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Young Pipe Smoker - Parents?

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  • Started 3 years ago by ozziepiper
  • Latest reply from foggymountain
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    ozziepiper

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    Hi Everyone,

    I'm looking at taking up pipe smoking in the next month or so. I've been really interested in it for about a year and have been watching all the youtube pipers which has been extremely helpful and enjoyable. I'm a 19 year old architecture student from Tasmania, Australia. Bear with me, it's a long post. Just the story of my journey to pipes and a question at the end.

    Well I recently moved to a different city about 200km away for university so now I have the freedom to do what I want. I recently found out that (after my interest in pipes started) my grandfather had been an avid pipe smoker when my Dad was a kid but he gave it up at some point so I've never seen him smoked, only seen a few awesome pipes sitting unused on his shelf.

    My Dad was a cigarette smoker for around 20 years and eventually gave it up when I was about 12, although I never knew he smoked because he didn't do it when I was around and never smelt of tobacco. I did notice the gum and patches though, but I never really realised what they were for. Once I got older he talked to me about it and how hard it was to quit and told me to never ever smoke.

    Well I had a firm anti-smoking stance for years but over time that evolved and changed. Being around the occasional family relation that smoked cigarettes, I got used to the smell and started to like tobacco smoke, as much as cigs are gross. After a few years I thought about trying a cigarette just once to at least have had one once. Before this happened my father told me that he had once shared a cigar in celebration of my birth with a friend and that got me thinking about cigars so I did some reading. I really liked the idea of not inhaling and lack of addiction if you don't inhale.

    Well I found out shortly after that a friend of mine had started smoking cigars so we took a trip to the local tobacconist and picked out the cheapest full sized cigar we could get. A La Paz Corona for $7, which just shows how ridiculously expensive tobacco is in Australia (most decent cigars are over $20). I loved it so much and decided I'd keep on with it. At a friend's birthday a few months later the same friend brought with him some gigantic Royal Jamaica cigars so we sat outside for almost two hours enjoying those and chatting. I also smoke cigarillos on and off, which I enjoy.

    At this point I realised this was going to be far too expensive for me to enjoy regularly. I had a friend who's Dad smokes a pipe and so I talked to him about it. It was now I discovered pipes on youtube and my attention was captured.

    Well now that I've moved out of home I've decided to finally get some pipes. They are so damn expensive here and so is the tobacco (on average about $50 for a 2oz tin), not to mention they are almost impossible to find in Australia, even online. I've decided to buy off the net from the US and decided on a Savenelli, Bjarne and Missouri Meerschaum. Since I've had some experience with cigars I've decided to go for more English tobacco like Samual Gawith's Squadron Leader and McClelland's Frog Morton.

    I spend about half of the week in my home city and the other half studying away. I'd like to smoke at home but I'm not sure if I should tell my parents that I want to smoke a pipe. I know my Dad is a huge anti-tobacco guy now that he's quit and I think he would be extremely disappointed in me. Then again, he may see how I don't get addicted and limit my use due to the different habits. My parents cover all my living and studying expenses and I know they wouldn't stop that if I started smoking, but I don't really want to get 'in the bad books' so to speak. What advice do you guys have? I wouldn't be smoking indoors so it's not like I'd stink out their house. I'm sure they'll find out at some point anyway but is it worth telling them and asking if I can smoke at home? I'm sure they'll get over it quickly but I don't want to upset them or get them angry. I would describe our relationship as about as good as a parent-child relationship can be, we get on extremely well. Sometime my Dad seems like more of a friend than a father, until I step out of line that is

    Any advice would be very appreciated. Once again, sorry for the long post.

    OzziePiper

    Posted 3 years ago #
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    Anonymous

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    Honesty is the best policy! You have made some good decisions on pipes and tobacco. since you like Cigars may I recommend C&D's Billy Bud, a great cigar leaf blend. Good luck on your quest!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  3. jankomatic

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    Calmly explain the differences in cigarette tobacco and pipe tobacco. While smoking a pipe isn't the perfectly healthy, it isn't like smoking cigarettes. Appeal to their intelligence.

    Towards danger; but not too rashly, nor too straight
    Posted 3 years ago #
  4. winton

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    Since they are still supporting you, they have a huge influnce on you behavior. I agree with the others that honesty is the best policy. If they are concerned about the addiction issue, suggest that you stop smoking for a month. Obviously, if you can drop the habit for a month, you are not addicted. But, you might find that tobacco has a stronger attraction than you initially believe.

