It seems like these days, you can make a pipe out of just about anything. Pipes can be made from briar, or other kinds of wood, corn cobs, minerals, dirt, and even metal. As long as it is fire resistant and will hold tobacco and can be made into a pipe shape, you could probably make a pipe out of it (And although Silly Putty will hold tobacco, it doesn’t make for a very good pipe. Don’t ask me how I know that.) That being said, let’s delve into the pros and cons of each of the pipe materials that are readily availble to us and see where they stack up.

Briar Pipes

Pros: Elegant look; highly customizable(new stems, rustication of briar, new stain, etc.); styles, brands, and makers offer a nearly endless selection; can offer a superior smoke with proper care and maintenance, can be found for little money with a little research; can last lifetimes if cared for properly

Cons: Constant care is required to keep them smoking at their full potential; stems can oxidize over time if vulcanite is used for stem material; when new, extensive break in is required to get them to smoke at their full potential; can retain flavors and aromas once a certain type of tobacco is smoked in a briar.

Briar seems to be the gold standard for most pipe smokers. It is what most of us cut our teeth on, our learning pipes, and it is easy to see why a lot of smokers prefer them: It’s traditional, it’s timeless, it looks good, it smokes good, and with the different factory makers and artisan carvers alike, the options are almost endless when choosing a briar pipe. The downside is that, as anyone who has bought an old pipe from Ebay or from an antique dealer can tell you, if briar pipes  are not properly cared for over the years, they can turn sour, the vulcanite stems can oxidize (basically, they turn brown, fuzzy, and start to smell a litte like an old car tire). Also, once a tobacco with a strong scent has been smoked in a briar pipe, the wood of the pipe will absorb the tars and the nicotines from said tobacco, and it could leave your pipe smelling and tasting like the last tobacco that was smoked in it, like say, an English or an aromatic. Also, when dealing with a brand new briar pipe, an extensive break in is required so that the pipe builds a good layer of carbon, ensuring that the pipe will not burn out and will smoke properly. Still, even with all the maintenance required, briar pipes are timeless, offer a great smoke, can be found for a good price if you know where to look, will last almost forever with the right maintenance, and hold a certain magic that a lot of other pipes cannot offer.

Corn Cob Pipes

Pros: Very affordable on nearly any budget;  great choice for beginning smokers who are not ready to spend large amounts of money on a pipe; minimal maintenance required(for most smokers); long lasting if properly cared for; wide variety of shapes and bowl sizes; incredibly open draw if smoked without a filter; additional filters can be added for those who want to use them; offers a very dry smoke either with a filter or without.

Cons: Not as elegant looking as other pipes; more susceptible to “burn outs” if not properly cared for; corn cob pipes not made in the USA can, at times, be an inferior product; most corn cob pipes come equipped with plastic mouthpieces that do not last as long as something like Vulcanite or Lucite.

The image of the corn cob pipe is almost as American as baseball, the American flag, and bacon cheeseburgers. People have been using them for decades to enjoy their favorite tobacco, and they are a good choice for a lot of reasons. They are dirt cheap (many can be found for under $10 on most online retail sites), meaning that if you drop one on the pavement or it goes overboard on a fishing trip, no big whoop: just buy another one. As far as their actual smoking characteristics, a paper filter can be inserted into the shank end of the stem (on most of the models made by the Missouri Meerschaum Company, at least) or it can be left out. In either case, the smoke from a corn cob pipe is very dry and very cool when smoked properly. Also, a minimum amount of care is required to keep the pipe smoking cool and dry; most smokers just run a cleaner through the stem and the shank and call it a day. The only downsides are that, if not smoked properly, there is a higher chance that a corn cob pipe will “burn out”, or that a hole will be burned in the walls of the chamber. Also, a corn cob pipe looks…well, like corn, and some people don’t enjoy the rustic look of a corn cob pipe. Also, most corn cob pipes come equipped with mouthpieces made out of plastic, which isn’t really a problem if you don’t grip your pipe in your teeth, but for the chewers out there, it can quickly do a number on the stem of a corn cob pipe.

Meerschaum Pipes

Pros: Most fanciful and whimsical looking of any style of pipe; Does not retain flavors and aromas from tobaccos; can be smoked over and over again with minimal care and cool down time; the material absorbs tars over time and colors the pipe a deep brown color which adds to the character.

Cons: Very fragile material that must be handled with care; when coloring, smudges and fingermarks can be spotted on the pipe if the user doesn’t wear gloves or hold the pipe by the stem; more expensive that briar and corn cob, at least in most cases.

Meerschaum is a mineral that, translated into English, means “sea foam.” It is a very porous material that can be made into all kinds of traditional pipe shapes, but can also be ground to dust and pressed into all kinds of whimsical shapes, such as dragons, claws, faces, or human figures. Meerschaum offers a very cool, dry smoke with the added benefits of not retaining any flavor or aromas from tobaccos after they have been emptied out. Also, Meerschaum pipes require little cool down and little care to keep them smoking at their best. Over time, Meerschaum pipes will absorbs tars from the tobacco smoke and will turn the white material a deep, rich amber color that a lot of collectors seek in their meerschaum pipes. The only downside to Meerschaums is that the material is incredibly fragile, and it does not take much for the material to break if dropped or rustled around, so the proper care must be taken when smoking and traveling with these pipes.

