Old Roger and hoist him up high
While plumes of our crumb cake smoke rise to the sky
Lash down the main guns and sharpen ye swords
While sailing the Frigate ahead through the fjords
We puff and we tamp through the nautical miles
And through wispy smoke show our nic-laden smiles
Another pipe loaded and a hitch at the wheel
To send our doubloons off to Cornell & Diehl
2
The ranks of the Frigate
they swell with the tide
The young buccaneers
all wantin' a ride
Well, there's room for the masses
providing you take
a shift in the crow's nest
and bring yer own cake
We'll lower the sails
when the sunset is low
and drift through the fathoms
with our pipes a-glow
'Till we see a vessel
down-laden with gold
Then we'll lean on the tiller
and draw our steel cold
Load up the stove pipe
and touch off the charge
'till they strike the colors
on their sinking barge
And if they surrender
their treasures and stores
We'll spare them a dinghy,
Carter Hall and some oars....
3
When in the course of Pirate events, on this, our Patriot Day
We find ourselves beset by the hordes that come to take our cake away
Essential it is to load up the cask with powder and shot and grit
Then loosen the moorings securing the Frigate and to her resolve recommit
There's nary a harbor secure from the congress that gathers like gales on the sea
The greedy, self righteous and murderous vermin intent to subdue you and me
Surrender your briars and toss down your pouches and back to the plow and the yoke
Or brandish your blades and through their blood wade attacking the beasts 'till they croak
Gather your will and pick up your quill and give them a piece of your mind
And leave them no doubt that you are about to back up those words with behind
For freedom is earned, not given away and you owe a debt to your tots
To keep still afloat this stately old boat your fore-bearers paid for with guts.
4
Twas the night before Christmas and aboard the black ship
It was too freakin' cold to go for a dip
So we filled the fire barrel with junk mail and cobs
And drank Irish Coffee on a deck freshly swabbed
Our briars were packed with our favorite leaf
A billiard for me, a 904 for the chief
Rosenthal drunkenly sang us a tune
While the rest of us swaggered and howled at the moon
The junk mail and cobs made a flame that did roar
And we looked to the sky as the embers did soar
A cloud passed the moon as I tipped up my flagon
As the moon reemerged, a horse drawn wagon
Appeared in the sky along with a sound
Of jingling bells- I threw my drink down
Surely, I'm hammered, as horses don't fly
Nor drag around wagons way up in the sky
I tapped pappymac and pointed aloft
He pulled off his eye patch as he cursed and scoffed
Mayfair said, "Horses with antlers? Hell, no!
And wagons have wheels, not skids for the snow!"
Embers pulled out the ol' looking glass
And said, "It's a jolly man with a fat ass
Dressed in all red and pulled by reindeer
On a sleigh full of cargo; The whole thing is queer!"
We started to load up the cannons in case
We were assaulted by this freak from space
But, just as we opened the keg of black powder
We heard a man's voice getting closer and louder
"Ho Ho Ho, down below on the river.
I'm no invader. I'm just a gift giver.
I've been watching all of you for the whole year
You're mostly all naughty with the sex and the beer
But I've just left a place that they call D.C.
And by comparison, saints ye all be!"
He made a close pass. He just missed the mast
And onto the deck, a large sack he did cast
It burst open wide and spilled all around
And each of us wondered because we all found
A tin of our favorite weed and a pipe
Exactly like we had been wanting to swipe
As we stuffed our pockets and pipes and rejoiced
We heard again jingle bells and his voice
"Enjoy this reward, but please do recall
There's others around you with nothing at all
Don't be a dick. Be giving to others.
Even if they smoke Carter Hall, They're still brothers." :nana:
5
We walk with a swagger
Our nuts drag the ground
We load up our briars
and smoke by the pound
The salty spray douses
and flattens our embers
But nothing extinguishes
Frigate crew members
Just lash down the cannons
and light 'em back up
The cake in our cobs
and the grog in our cups
We'll pillage and plunder
the next ship we see'd
With treasure enough
to buy our precious weed...