    Winton

    Posted 3 years ago #
  5. papipeguy

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    I started pipe smoking at 18. My parents were aware but not overly pleased. They treated like a passing phase that all college men go through. Well, it didn't quite go that way. My father was a 2 pack a day guy who gave up the "sticks" in 1981 and , like many former smokers, abhors smoke. When I visit them, like today, I respect their home and smoke outside.
    I guess my point is that I didn't hide it from them but respect them enough that even today at 59 years old I don't subject them to my habit. We have a peaceful coexistance that works. That and the fact that I pretty much do as I please; But I've earned that privelege.

    Blowin' smoke since 1970.
    Posted 3 years ago #
  6. fullbent

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    Honesty is the best policy! You have made some good decisions on pipes and tobacco. since you like Cigars may I recommend C&D's Billy Bud, a great cigar leaf blend. Good luck on your quest!

    Took the words right out of my mouth baskerville

    "If you can't sent money, send tobacco."
    -George Washington to the Continental Congress, 1776
    Posted 3 years ago #
  7. krgulick

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    Indeed, I agree with the others in that honesty is the best route to go. If you explain it to them straight away, instead of hiding it, it will somewhat make it easier on them and you in the end. I second the suggestions on the tobacco choices above my post. Good luck with this. Hope to see your posts as to how things turn out for you.

    Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are small and crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    Posted 3 years ago #
  8. ssjones

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    Hmm, different opinion here. I have two daughters, both recently graduated from college and living away from home. I know they are adults, but there are some things that I would rather not know they are doing versus sharing. This might be a good example. The oldest started smoking cigarettes in college, than quit, than recently started again. I'm not a fan, but she's an adult and who am I to point fingers. She doesn't smoke around me, which is appreciated. Given your fathers history, this is one thing you might want to not lie about, but not share either, until you get older (ie: graduate from college, be self-supporting). They worry about you anyway, with school, living away from home, etc. Why add one more worry? (and in this case needless, unless your cash is tight) Given your fathers's history, I doubt he'll understand "its not really bad for you like cigarettes". Non-smokers just assume all smoking is the same. Trying to convince pipe smoking is not harmful will probably cause more angst for him than peace of mind. Just one suggestion from a father who has been there.

    Al

    Posted 3 years ago #
  9. jcsoldit

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    I'm a father of four and just happen to have a son in college your age. I don't want or need to know everything he tries while away at school. As they say I've been there and done that literally myself when I was young and away from home.

    But in this case you are considering taking up something you may enjoy for many years to come so I would suggest you be up front with your parents once you know pipe smoking is something you really enjoy and want to continue. Most of us parents get upset when our children do or try something we don't approve of, but we tend to get downright mad when not told the truth.

    As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
    Posted 3 years ago #
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    ozziepiper

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    Thanks for all the replies everyone. I'm definitely going to tell them, I agree honesty is the best policy. It might not be as soon as I get my pipes but I'll definitely do it sooner rather than later. I've never really done anything before that my parents would question, I'm not like most teenagers in that respect but I do think on this is an important issue they should know about.

    They'll get over it quickly I think, within a week or two. It's just the initial conversation that will be hard, especially as this issue will seem to come out of the blue for them.

    I've heard some great things about Billy Bud, I'll definitely give it a try.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  11. johnscs

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    I'll just add my two cents' to the general consensus here: I wouldn't try to hide your fondness for tobacco or your decision to take up the pipe. Keeping your pipe hobby under wraps might require more effort than it's worth, and your discovery of the pleasures of the pipe is likely to be revealed eventually, anyway. In my opinion, much better to continue to act as a responsible adult and prepare for the consequences of a perfectly reasonable decision.

    I'm not a parent, but I also struggled with the awkward decision to disclose my decision to smoke a pipe to my family. I was even a little younger than you. I think ssjones and JC have expressed a commonsense point of view: Parents of young adults probably don't want or need to know about every decision that their kids make (wise or unwise), and you have to remember that there should come a point when you're completely on your own and when your parents can't (or at least shouldn't) try to influence your lifestyle choices. Considering your age, apparent maturity, and the solid relationship you probably have with your parents, the disclosure conversation might not be as difficult or dramatic as you understandably imagine.