Clay Pipes

Pros: Very elegant look; relatively inexpensive when purchased from the right retailer; does not retain flavors or aromas from tobaccos; very little care required.

Cons: Chamber of the pipe gets very hot while smoking and can cause discomfort if held by the bowl; very fragile material that can break if mishandled; limited number of options available in terms of styles and manufacturers.

Clay pipes have been around since the Colonial days of American history, and probably even longer than that. Clay pipes have a very elegant look about them when they are brand new: nice and white and smooth to the touch. Over time, however, the clay will absorb tars and begin to color, not completely unlike a meerschaum pipe. What sets clay pipes apart from all the others is that they offer a very dry, very cool smoke, almost more so than either a briar or a corn cob, at least in my opinion. Also, there is minimal care required for a clay, and in my case, I do absolutely nothing to care for my clays. A pipe cleaner can be run through some clay pipes, but one runs the risk of breaking the pipe if done incorrectly. Also, the pipe can be heated over the coals of a fire or in a self cleaning oven, which will not only burn out blockages in the stem and bowl of the pipe, but will also “reset” the patina, or coloring, of the pipe, and will make it look like brand new again. The downside to these pipes is that they are fragile, like meerschaum, and one must take the proper precautions not to break the pipe while smoking or handling it. Also, there are a limited number of manufacturers offering clay pipes to the US market. Two of the most well known retailers are Penn Valley Pipe and Tobacco and Lepeltier Clay pipes. Aside from that, a few independent sellers offer clays through Ebay as well.

So which pipe material offers the best smoke? Well, trying to answer this question is like trying to answer the question, “What is the best car?” Each of the materials listed has its good points and bad points, and you would do well to experiment with all these different materials to see what you like best. Once I discovered the positive points of a clay pipe, I smoked a clay exclusively for a good month. Then, I missed the feel and heat absorption of the briar, the way it felt in my hand and the flavor of the smoke it gave me. I do also load up a corn cob when I want to give my briars a rest. And while I don’t own a whole lot of Meerschaum pipes, I do love the ones that I do have, and I never have to worry about dedicating a tobacco type to those pipes, which is part of the fun. Like most things in the pipe world; experiment. Have fun with it. Grab a couple of each kind of pipe and form your own opinion. When it comes to asking what kind of pipe is the best pipe, just remember; as long as you enjoy it, there is no right or wrong answer.

The old souls and newbie smokers alike that frequent the Pipes Magazine forum hear these two acronyms thrown around quite a bit: P.A.D. and T.A.D. Every once in a while, someone who is blissfully ignorant of these two acronyms asks what they stand for.

I am envious of those people because they have not contracted either of these horrible, horrible afflictions, these crippling diagnoses that will most likely affect your personal life, your work schedule, your income, and most importantly, your free time and sanity.

OK, I may be over-exaggerating, but any of us in the briar brotherhood who knows what these letters stand for and the “illnesses” they represent will recognize that itch we can’t scratch, that thirst we can’t quench, and that hunger we can’t quell.

OK, so there are probably some new guys reading this and yelling, “Just tell us what this stands for already!” Here goes: P.A.D.=Pipe Acquisition Disorder. T.A.D.= Tobacco Acquisition Disorder. There are many other facets of our hobby that you could slap an -AD on the end of and call it an Acquisition Disorder: Cigars, Snuff, Humidors, Pipe Rack, Pipe Accessory, Pipe Cleaner, Pipe Pouch, etc. For those of us who are really hardcore, you might come down with “Something to Keep All This Damn Tobacco In” Acquisition Disorder, but let’s face it, that acronym looks a little funny.

Every pipe smokers household should be outfitted with at least one of these.

These two conditions are defined very simply: by buying and owning way more pipes and tobaccos than any one sane human being should own. So how do you contract these terrible maladies? How do you come down with the fever that only briar and ‘baccy can cure? The short answer is: Take a pipe, fill it with tobacco, smoke, repeat. Most people who stick with the hobby for longer than a few months will acquire one or both of these conditions. That being said, both disorders can be explained in different ways.