6
We head for the coast for some turkey and wenches
And to wash up our laundry because of the stenches
We dream of the stuffing and cranberry sauce
We're tired of roasted rat and albatross
Another week's journey in front of us lies
Until we score eggnog and fresh pumpkin pies
And loosen the buttons on our pantaloons
To make way for girth added on with our spoons
A norther has blown for the last several days
And the vanishing larder lends a tone of malaise
Everyone jealously guards the small tins
That hold the remains of the crumble kake in
A small open vessel has given us chase
A crazy old bastard with ice on his face
Instead of a ship's wheel, he has handlebars
And a triple 8 flag riding high on the spars
Duane cuts the wheel and Hap reefs the sails
While I fill the cannon with lead and pipe nails
Rosenthal calls to the now halted rig,
"State your intent or dance the hempen jig!"
"I mean you no harm. I'm half froze to death."
We followed the billows he made with his breath
"They tell me the Frigate be takin' on hands
And sailing off smartly to faraway lands."
He boarded the vessel with a cob and a tin
We knew right away he'd likely fit in
Anthony broke out our best cleaning fluid
His training assigned to mate prariedruid
We all resumed stations, re-hoisted the sails
As visions of unicorns danced on the rails
The Cap'n regained our course on the wheel
We resumed our pursuit of a holiday meal
7
It's hot as hell and we all smell like ass
There's albatross shit on the deck and the mast
The Beekeeper's Friend supply's getting low
Barnacles thick, so the ship's moving slow
We're down to the last crumble cake in the tin
The rats in the larder are all looking thin
There's no wind to push and no hands on the oars
We're tripping o'er piles of Sav 904's
The Cap'n retired below with a bark,
"Don't knock on me door or you're feedin' the shark!"
We haven't seen land nor a barge one to take
We're moving so slow, we're casting no wake
Just as the sun drops closer to night
The man in the crow's nest shouts, "I see a light!"
Rosenthal grabs the spyglass and he scans
"Port side!" he shouts, "A boat and a man!"
Necks are all craning and lining the rail
The tiniest breeze grabs ahold of the sail
"Spin to!" shouts ol' Embers emerging on deck
We bear down and turn for the small floating wreck
"Where be you going and who do you be?",
we shouted. The man said, "Me name's Olkofri!"
"Been drifting for days since me schooner was sunk."
"All I have left is me pipe and this trunk."
We hauled him aboard and heard his sad tale
How an old mine had blasted his vessel's gunwale.
"All I could salvage was this here old crate
full cleaning supplies and a nice crumble cake."
"Well you'll need a lift, then, and we need a mate.
If you open that trunk, then we'll get you a plate.
There's quarters below and roast rat on the spit.
Upnorth1 just finished them up on the pit."
The cloud of despair dissipated by dark
And no one was offered as food for the shark.
The pipes were all glowing and spirits restored
And that's how we welcomed Olkofri aboard.
Bonus: Just stumbled on to #8
Up in the nest on a near moonless night
With barely a twinkle of heavenly light
A slow breeze was pushing The Frigate ahead
The crew mostly sleepin', snores wakin' the dead
A splash off the bow and the clank of some gear
cut through the thick fog and tickled me ear
I dashed for the lantern and cast out a beam
Callin' for eyes from what's left of the team
"Something's a splashin' not far off port side"
I said as the lantern beam swept side to side
We spotted an eyeball, and then a whole head
attached to a body hard workin' to tread
The water in which he was merciless stuck
Gaspin' and flailin', almost out of luck
We tossed out a rope and then drew it back
Till our soggy new friend was sprawled on the deck
His pipe was a wretched mess filled with seaweed
We knew right away what this fellow would need
"Go wake up the Cap'n and bring this lad back
A piece of the cake from the Frigate that's Black"
Scrape out the algae and pack up his briar
Then give him a tamper and a wee bit o' the fire"
The fragrant clouds wafted from bow back to stern
the fellow grew stronger the more the cake burned
"What have we here?" says Captain C. Embers,
"Who's swimming the channel this late in November?"
"A surfer he said? Are we hearing him right?
Who waxes their board at this time of night?"
He shook his head quickly and then did explain
"It's not an S-U, but C-E in my name.
It's CERFER, not SURFER and, now that I've had
Some Frigate to smoke, I might like to add
Myself to this motley crew floating abroad,
As soon as I'm dried and me fingers is thawed."
Anthony gave him a spatula and bunk
The rest of the crew lit up and got drunk...