I know this does not matter but I am a info geek. How does the member status work I see some people have 800 posts and are members and other have 700 posts and are senior members and someone elese has 500 post and is a prefered member?
I know this does not matter but I am a info geek. How does the member status work I see some people have 800 posts and are members and other have 700 posts and are senior members and someone elese has 500 post and is a prefered member?
You get Prefered Member when you send Kev 3 stones of G.L. Pease 'Westminster' and a nice Dunhill pipe (any will do as he's not fussy)
LOL excav8tor.
Here's how it currently works.
That was helpful Kevin,Thank you jship079 for raising the question.
Thanks guys. I'd wondered about it myself.
Don't worry Kevin, I won't tell any of them about the secret decoder ring.....Uh....Oops!
-Jason
This seems to be a reoccurring question. Do you just have it saved somewhere now Kevin? Haha.
I won't tell any of them about the secret decoder ring.....Uh....Oops!
-Jason
Some people just can't keep a secret...
After spending 10 minutes in the bathroom decoding, my latest secret message was:
"Don't forget to support PM.com's site sponsors."
An F-in' commercial !?
Thanks for this info.....I'm still waiting for the decoder ring in the mail...
Just send me 45 box tops and a pound of Mac B Vanilla Flake and I'll look into the missing ring.
Well, my membership status odometer just turned over again, and I've picked-up a new title.
Being designated a Preferred Member is indeed an honor. I'm so proud to have stuck it out so long! I want to thank the staff at PipesMagazine.com and all the members who have made me feel welcome here. Not only does my new status make me feel special, but I was surprised by Kevin's unwarranted thoughtfulness and impeccable timing: my Official PipesMagazine.com Preferred Membership Packet appeared in the mail this very morning.
I was so excited to find this in the mail. I hastily tore it open, and the first thing I found was a very nice congratulatory letter on an official PipesMagazine.com letterhead. It read, "Dear Preferred Member, Thanks." It was signed: Kevin Godbee, Owner, Publisher, and all around Kahuna. Well, OK, I wasn't expecting 800 words of effusive praise, but "Thanks" seemed a little bit, uh... terse. The letter is, however, suitable for framing (if you're into dot-matrix printers!) I suppose once PipesMagazine.com starts operating in the black they'll get an inkjet. In the mean time I'll proudly display it -- face down, in my printer's paper tray. [Memo to Kevin: next time use softer paper so either I or Mrs. Cortez can put it to better use.]
But there is so much more in my Official PipesMagazine.com Preferred Membership Packet, so on to the good stuff. The second item I found inside is my Official PipesMagazine.com Preferred Member I.D. card:

I didn't have a chance to scan the back of the card, where the fine print is, but it says, "The PipesMagazine.com Preferred Member named hereon is entitled to all the privileges and benefits appertaining to said organization; which includes, and is in fact limited to, a one-time 10% discount on a bowling shoe rental at any participating AMF bowling alley in the greater St. Petersburg area. Offer expires... yada yada... non-transferrable, non-redeemable, no cash value, yada yada..." Well, I don't bowl, but at any rate now I have credible identification to present the next time I get carded at a local B&M.
Now on to the good stuff: the packet included my much anticipated Official PipesMagazine.com Secret Message Decoder Ring:

It is a genuine simulated-metal decoder complete with my first Official PipesMagazine.com Secret Message. After struggling with arthritic hands for twenty minutes in a locked bathroom, with Mrs. Cortez impatiently pounding on the door and shouting a whiney, "Let me in", I finally deciphered my first official PipesMagazine.com Secret Message: "besuretopurchaseonlyfrompipesmagazinecomsponsors" A commercial? An effin' commercial?
Slump-shouldered and disillusioned, I plodded heedlessly past a frantic Mrs. Cortez dashing for the commode, and made my way back to the den to dig deeper into the Official PipesMagazine.com Preferred Membership Packet. Groping for the good stuff, what I retrieved, lo and behold, was an official, genuine plastic PipesMagazine.com license plate bracket:

...which, presumably, I can proudly display while driving from Chicago to a participating St. Petersburg AMF bowling alley to make good on my 10% shoe rental discount. Although I don't drive all that much, I like the idea.
Impatiently rummaging near the bottom of the Official PipesMagazine.com Preferred Membership Packet, I fingered what promised to be the pièce de résistance -- the really good stuff -- the very thing I had been waiting for this whole year -- the reward for sticking it out: the Official PipesMagazine.com Pipe Of The Year 2010 !! ............yyyyyYES !! Uh... what the....?