    In my case, I worried a lot about when and how to reveal that I had started smoking pipes, and for a few years, I smoked my pipe in secret. Like you, I also lived on campus, quite a distance from home. That experience gave me the freedom to explore pipe smoking as an adult, a privilege that I appreciated. Getting comfortable smoking my pipe more openly at school led me to realize that it had been a little immature for me to smoke my pipes in secret when at home. The "conversation" that you're anticipating arrived unexpectedly for me - I hadn't quite rehearsed as well as I'd have liked. The outcome was generally positive, though: I had made a big deal out of an event that turned out to be anti-climactic, as far as my mother's anticipated objections were concerned. The same may occur for you, but if not, I think the advice that's been offered here should help you prepare as well as you can for disclosing your well-reasoned decision to enjoy pipe smoking in moderation.

    Good luck with your parents and with your adventures as a pipe smoker!

    Posted 3 years ago #
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    oldmanwinter

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    Oz, I was in your position about sixteen years ago. My advice is this: If your folks are worthy of honor - honor them. If they have issues with your smoking, then either stop or talk with them and get it sorted.
    /storytime
    When I was eighteen, I bought a drug store filter pipe and a pouch of the Captain Black that my Father used to smoke and went at it. Initially, I would sneak around as well - after a year I realized that I wasn't really fooling much of anyone with that sh-t. I sat down with my Father one Sunday and spoke candidly to him about it. He'd quit years before...but he told me, "Well, I think it's a disgusting habit and I'm happy to be rid of it - but you're a grown man. If you want to smoke, that's on you - understand, I ain't payin' for it." I was surprised. I'd expected a lecture - even at nineteen. What I got was respect, because I approached him respectfully and didn't sneak about.
    A few months later, I'd saved enough disposable income for a proper pipe and pouch, so I hit my local B&M, bought a nice briar and sat down with a group of shop-regulars three times my age to learn everything they'd teach me about pipes, tobacco and the related etiquette. I've smoked pipes ever since - my Mother even made of a gift of a tobacco jar one Christmas. They may not like it, but if you're respectful, determined and self-funded, they'll get past it.

    Do watch your funds, seriously though. Pipe-lust can be a bitch on a student's wages...ask me how I know...

    (Oh...and uh...Hi folks)

    Posted 3 years ago #
  13. pipetrucker

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    I have a slightly different angle on this. Honesty is best, to be sure, but discretion is also valuable. I wouldn't try to hide it from them, but wouldn't necessarily bring it up with them either. If it comes up then explain it to them openly and honestly, otherwise let sleeping dogs lie.

    No need to create an unnecessary rift in the family harmony.

    Mason

    And though it is much to be a nobleman, it is more to be a gentleman. - Anthony Trollope
    Posted 3 years ago #
  14. ace57

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    Yes what pipetrucker said

    U.S.M.C. (SEMPER FI)
    Posted 3 years ago #
  15. smoker

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    Something no-one has mentioned and that is have you thought about tallking to yur dad about how he came to start smoking. Like everyone else here i agree honesty is best. I think by asking your dad how he started would be the way to open the discussion that your smoking a pipe.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  16. grouchy

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    the tree knows its apples will fall and never far away. the tree hopes that it's apple will not bruse or be eaten by a horse. but the tree know that when the apple begins to grow into a tree that it will bear the likness of fruit unto its own.

    Posted 3 years ago #
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    ozziepiper

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    Well there have been a few developments guys. I decided that I should not try to hide this at all, my parents would only see that in a bad way. At the same time, however, I just could not bring myself to start the conversation with my Dad and I knew if I told him I wanted to smoke a pipe before I bought one he'd just say "no, you're not". End of story.

    Because I couldn't bring myself to talk about it, I decided I'd force myself into it lol. I bought two pipes and a heap of accessories from smokingpipes.com a few weeks ago. I got a Savinelli Trevi rusticated billiard and a Peterson Aran bent billiard.

    Well all this stuff arrived in the mail today so my Dad came into my room while I was on my computer. "What this smokingpipes business?". So I told him I bought some pipes. "What, like indian peace pipes?". "No, real briar pipes". "Oh ok. But what for?" I just couldn't bring myself to say that I wanted to smoke them. "I just think they're cool"

    Well he was all interested and wanted me to unbox them in front of him and he inspected them and everything. His main comment was "well at least some of us have money to spend on stuff we don't need". He was surprisingly relaxed about it. Of course, I haven't told him yet that I intend to smoke them, he made it clear again that he didn't want me to do that. But he didn't confiscate them and he's comfortable with me having them.