The reason that we as smokers strive to collect so many pipes is because, in short, they are extremely collectible. Different brands, shapes, different grains, rusticated or smooth, different colors of finishes, different sizes of chambers, different stem materials, the possiblities are practically endless. Some people collect pipes by country of origin, some collect by shape, some by carver, some by stem material, some collect all rusticated, some collect all smooth, some people have collections of nothing but pipes that they have carved themselves. The number of quality briar pipes being offered on the market today is almost as staggering as the number of tobaccos, and it is one of the things that makes the hobby so exciting. We strive to have that perfect shape, the perfect hunk of briar, the perfect curve in the stem, the perfect rustication pattern, and hunting down your favorite pipe is only half the fun. You then get to look forward to breaking it in, building a cake, figuring out which tobacco you are going to dedicate to that pipe, and the number of years of enjoyment that you will get out of it. Also, it helps to have a variety of pipes to smoke from so that they are well cared for and not overused, whether you have 10 pipes or 100 pipes, so the sickness is not only engaging but is highly justifiable in that one more pipe means that you have another pipe that has a chance to rest and not get over used, or at least, that’s what you’ll try to say to convince your wife.

Tobacco Acquisition Disorder is another interesting beast, and it too has its own set of causes. As I said before, the number of pipe tobacco manufacturers and blends on the markey today makes my head spin, and not in some weird, Exorcist kind of way, but in a way that I can never make up my mind as to what I want to smoke. A simple explanation for Tobacco Acquisition Disorder is found in another pipe smoking tradition: Cellaring. Pipe tobaccos have been known to age very well, and I know for a fact that the amount of tobacco that I order at one time is going to be far more than I can smoke until my finger gets a little itchy and I lose sense of space and time and all of a sudden the credit card company is calling me and asking if these charges are legitimate. I do go on pipe tobacco buying benders, but I have peace of mind because I know that the tobacco can sit for weeks, months, or even years, and as long as it’s properly stored, when I do get around to smoking it, it will be even better than it would have been if I had ripped it open right when it got in my mailbox. Also, with the ease of storing large amounts of bulk tobaccos, and the current great prices on both bulk and tins alike, it is easy to see why we can become total tobacco hoarding mad men.

A typical prescription for your TAD. This treatment, however, is only temporary.

So what are the symptoms of these two terrible, virulent forces? That is simple: Looking around at all the pipes in your pipe rack, or looking into your cellar, and telling yourself that it is not enough. In reality, it may never be enough. I often walk into my local B&M and see a new pipe that I, despite what my girlfriend will tell me, just CANNOT live without. In reality, I have no more room on my pipe racks for pipes, and I have no more room for more racks, so a new pipe is out of the question. But the urge, the itch, that tingle in my brain is still there. “This pipe will be mine. I don’t care if I have to put another pipe in a drawer to make room for it in the rack. I must have it.” In all reality, this last thought is really cruel. Never put your pipes in a drawer. They deserve more respect than that…well, unless it’s made of Brylon. Then maybe it can be forgiven.

The same goes for tobacco. I am currently sitting at around 10 tins that are 3.5 ounces each, and about 20 tins of tobacco that are 2 ounces each, plus a smattering of various amounts of bulk blends. Two ounces takes me roughly two weeks to smoke, so if you do the math…OK, so I never really was good at math, but that is enough tobacco to last me for months, and then some. Yet I still keep buying it, because unlike pipes, I do have room to store it, and even after I don’t have room to store it anymore, I will probably still buy more. I read the description of a blend and imagine how it will taste, and the excitement that comes with cracking that tin and loading up that first bowl. I buy Latakias, Burley, Virginias, Aromatics, and even drugstore mixtures. Some blends I buy specifically to cellar, others I just crack open whenever I feel like it. To reiterate once more, the number of blends that we have access to is almost never ending, and every time I turn the corner I hear of yet another new blend that just might tickle my fancy.

So how do you cure your PAD and TAD? At what point will you never buy another pipe or tobacco tin ever again? For anyone who reads this, that answer is probably either going to be “NEVER!” or “When I’m dead!”, and for the most part, I would probably agree with you. As for me: I can’t see myself realistically buying another pipe any time in the near future. I have amassed some 40 odd pipes in my 9 months that I have been back on pipe smoking. I have pipes for Burley and Viriginias, pipes for Englishes, and pipes for Aromatics. I have all manner of shapes, sizes, makers, and even a could of hand-carved pipes. I am quite happy with my collection and would not be heartbroken if my collection doesn’t go past what it is right now. As far as tobaccos? Well that’s another matter entirely. There are so many blends that I haven’t tried, want to try, and love so much that I want to order more of, that I don’t see my TAD being cured any time soon. So we may never cure these afflictions completely, but if we remain enthusiastic about our hobby and keep the antis off our backs, we can take two big chunks of briar, wash it down with a teaspoon of tobacco, and call the doctor in the morning. He’ll tell us that we may not be cured, but we’re doing just fine, and maybe we should take another day off work just to be sure.

Wellington pipe, prior to any work whatsoever.