Well, OK ... OK now, that's a really nice gesture. Given all the smart-ass comments over the past year I was really expecting a gesture of a different kind; but this'll do nicely...
FOR SOMEBODY WHO GETS OFF SUCKING DESICCATED VEGETABLE PITH !!
Thank you sooo much Kevin, now I only need 4 more to make it into the (ahem) Corn Cob Club.
Just before I pulled out that pipe I remember feeling something else, [maybe the really good stuff?] hiding all scrunched-up at the bottom of my Official PipesMagazine.com Preferred Membership Packet. It was perhaps the most thoughtful, and useful of all: an official PipesMagazine.com genuine latex tobacco pouch:

An enclosed slip states that it is waterproof, inflatable if need be, and features five separate chambers that afford the user some variety while out and about. Now how nice is that ?
So, with the contents of the Official PipesMagazine.com Preferred Membership Packet spread out on the desk before me, the now-relieved Mrs. Cortez entered, surveyed the situation, shook her head in bewilderment, and left the room muttering something about going out for a new pair of shoes.
Since I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, accept my thanks, Kevin. It's been really worthwhile hanging around for a whole year; reading every article and blog, offering largely ignored comments; posting 5 times a day; and spending hundreds on tobacco with your sponsors (imagine how many pairs of shoes Mrs. Cortez is now entitled to!) While the Official PipesMagazine.com Preferred Membership Packet isn't exactly what I'd call a killer promotional, it's the thought that counts. As for the e-zine, we can all thank God that Bob is by your side, like a yeoman, putting some meat on the bone.
So what's the next membership milestone? Stick around all y'all, to see if pstlpkr, the Mod, gets a chance to drop the hammer on me during the coming year, or I manage to stay out of his sights long enough to become a... Cherished Member. (As I understand it, that's when you get the really good stuff.)
ROTFLMAO That was to damn funny now I have to stick around for a year to get that kick ass package
LOL, I almost pissed my pants when I saw the tobacco pouch. My wife is still looking at me lick I have a mental defect.
That has got to be the Post of the Year. I haven't laughed that much in a long time.
If you do win the Post of the Year Award I wonder what the prize will be!!!
You enjoy that Cob you deserve it . Remember to remove the filter and excess glue with a Exacto knive before lighting up for the first time . By the way that looks to be a single dot Dunghill corn cob . It is my understanding that the cobs come from a abandoned privy in Yorkshire England . A rare gift indeed for a such a fine , upstanding member . My advice on the bowling would be go for it and keep the shoes . They make fine house shoes for those cold winters yall get up north of the Mason Dixson line . I hear at ten years and ten thousand posts they throw in a pouch of Mixture 79 from 1950 that has been taken out of every stolen box pass and returned to sender . Best Wishes . LMAO
Wow that was beyond funny!!!!
Thank you for making my night!
lmfao I had to clean my screen after that, Cortez you got to be the funiest person on this forum, thanks for the laughs
ROFLMAO, great post cortez
OH LORDY!!!!!!!!!! I nearly hurt myself snorking coffee out my nose!
Holy S#!t... I nearly passed out from laughter when I got to the latex pouch... My daughter has, once again in less than 4 days, looked at me like I'm severely handicapped and asked if I need help... Thanks for that. I'd second post of the year but, I still think Hauntedmyst's "CROP DUSTING" post takes the cake (or crackers in his case). I really liked the oft-referred Decoder Ring.
Excellent post, cortez! I look forward to your next "promotion"...
-Jason
*edit* - made hyperlink more visible...
Ya, that episode in the Dollar Store was a real hoot -- all the more so because it probably is a true story. You know, of course, that Haunted and I share the same drinking water. Hmmmmm.....
@Igloo, thanks for the angle on renting the shoes and walking off with them. I went to the AMF website and searched the St. Pete area for an AMF bowling alley. There were none! Too funny!
Tobacco pouch? I missed it. I thought it was a meerschaum smoking glove.
I always thought a Persian slipper was an appropriate tobacco pouch.
Haha did you really get a packet? Or is this just a story?
Would I lie to you, Bill? If you don't believe me, just ask Kevin.
... of course, that depends on whether you trust him.
Kevin is...*snick* UTTERLY TRUSTWORTHY. NEVER DOUBT KEVIN.
(He's here. Help me...)
HA. THAT WAS A FUNNY POST. I ALSO CANNOT WAIT TO BECOME A PREFERRED MEMBER.
[Edit: Shoot, small text isn't supported.]
OMG, Haunted post was a riot. I just read it snot coming out of my nose tears running down my face and my wife just staring at me once again. I don't care what age you are FARTS ARE FUNNY!
I'm confused Larry.
Did you like the Preferred Membership Packet or not?
There are AMF Bowling Alleys in Clearwater and Tampa that are participating in the offer. Or you can come to my office and bowl since the wood floors like a little bit like a bowling alley.
Seriously though, LMFAO.
And I am very happy to report that we have been operating in the black for the last two quarters. No kidding there.
I now hereby make you a Cherished Lifetime Member, which means you can never leave as this place wouldn't be the same without you.
The first three sentences of that post roast were sincere. I can't think of any other online forum that would have tolerated the rest of it.
Happy to be here, offering a little cheer. Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends and antagonists
ps. How about putting some additional thought and creativity into those Official PipesMagazine.com Secret Messages.
Congratulations Larry,
If anyone deserves it you do.
Kevin- How many posts do I need to become a PIPE LORD?
Thats my goal.
World domination and all that.
I can't wait to get my packet!!!! Only 8 months to go....
LMAO Larry!
That post is classic!
Don't forget guys, that since Our Illustrious Leader made smiley's available to all of us posters, when addressing Kevin
in the forums his name MUST be accompanied by a
I love these smiley's. Can we have some more?
kind regards
Mark
@mlaug
Kevin- How many posts do I need to become a PIPE LORD?
100-million.
@excav8tor
I love these smiley's. Can we have some more?
I'll add some more in the future.
Much
going on here....