    I've decided that I'll just keep them for a few weeks/months until he's comfortable about the idea of me having a few pipes lying around. Sometime soon I'll tell him that I do want to smoke one on occasion, someday. The key words being occasionally and someday. Hopefully he'll get over that and then I can start smoking much more regularly.

    I know all of this sounds stupid and possibly immature, but I just couldn't do it all in one go, it was just too hard. I think it's better to take it at a slower pace and let him get comfortable with each step, rather than disappointing him and having a huge arguement about it.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  18. thekiltedchaplain

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    You should tell them that you've gotten a few girls pregnant, and will be dropping out of school shortly. Then when they're very upset, just say "I'm kidding, I've just decided to smoke a pipe every once in a while". They will be so relieved.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  19. maduroman

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    as a father i say go with the chaplain's advice...

    Posted 3 years ago #
  20. ace57

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    In a few days say Dad remember the pipes I got, well let's try one. He just might do the Dad and Son thing with You.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  21. grouchy

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    dad already knows you smoke and is simply waiting for you to show good charactor and courage of the good honest man decisive in his decisions, good or bad, right or wrong and steadfast. respecting yourself enough to respect others. not just trying to hide and demonstrat half truths, he knows better and so will you. your dad most likely went through this in different guise and circumstances with your grandpa. he knows every trick in the book and has no doubts you will tell your sons the same thing. it's a father thing, you'll see. the type of father your father is that he wants; for you, in a good way, to be a better father to his grandsons. It's not his decision, and he knows that, its yours. a good father and mother both look back always in wonder if they were as good a parent as they wanted to be for you. that is their gift to you. cherish that, never forget. gotta say it again, the apple never falls far from the tree and thats a good thing. one day you will be that tree.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  22. ssjones

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    Sounds like a good outcome for the moment. If you are living at home and in his house, you do have the obligation of sharing. I thought from your earlier post, that you were away at college, which why I suggested just not sharing till you completed/graduated and got out on your own. But, in his house, you have to be wide open. My opinion as a dad.

    Posted 3 years ago #
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    ozziepiper

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    My Dad doesn't know that I've smoked anything before, so it would come as a bit of a shock. I just finished my first semester so I was home for holidays but during that time I decided to have a year off to work and do other stuff so I will be living at home again for the next year or so. That's why I decided not to hide it. Before I ordered my pipes I did tell my 17 year old brother, who had guessed I'd smoked a cigar before. He was quite skeptical about the whole idea, naturally. About a week later I was just talking to him about it again and realised he knew a lot about the different tobaccos, etc. Turns out he'd been reading online and realised that pipes are infact different to cigarettes. Now he's converted and wants to try a pipe once he's 18. He's not interested in doing it underage though.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  24. grouchy

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    dad, i love the pipe and hope you can accept that. i will not smoke in the house out of respect for you and mom and will not smoke in the house but outside.
    time has a way of working things out.
    in a hundred years will all be forgotten and wont matter.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  25. smoker

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    I see light at the end of your path young ozziepiper. Them new pipes you have as has already been mentioned ask your dad to have a smoke with you.

    Posted 3 years ago #
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    ozziepiper

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    I really would love to enjoy a pipe with Dad but on the other hand I don't. As awesome as it would be, I'd feel guilty about introducing him back to tobacco. It took him years to quit cigarettes and I know he would never use any form of tobacco again, even pipes. I know pipes are different to cigarettes but I just wouldn't feel comfortable asking him to use any tobacco product after all the years of effort he put in. It's funny, normally it's the parent discouraging their kids from smoking, but it looks like now I'm the son telling the parent. He grew up with a pipe smoking father so I guess he'd talk to him about me, I just hope that he comes to realise the differences between cigs and pipes. I don't think he's really concerned about the health risks, mostly just addiction.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  27. schmitzbitz

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    Something that you may want to file away in the back of your head for the inevitable conversation in regards to your grandfathers pipe-smoking vis-a-vie your pipe smoking: In your grandfathers day, pipes were used as a nicotine delivery system first and foremost, and often the pipers of old would be seen with a smoldering briar in their face from dawn to dusk. In this day and age, pipe-smoking is less of a habit, and more of a hobby. I liken the difference between a drunk and a connoisseur of fine wine...both are imbibing in alcohol consumption, but one is doing so for the enjoyment of the flavours (and likely won't be partaking daily), whilst the other is simply looking for a fix.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  28. grouchy