All of us have bought the occasional estate pipe, either from Ebay, an antique shop, or that creepy guy named Wallace that lives down the street (the guy that your mother always warned you about, remember?) that has a stem so nasty and brown and smelly that you wouldn’t even let your dog use it as a chew toy. I have read a lot of comments and concerns on the Pipes Magazine forums about how to get a pipe stem nice and shiny, and I particularly hear a lot of concerns from people who don’t have a buffing wheel of buffing compounds. I have restored som 20 odd estate pipes in my career as a smoker, and not a one of them has seen a buffing wheel, and all of them look pretty darned good, in my opinion. I am now going to highlight for you how to get your pipe stems nice and shiny, sharp and black, and we are going to do it all with things that can be found (with one small exception) at your local supermarket. The pipe stem that we are going to restore is the stem on the Wellington that you see in the opening of this article. You can’t really tell from the photo, but this stem is in the worst shape that a stem can be, but with a little care and elbow grease, we are going to make it nice and shiny again. Let’s get to work, shall we?

The first thing that we are going to do is soak the stem in a solution of Oxyclean and water. The Oxyclean soak will not only help to remove the bad oxidation, but will help to clean the inside of the stem and draw the deep oxidation to the surface so that we can scrub it out later. Normally, I like to soak my stems in a Ziploc food storage container that looks like this:

But since this Wellington stem is near churchwarden in length, we will have to soak it in this style of tub:

What you want to do is set the stem in the tub and put in enough warm, not hot, water to just cover the stem, then put in the desired amount of Oxyclean. This is going to vary depending on how much water you put in and how bad the stem is. This stem is pretty nasty, and we are using quite a bit of water, so I am going to throw in a good two scoops(I use the scoop that comes in the Oxyclean bucket. It’s about the size of a coffee scoop). After you have the solution set up, you are going to want to let the stem soak for anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour, again, depending on how bad the stem is. This one is pretty bad, so we’re going to shoot for an hour.

The brown stuff in the tub is the oxidation being drawn out of the stem

After that hour is up, take the stem out of the solution, dump the solution, and rinse the stem off really well. You’ll want to get the gummy material on the outside of the stem off and rinse out all the Oxyclean out of the inside of the stem. Now that we have that done, it’s time for some good ol’ fashion elbow grease.

Next up, you’ll want to take a Magic Eraser pad (the name brand or the off brand both work equally well), saturate it with water, then squeeze out all the extra water, and get to scrubbing. If your stem is really bad, like this one is, this process is going to take quite a bit of time and energy, so stick with it and be patient.

Just a few minutes with the Magic Eraser. This is all oxidation. If your pad gets too loaded up, rinse all the oxidation out and keep going.

Keep in mind that the Magic Eraser will only go so far, but that’s OK. Get as much of the oxidation out as you can, then give the stem another quick rinse. You may notice there is still some oxidation near the bottom end of the stem, where it actually meets the pipe, and there may be that stubborn little bit of oxidation up near the little corner in the mouthpiece. That is perfectly normal. This is where our Micro Mesh Sanding Pads come in.

Start with the Micro Mesh grit 1500 pad, the lowest grit there is. Micro Mesh works best when you wet sand it because the oxidation that you are scrubbing off can clog up the pores on the sandpaper. What I like to do is just give the pad a good rinse, give them stem a good rinse, and start scrubbing. Every so often, look at your sanding pad. You will notice brown crud building up on the pad. When you start to notice this, give the pad another rinse, and the stem another rinse, and keep going. Keep scrubbing with the 1500 grit and dry the stem every so often to check your progress. When the stem is fully dry and you can see no more brown crud, I like to go up to the 8000 grit sandpaper to begin polishing (there are some guys out there who like to work through all 9 grits of Micro Mesh. If you feel up to it, by all means, go for it. I find that the 1500 grit works to knock out stubborn oxidation, while the rest of the pads don’t work as well for either oxidation removal or polishing. With most things, your mileage may vary on this one). Give the stem a good scrub with the 8000 grit Micro Mesh to build up a good base shine, wet sanding as you did with the 1500 grit. After this is done, move on up to the 12000 grit to finish polishing. If you have done this right, by the time you are done with the 12000 grit, the stem should be nice and shiny and smooth and glossy, the way a pipe stem should be. We only have one more step to our stem, and that is cleaning the interior.

Get yourself some alcohol (the drinkable kind, not the rubbing kind). Anything 80 proof or over will do. I typically use Bacardi Rum on my pipes since it is clear, so I can see how much dirt I am removing from my pipe, and also the fact that it imparts a pleasant taste and smell to the pipe. Take a pipe cleaner, either bristled or non-bristled, dip the very end of it into the alcohol, and run it through the pipe stem. If the cleaner comes out dark brown or black, repeat this process with a dry pipe cleaner, and then run another alcohol dipped pipe cleaner through the stem, and again, follow it with a dry one. Repeat this process until the pipe cleaner comes out clear when both dipped in alcohol and run through dry. Give the stem a quick rinse, and run some cleaners through the stem to absorb any excess water from the rinse. This final step is optional, but I like to do it with all my estate pipes. I take some Obsidian Pipe Stem Oil treat my stems with it. I just follow the directions on the bottle: Rub on a thin layer, wait 30 minutes, then buff it out with a soft cloth. This will help prevent further oxidation and imparts a pleasant taste to your stem as well. Below are some pictures that highlight the transformation of our pipe stem.