I just made it to "Junior Member". At 60 years of age, it's been quite a while since being a junior anything. Thanks for the honor of being part of this fine community.
Congratulations John! You may not have been a member for a long time, but I'll bet it has seemed like it!
I feel like I have been on here for a long time, it is weird to think that it has really only been about 3 months!
Well, Jeremiah, you've been a real spark plug in the forums! And look, as of this post you're pushing the 1,000 mark. I think we all look forward to your posts and the reports of what you're up to in the hobby.
Congratulations Seak a yak.
You too Bubba.
We're glad that you both have become such good members.
Thank you cortez and lawrence!
Great having both you guys on here. Always something interesting.
Being just a "Member" makes it sound like a sexual reference..." his massive member thrust deeply"
Thanks, gentlemen. It truly is a pleasure to be counted among you all.
Seriously, we're glad to have you.
Oh lord...I've been let in on the in-jokes...
Thanks, now I have to clean up the computer desk from the tea spraying out my nose. Great post, Cortez.
OMG OMG OMG......quick, someone throw me the toilet paper!!!!!
Cortez, that post kills! Well crafted and hilarious!
Fun stuff
here it is, page one on this thread...........
awesome
I'm nearing 1,300 posts and still a Senior Member, which is perfectly fine with me. Its just nice to be part of this fine community.
Cortez-I can't stop laughing! That was great!
I still love this thread!
I didn't even notice passing 6k. I'm just a blabbermouth!
This thread cracks me up, I think it should be made a sticky!!
From hobie1dog Being just a "Member" makes it sound like a sexual reference, and from baskerville I think it should be made a sticky!!. Now lets keep an eye out for sticky members
Now lets keep an eye out for sticky members
You know...I had the same thought...
If y'all get sticky it won't be because of your member status...
Having been around computers, BBS', on-line forums for longer than I care to admit, this is the coolest one I've ever been a part of. Thank you all for the advice, the humor, and the interest you show in everyone who shows up. Y'all are most cool!
(As a long-ago "cryppie," I really love the decoder ring!)
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