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    aha! now now we are getting somewhere
    like father like son. that's the way it works.
    five years to quit. quite understandable.
    tobacco companys, products to quit, anti smoking campains, etc., have spend billions of dollars hiring phycologists and their collegues, advertising agencies, etc.. that we want and need their products and cant get along with out. there is not succeeding. failure imminente. insults to the intellagence.
    night is day and day is night. i can i can't. BULL SHIT. been around breeding ranches, cattle and horses.
    hung like a bull, pencil dick better discription. hung like a horse, now THAT is a compliment
    most ex cigaretts smokers, are very adament to quit or never start. non smokers give it far less thought.
    your fathers intentions and your 'but and what if's' is just another like father like son attribute. in short love.
    that bond is unconditional no matter what to anything.
    casey anthony, guilty or not, nothing changes. with all her parents were put through, they were and are still there.

    you dont have to make a point of deliberatly starting the i want to smoke admission, guilt.
    in evey day conversation, just ask if thinks you are. if he gives you good or negative type feed back, then you know he has already accepted. you will have a greater peace with that than guilt secrets. he already knows, after all, he's your father. with uncomfortable revelations of that his son is growing up and shepparding becomming less and less needed.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  29. bigvan

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    Grouchy, this is just my opinion but perhaps you could tighten up your post a bit. I wasn't quite sure of the point you were trying to make and personally I could do without the vulgarities, please.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  30. wolfscout

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    Never forget that parents have that instinctive knowledge. He probably already knows you full well intend to smoke those pipes.
    Deception, even small and insignificant, is easily seen and demeaning. Just be a man and state it.

    Posted 3 years ago #
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    ozziepiper

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    Ok guys well looks like I finally have an end to the story so I thought I might share it with you.

    I talked with my Dad about me wanting to smoke a pipe and it did not go well at all. Firstly, despite his father being a daily pipe smoker for over 15 years, he refused to believe that pipes are not meant to be inhaled. He thought that pipes were in every way the same as cigarettes. After talking with him for well over an hour and showing him a few things on the internet, I finally managed to convince him that pipes and cigars are not meant to be inhaled.

    He still does not believe that pipes are less addictive than cigarettes if not inhaled. He says that even if I don't inhale, after a while I will be fully addicted and want to inhale for the nicotine hit. He also thinks it's garbage that people smoke pipes for taste, rather than just for a nicotine hit. He said "oh yeah, I tried menthol cigarettes which had a bit of a different taste, but people don't really smoke for taste". Of course you guys know that pipe smoke is all about taste.

    He told me it's a stupid idea, he can't believe that I would even consider it, and that he is absolutely not allowing me to do it and he'll burn my pipes if I ever buy tobacco. Looks like a lot of you hoped he'd react a bit differently than he did. He thinks that everything I know about pipes is just propaganda from a few pipe smokers who go online and make up lies to justify their addiction. Since I'm living at home again permanently, looks like I won't be smoking a pipe for at least 3 years and even when I do start, I'll be well into my 20's and still have to do it in private. Can't believe I turn 20 next month and I can't even make an informed decision to do something that is 100% legal. This is the first thing that I've ever really disagreed with my Dad about in a big way.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  32. philip

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    Well, Ozzie, in another 40 years you will think twenty is nothing. Just be glad you are young and don't worry about it. You have lots of time left to to make what you will of your life. There may be more important things to spend your energy on. Happy Birthday next month.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  33. jchaplick

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    Same boat, moved to college, smoke pipes, go home, dont smoke pipes. If i do, i usually go for a walk or a drive, my parents know, but dont talk about it, i like it, and it isnt crack, so i guess its ok

    Congress seems to believe that 'Children are our future' is a phrase coined by tobacco advertisers.
    Jef I. Richards
    Posted 2 years ago #
  34. nsfisher

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    my doctor once told me that he can tell if a patient has had a smoke within 2 days!!!! to a non-smoker, a smoker just puts off an unmistakable aroma. A non-smoking parent can tell if u have had a smoke within hours regardless of how well u try to mask it. Sorry to say mate, but ur dad already suspects!!!!!