Stem before the soak. You can see how oxidized the stem is already.

Stem after the Oxyclean soak. Yowza!

This is right after we hit it with the Magic Eraser

After the Micro Mesh and Obisidian. The stem looks brand new!

A good smear with your Obsidian Oil every once in a while will help keep the oxidation from coming back. The Micro Mesh sandpaper is the only thing listed in this article that you can’t find at your local supermarket, and if you live anywhere near a good wood working shop, you can likely find the kit that includes all nine grades of Micro Mesh. If you can’t find Micro Mesh locally, you can always order it online for a minimal price, plus shipping. So the next time you receive a pipe with a dirty, oxidized stem, just remember that some simple tools and some elbow grease will go a long way to get your stems looking nice and shiny.

Between the constant travel, the drain on finances from having to buy all the gifts, worrying about making that big Holiday dinner, and the in-laws that not only nag you for your pipe smoking but also continue to ask you when you’re going to get a “real” job, it’s understandable that the Holiday season often leaves a lot of people wanting to set more than their tobacco ablaze. I believe that, in a lot of ways, the Holiday season has lost it’s true meaning over the last couple of decades due to the over commercialization and frantic need to have the latest and greatest material things. I, for one, don’t get caught up in the “mad dash.” All my shopping was done a few days after Halloween. My time with the in-laws will be minimal. I have given out my list of all my desired pipe and tobacco related goodies, and even if I only get a few of them, I am OK with that. In these days leading up to the Holidays, everyone around me is running amok, trying to finish everything “last minute” and get everything wrapped and cooked and ready to go. Me? I’m sitting back with my pipe, quietly chuckling to myself, and thinking about the meaning of the Holiday.

The Holiday season is supposed to be a time for being thankful for what you have, and for being around the ones you love and care about the most. I think that in a lot of ways, the hobby of pipe smoking has allowed me to cut down on the amount of stress I feel during the season(who says that there is no positive effect of nicotine?!), but it has also made me realize a few things about human nature and what the Holidays really mean to me.

As a general rule, pipe smokers are some of the most laid back people on Earth. I think part of this is because mastering the art of smoking and enjoying a pipe takes a certain amount of patience and practice, and if you don’t have that patience and aren’t willing to put in that practice, odds are, you are not going to stick with the hobby. I also believe that there is a far greater degree of patience that is required for the Holiday season. What gift will you buy for this person? Will this person like it? Did you buy enough food to cook for everyone? Did you over cook it? Did you undercook it? Is Uncle Howard getting drunk and telling everyone that story of how your wife ran away the day before the wedding? Geez, it’s no wonder people get stressed out this time of year. I have found that this Holiday season, pipe smoking has helped me to practice patience in all areas of my life, and that patience helped me to step back, look at my Holiday plan, have everything done early, and gave me more time to enjoy my pipe. I also remembered not to invite Uncle Howard to dinner this year.

And don’t think that I am trying to downplay the role of giving and sharing in the Holiday season. The sad reality is that there are people out there who have it way worse than we do, and we should keep all those people in our thoughts and prayers. I have taken part in a few different Secret Santa projects through various internet pipe groups, and it is quite an experience. I have also seen fellow pipe smokers who are gifting tobaccos and pipes to those less fortunate than themselves and those who are having tough times during the Holidays. I think that sharing our pipes and sharing tobaccos with one another and even maybe helping a newbie smoker out with advice, tobacco samples, and maybe basic supplies is a good way to not only enrich our lives and make not only us feel better, but give newbie smokers a good impression of who we are as a community, and is a small way of reaffirming the “Holiday spirit.”

So what exactly am I meditating on here, you might ask? Well, as we all know, the Holidays are a frantic time for all of us, and we will never completely alleviate the stress that comes with this time of the year. There are a lot of us who like to kick back, perhaps with some good music or good television, light up a bowl of good tobacco, and let the worries of the world melt away for a while, lost in the taste and aroma and sensation and ritual of a good tobacco. I think that this Holiday season, we should use our pipes as a tool to not only help us beat the stress that we all feel, but also a parallel to remind us how to be more patient in our lives and more patient with the season. Plan ahead. Get organized. Put in for time off work. We should also let our nature as pipe smokers help to make us better people. Share a pipe or share tobacco with a fellow smoker who is down on his or her luck. Or even if you have friends who don’t smoke, do a good deed for them. Help shovel their driveway. Send them a card and some cash. Or just let them know that you are thinking of them this Holiday season.

 This community is filled with some of the greatest people that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and if we all do our part, we can not only greatly reduce the stress that we feel this time of year but can help make the season more joyful and uplifting for other people in our lives, and if we can achieve that, we will be doing better than most. A lot of people may have lost their way these last few years and forgotten what the true meaning of the Holiday season is, but if we can let our pipes enrich our lives and continue to be the great, kind, generous people that we are all known for being, then we may yet restore the true meaning of the Holidays. So light up your pipe. Kick back. Share your tobacco and share a pipe or anything else you have to share. Eat way too much at that big dinner. Laugh at the in-laws, even if their jokes really aren’t all that funny. But most importantly, don’t let the Holiday season get you down, and more importantly, enjoy the Holidays, and enjoy your pipes.

