Anti-Smoking Snobs

I have always been a loner, but of late I find myself going more and more into Hermit Mode

All the company I need is my iPod, my Neerup Pipes and my Lancer’s Slices

It has become a habit for me to go down in the afternoons to what is know as “The Temple by the Sea” (Image Below) which is just 3 miles away from home.

For some unknown reason, people keep wanting to talk to me when I have my earphones on.

BUT TODAY WAS THE BEST

I am sitting down listening to a Comedy, enjoying a delicious bowl of Latakia Laced Lancer Slices.

A woman comes up to me and starts talking, so I take out my ear buds and look at her.

She take this as an invitation to starts to lecture me, “Don’t you know smoking is unhealthy.”

I respond with “Thank you I was unaware of that, but I think its actually very healthy.”

With a puzzled look o her face she inquires “How is that?”

Serious as a judge I respond “It keeps away pest like sandflies, mosquitoes and people I don’t want to talk to.”

I put back the earbuds in my ears. I saw her talking away, but the words were mercifully drowned out by my favorite podcast Keith & the Girl. She eventually wondered off.

Stupid cow, she would be lucky is a drunk homeless man paid her any attention, so why is she trying to pick me up, since she obviously is a holier than thou anti-smoker.

Next time a woman like that approaches me, I’ll say “Lady all the Viagra in the universe could not make me hard for you, so I need something else like smoking to occupy my time.”