    If at first you don't succeed, have another bowl.
    Posted 2 years ago #
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    jerome

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    I exactly know what you mean. My parents were mostly shocked but they are slowly just forgetting to talk about it or mention it. My dad and mom think it is like cigarette smoking too, but I think it is more like a hobby. Once you move out, you will be able to do what you want without your parents being able to approve or disapprove. Good luck!
    -Justin

    Posted 2 years ago #
  36. kamikazesasquatch

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    I haven't finished the thread yet so this may have already been mentioned but I have bad enough ADD that if I don't do things as they come to mind then I'll never do them. Has anyone seen my bike lately?
    I'm 29 and my parents don't know that I'm as avid a smoker as I am. I don't care if they know...I'm an adult and I'll do what I want. My mom just abhors any kind of tobacco (she kind of flipped out on me when I told her I occasionally smoked a cigar so I'd rather her not know I do several bowls a week). I don't think my dad would care but he has no secrets from mom so it's best to just keep them both in the dark. That being said, I have thought about using the pipe as a bonding experience with dad but then remembered that he used to smoke (never did around me so I don't always think about that). I wouldn't want to temp him with any kind of tobacco. As hard as it is to quit I'm sure he would take me up on it just to have a little bonding time, but I wouldn't want to introduce nic back into his life. That's something else to consider when listening to everyone else telling you to invite him to have a bowl with you. Just my $.02

    No, my name is spelled 'Luxury Yacht' but it's actually pronounced 'Throatwobbler Mangrove'.
    Posted 2 years ago #
  37. kamikazesasquatch

    kamikazesasquatch

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    Just finished reading. Sucks that he reacted that way. But, in my opinion, a pipe isn't worth ruining a relationship over. Plus, their house their rules But let me spread a little bit of propaganda I've been smoking an average of about 5 - 10 bowls a week for about a year (minus the first few months when I got to Afghanistan because I didn't bring any pipes with me). I've never felt that I NEEDED a pipe and can go days/weeks/months without one with no problem if I need to. For me, if it ever gets to the point where I feel I need it then that's when I will put it down for a while. I don't inhale other than the occasional French inhale, nor do I really pay that much attention to how much nic is in a tobacco. I just try what I like/what people tell me I'll like. No addiction whatsoever here.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  38. spartan

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    My personal experience with pipe tobacco could be compared to sugar. I didn't feel the need to have a pipe for the past 4 days because it's just uncomfortable outside. So I skip the piping and go to bed. It's much like soda at this point. I do admit I'm 100% addicted to the nicotine. It is very calming. And it feels oh so good. But It's just like sugar. I equate nicotine to sugar. We are GENETICALLY WIRED to crave sugar. That shit is hard to kick. And nicotine is no easier.

    But rarely will you find a pipe smoker outside in below freezng temps because they NEED to smoke.

    BUT TODAY, I have promised a pipe smoking to Bob because he has had quite the ordeal tonight and needs all the luck and hope and favor he can get. So I will smoke a pipe for an hour in the cold.

    Be honest with your parents, but if you disagree let them KNOW you disagree. They are human and will be wrong now and again just like you will be.

    I wish you the best of luck in your future with the mystic tobacco leaf. Fare well brother of the leaf.

    "Live Long and Prosper."

    "I was born to lose. So I'll die to win." -Breaking Benjamin
    Posted 2 years ago #
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    ozziepiper

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    I know this thread is old but just thought I'd mention that I'm thinking now of just going ahead and smoking my pipes anyway. It's been a few months since I talked to my father about it and I see my Peterson and Savinelli sitting there unused and it just makes me want to pack a bowl and light up. I'm thinking of making it a rare occasion, maybe every couple of months. It won't be happening at home and my parents won't know anything about it hopefully. If they find out, well we'll see what happens, but I'm 20 now and want to make my own decisions. The only problem is sourcing pipe tobacco, all the places around here sell crappy stuff and it would be a distaster if some tobacco I ordered arrived in our mail lol.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  40. jonahtke

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    Always be honest with your family. I'm 29, married, and have a son of my own. I still called my mom and discussed with her, my decision to take up the pipe. If they're still supporting you, you have some obligation to live by their rules. Just keep in mind that some day you'll be in their position (may not be tobacco), and you're going to want your kids to respect your wishes as well.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  41. ohin3

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    You are a 20 year old adult bro. Your parents don't really have a say over what you do. Sure they can disapprove, they can advise you against, but at 20 years old I can't imagine they have the power to tell you no. I dunno man, my parents had a different strategy when they raised my brother and I. They raised us and raised us very well. But they always sort of let us make our own decisions. I was often told, we don't think you should and this is why, or we do not approve of what you are doing, but they rarely told us no. My parents trusted their parenting skills I guess and let us have our independence. Just sit them down and explain the differences and why you have made your choices and that you understand they do not approve. Every time I had a major issue with my parents not approving of something I would sit them down and have an intelligent, rational conversation about my opinion and point of view on the matter. By the time I was done they seemed feel at ease.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  42. barkar

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    +1 @ohin3....my experience was very similar.