I have heard the phrases “pipe snob” and “tobacco snob” bandied about in forums and in pipe smoking videos on the internet, and I suppose that like any hobby, there are people who take a lot of pride in their discriminating taste in flawless briar and their search for the perfect blend (as you can probably tell by the title of this post, I am NOT a discriminating pipe smoker. I love all pipes and tobaccos equally). Sure, I love a good artisan blend as much as the next guy, but I also enjoy smoking those packets of tobaccos you buy at the cigarette shop, and everything in between. The enjoyment of a pipe for me is not finding the perfect pipe or the perfect blend. It is about the act of smoking a pipe, the ritual of the smoke, and everything that goes with it.

Now don’t think that I am trying to discount the importance of a good tobacco. After all, that is half the experience of pipe smoking, right? I have heard a lot of talk about what constitutes “good” tobacco. The reality is, saying that a certain tobacco is good is like saying “Jazz is good.” Me? I love Jazz. A lot of my friends? When the Jazz comes on, they start snoring. Like music, people like different tobaccos for different reasons. I have heard a lot of pipe smokers bash a lot of drug store blends and cheap aromatics, touting them as “Crap,” “Awful,” “Worthless,” etc. Drugstore classics have been around for decades for a reason: people out there like them, and they smoke them, and some people smoke them in pretty good quantity. I love buying drugstore tobacco because it is nostalgic. The first pipe tobacco that I ever bought came in that little pouch, and I remember ripping the tape on the pouch and unfolding it and smelling an intoxicating aroma, one that I found far more pleasant than the cigarettes all my friends smoked at the time. It evokes a pleasant memory, and not only do I like the ritual of a packet of tobacco, I think that a lot of them taste pretty darned good too. They are a little light on flavor, some may even have a slight bitterness, but I also enjoy the smell that they produce, and for me, the room note and the smell that lingers is half the fun for me.

The same thing goes for pipes. Again, don’t think I am trying to downplay the artisinal pipe makers and high quality factory pipes being made out there. I would love to own several, and the only thing stopping me from owning a few is the fact that, apparently, no matter how many times you specify you want the winning Lottery ticket, the clerk just can’t make that kind of guarantee. For me, a pipe serves two purposes: hold the burning tobacco and deliver the smoke produced by said tobacco to my mouth. Do some of the high dollar pipes enhance this experience? I have no doubt (I can’t really speak too much from experience. The nicest pipes I own are a hand carved pipe by a very gifted carver and a Savinelli that I bought as an estate. I will tell you with no hesitation that they are two of my best smokers). Do my pipes that do not have a name stamp or any markings offer a less pleasing smoke? Not in the slightest. My Medicos and Grabows smoke Boswell and Peterson blends just as well as my Savinelli and my hand carved pipe. If packed correctly and smoked correctly, they all offer a fine smoking experience, an experience that does not hinder the burn rate or the taste of the tobacco. It probably also helps that I am very particular about how I care for my pipes as well.

If you ARE a snob about your pipes or tobaccos, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you only get enjoyment out of smoking a hand blended tobacco using only the most quality product out of a pipe that is shiny, flawless, and with beautiful grain and no imperfections whatsoever, then by all means, keep doing what you’re doing. The point of pipe smoking, for me at least, is the satisfaction of the act itself, and if you can only get that with a high dollar pipe and a high end tobacco, then have at it. Me, on the other hand, I still enjoy smoking those bubble packaged pipes with the heavy stain and shiny lacquer, the ones that have bad rustication jobs and maybe the finish starts to bubble a little when it has been used a lot. I smoke a pipe because I want to, not because I have to, and if I didn’t enjoy it anymore, honestly, I don’t think that I would do it. There is an old addage out there for pipe smokers: Smoke what you like, and like what you smoke. I, for one, will smoke it all. G.L. Pease and Cornell and Diehl? Throw them at me, I love a lot of them. Captain Black and Borkum Riff? I love those too, send them my way. McClelland and MacBaren? Can’t get enough of them. Mixture #79?…OK, I have to admit, even I have my limits.

Maybe some day I will be a tobacco snob. Maybe a day will come when I will be older and wiser, more hardened to the ways of the world, and if I load my pipe with a blend that is anything less than pure bliss, I’ll toss it out with an upturned nose and say, “Pish posh! Does anyone have any Penzance in stock yet?!” But sadly, that day is not today, and that day may never come. Same goes for a pipe. There may be a day when I will not be satisfied until I have that meerschaum pipe that was carved into the shape of the Sydney Opera House (think for a second how cool THAT would be!), but again, that day is not today. And if you happen to be one of those people who finds Captain Black or Borkum Riff or Middleton Cherry or Half and Half “disgusting” or “garbage,” then feel free to send it my way. I’ll be happy to load it in my beat up old Medico and smoke it for you.

Chances are, all of us have bought something off Ebay at one time or another, be it a pipe, a computer game, a baseball card, or even a human hand (I’m not judging you if you have bought a human hand off Ebay, by the way. A friend of mine once had a running bid on the state of Tennessee). And like any Ebay buyer, if you have bought a pipe from someone off Ebay, you have probably experienced the occasional “lemon”, a pipe that looks like it got chewed up by a Pit Bull and then dropped into a septic tank (and probably smells like one too.) If this has happened to you, I feel your pain, but don’t get discouraged. Let me tell you about some things that I have learned in my time as an Ebay pipe buyer that will not only help you get good pipes for a great price, but with a little elbow grease, you can even make these pipes into some real beauties.

Tip 1: Know Your Spending Limit.

This is good advice for any Ebay purchase, but it is especially true with pipes. Consider the following factors: brand name, the current bid, how many bids have been placed, how much time is left, and how much you are willing to spend. Consider the fact that you might have to spend some time and effort to get this pipe smokable again and how much work it is going to take given the photos that you see. If the time and effort it is going to take to make the pipe smokable outweighs the current asking price, just walk away. Odds are, it’s not worth it to scrub and sweeten a high dollar pipe when you could have spent the same amount of money for a new pipe and avoided all the hassle.

Tip 2: Know Your Seller

I make it a policy not to buy from anyone who has had less than 100 sales and has anything lower than 95% positive feedback. Your experiences may vary, of course, but this is a good rule that I like to live by. I have my usual Ebay sellers that I always buy from (and I will NOT tell you who they are. I mean, a fellas got to have his secrets, right?), and I buy from them either because they sell a good product that is readily smokable at a fair price, or they sell junker pipes that need a lot of attention and elbow grease, but they sell for dirt cheap, and I don’t mind doing the work to make them clean again.

Tip 3: As Long as a Pipe is Complete and Has Airflow, It Can Be Made Smokable, If Not Beautiful

When buying an Ebay pipe, look at the pictures and examine it as soon as you get it.  Make sure of a few things. 1) That the stem is complete and is not cracked, broken, or, most important of all, is missing. 2) Look at the wood. Are there any major cracks or splits that would render the pipe unsmokable? 3) Once the stem and shank have been sanitized and scrubbed, can you draw air all the way through the pipe? If your pipe meets all three of these criteria, your pipe can be smokable, and with a little effort and determination, you can almost make it look as good as your buddy’s Dunhill. Sure, it doesn’t have the name behind it, but he paid $300 for his and you only paid $10 for yours, which leaves you with an extra $290 to buy tobacco to smoke in your new pipe. On the other hand, you still don’t have a Dunhill, and let’s face it, it probably still doesn’t look as good as a Dunhill, but if your intention is purely to smoke it, it should still do a good job.

Cost of these two pipes combined was $22. They smoke as good as any pipe that cost me double that.

Tip 4: You Don’t Need to Spend a Lot of Money on Restoration Tools

I have bought a considerable amount of my pipe collection off Ebay, and I have gotten some really incredible smokers that look great without breaking the bank on things like buffing wheels, waxes, tenon turners, replacement stems, and all that jazz. There are some of you out there who would prefer to have all that equipment handy, and if I had the money and the space to store it, I’m sure that I would have these tools too. But the majority of my Ebay estates, I have made perfectly smokable and beautiful with the help of a few simple, household tools: Oxyclean, Magic Eraser Pads, Micromesh Sandpaper, Pipe Cleaners, Salt, and High Proof Alcohol (anything 80 proof and over will do, both for the pipe and for personal consumption in celebration of a fine, fine job). An Oxyclean soak and a combination of the Magic Eraser and Micro Mesh will get your stems looking black and shiny again. Treat the inside of the bowl with salt and alcohol, scrub the inside of the stem and shank with a cleaner dipped in alcohol and VOILA! You have a pipe that is perfectly smokable and, if you did a good enough job, it should look pretty darned good too.

Tip 5: If You Do Have to Send Your Pipe Off to Get Fixed, Trust Your Repair Person

There will be times when you will buy a pipe that has a flaw that you can’t see from the pictures, and it will be a flaw that you can’t fix yourself, so you will need to send it off to a repair person. It could be anything from re-stemming a pipe to fixing a crack in the briar to drilling a new airhole into the pipe. In this event, trust the person that you send your pipes to. I bought a bunch of estate pipes off Ebay when I first started back up on the pipe, and they were all in really rough shape. I needed some repair work done, and I called a gentleman who seemed reputable to me based off of several internet pipe groups. A few phone calls, $100, and three months of waiting later, I received the same pipes I had received from Ebay, in no better shape than they were when I sent them off and out all that money to boot. Needless to say, it is no one affiliated with this site or anyone who posts on these forums, but I will never rely on this person again, for repairs or anything pipe related.

I realize that some people out there have been burned by Ebay too many times in the past to warrant buying pipes from the service, and it’s like the old addage goes: Caveat Emptor. I do not have the luxury of having a good B&M close by, and even the one that I do have has a very limited selection of pipes, and, like most people in this economy, I am on a budget, so doing the Ebay thing is about the best way for me to get a quality pipe at a decent price, particularly because I don’t mind doing to the work to make it beautiful again. I will close this train of thought by showing you one of my favorite smokers to date: It is a straight pipe with no markings or manufacturer name that I picked up on Ebay for a mere $10. It was fully restored by the person selling it, and it smokes like a dream.

A pipe for a great cost that took no work on my part.

The stem is nice and deep black, has a very open draw to it, and the wood is thick and chunky so it absorbs a lot of heat and offers a cool smoke. Now, it’s not perfect. It has a couple of tooth marks in the stem, and there are a couple of very minor flaws in the briar. Is it beautiful? Not by most people’s standards. Do I care? No. This pipe facilitates a cool, sweet, long burning smoke, and that is all I ask out of any of my pipes. I have never found a briar pipe as good as this one for what I paid for it, and this is proof positive that there are some real gems on Ebay. You just have to look for them.

It is safe to say that there a number of stereotypes that are connected to people who smoke a pipe. It’s either the guy with the big, horn rimmed glasses and the tweed jacket, or the guy with his nose upturned at the country club, or your Dad or Grandfather who had a pipe hanging out of their mouths when they were cutting the grass and sitting on the dock with a fishing pole in hand. While it’s true that pipes are still being enjoyed by college professors and professional and amateur anglers alike, most people don’t imagine that the 20 something, tech savvy, Iphone wielding college bound crowd are lighting up a briar, but apparently, there’s a new generation of pipe smokers on the rise.

At the age of 18, I picked up my first little Dr. Grabow pipe and a pouch of Borkum Riff Whiskey tobacco at the local drugstore. What prompted this purchase? As an eager and vainglorious young lad, the answer came to me when I saw the (then to me) elegant shape of the pipe and the cool little bend in the stem and the beautiful grain in the wood: I knew that if it was hanging out of my mouth, I would instantly become cool. Hey, it works for the guys in the movies, right? Little did I realize how uncool it would be when I got it home, crammed the tobacco in as firmly as I could, and torched the tobacco and the rim of my pipe. After I had an asthma attack from trying to draw on my overfilled pipe and my tongue felt like someone had used it to sharpen a straight razor, it was evident to me that I looked pretty far from cool as I gasped for air and I couldn’t taste anything. Needless to say, it was unpleasant, at best, and I can already hear the hearty laughs of the seasoned smokers or the wincing groans of the smokers who remembered doing this for the first time as they read this.

My First Pipe Purchase Some Six Years Ago. I Still Enjoy This Dr. Grabow To This Day.

I was a wreck, but thankfully, I had an invaluable tool to help me learn: the internet. With some studious reading and a little patience, my smokes greatly improved.

A recent article states that more and more college students are picking up a briar pipe, and I’m sure that many, like me, consulted the internet to get the hang of the basics, as there are several good resources out there about pipe smoking and pipe care. So why are younger kids taking up pipe smoking? Could it be that they are vainglorious lads, like myself, seeking an air of cool that they believe a pipe can achieve? Are they being taught by their relatives who have been smoking pipes for decades? Are they looking for a more economical and enjoyable way to enjoy a good tobacco, alternative to, lets say, cigarettes? Whatever the case may be, I believe that the 20 something crowd embracing the pipe is one of the best things happening in the industry right now. The new blood and the fresh perspective and the willingness to learn about different tobaccos, pipes, pipe shapes, and smoking techniques can only drive the industry upward, which is, I believe, where it has been going for quite a while now, despite the crazy schemes and scare tactics of the “Antis”. One look at the forums right here on this fine site shows the number of newer, younger smokers joining us each day, without any signs of slowing down.

I think that there is a simple reason that pipe smoking is not represented in pop culture and the media as much as it has been in the past: the general public sees pipe smoking as ancient, phased out, something that went away with disco and flower power. But I honestly think that if the younger crowd sticks with it, if the 20 something crowd is still smoking a pipe into their 30s and 40s and beyond, it will send a message to the general public that pipe smoking is alive and well, and it’s not just in the hands of the Dads and the Granddads anymore. With the number of tobacco blends and the number of people making pipes and the options that are available to us via the internet, the young and the seasoned smokers both have the world at their fingertips, limited only by their imagination and their credit limit. I know that some of the more seasoned smokers out there view us 20 something smokers with certain skepticism, thinking that we won’t have the patience or the perseverance to keep smoking, but I don’t think the younger crowd is going anywhere any time soon, or at least I hope they aren’t. If pipe smoking continues to grow and expand as it has since I have been smoking a pipe, then the sky is the limit, both for the industry and for the smokers themselves.