    I can tell my son is older then you now but as he was growing up sooner or later no matter what he was into he would eventually spill his guts and we would talk it over.
    Don't under estimate Dad, I'm sure he knows exactly what's going on. The fact that he let the purchase slide means he is ok with it but not ready to show acceptance yet.
    I would lead into the discussion by talking about your grandfather and his pipes. Let Dad tell you what he remembers about his Dad back in the day.

    Keep your stick on the ice!....Barry....
    Posted 2 years ago #
  43. dervis

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    Honesty is the best policy as has been stated. The only drawback here is if the situation is the same as your first post and they are still writing you checks. Now there is NOTHING wrong with parents helping out their kids/young adults/ OLD adults whatever. I suspect very few of us can say we have not been in that boat. I do think that if they are providing money , they get some vote in it. Again I am not the first one to say this but it might surprise you and they are fine with your new hobby. I wish you the best!

    "You have to be a man first before you're a gentleman. "

    John Wayne
    Posted 2 years ago #
  44. auspipe

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    I am almost 20 and also in Australia. Was never a smoker before the pipe, and my parents don't mind at all as its just a casual hobby for me that I enjoy. If you want tobacco you need to order online as the selection here is terrible and overpriced. The only good place to get it is from tobaccoblends.com.au they import the McClellands and a few others, but expect to pay around $50 for 50grams. Order from 4noggins, never had a problem with them.

    Posted 2 years ago #
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    ozziepiper

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    Yeah I've seen the tobbacoblends.com.au website before. It's way cheaper to import like you said. About $30 per 50g with import duties and tobacco tax rather than $50. I'm going to use smokingpipes.com. Bought my pipes and all my paraphernalia from them and they were great. My Dad doesn't know anything, if he did he would be raging. I'm sure he will find out at some point, but I don't care. We agree on most things, but we can't agree on everything and this is something I want to do so I'm going to do it in private.

    Posted 2 years ago #
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    piperasmus

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    Thats a very important topic... I have been smoking for almost 17 years..I would not want my son to be a smoker..
    If he were a smoker I would suggest him a pipe rather than cigars or cigarettes.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  47. mrgunnar177

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    Hello I have some advice, mostly because I come from the same background, I'm 18, my dad used to smoke pipes and cigars however I don't remember him doing it he gave it up when I was young. My mom never smoked however her dad and mom did and her mom died several years ago from lung cancer. So as you can see my parents are against smoking and tobacco use. Well when I was about 16 I got interested in pipes and cigars before then I was strongly against smoking. Well when I was 18 I bought a few pipes and a small 4 sampler thing from tobacco barn. Well my parents didn't know and I kept it from them. So about 3 months ago my dad went through my backpack to grab a calculator. And he found my gallon size freezer bag filled with 5 pipes and the tobacco. I was worried to say the least. Well what he said surprised me, he respected the fact that I'm 18 and all he did was make some common sense ground rules: not in the house not around my siblings ( they are 13). And don't brig them to school. And that was the end of that. I now smoke about every two weeks I just tell them I'm going for a walk and they know what that means lol. Oh and my dad was pretty strict growing up. So my advice to you is if they ask or you plan to smoke back home then tell them honestly however if the don't ask or anything I don't see the reason to bring it up especially if it will bring up a fight. If you feel like you should tell them then tell them. They will still love you and care about you they might not be happy about it but they will deal with it.
    All the best and let me know how it goes
    Gunnar

    You can buy education, but wisdom is a gift from God.
    Posted 2 years ago #
  48. hiplainsdrifter

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    I heard this recently: Other people's opinion of you is none of your business. That includes your parents. I started smoking a pipe at 17. If you live with your parents that would be one thing, but if you are on your own it is your decision. If you feel there is nothing wrong with it, do it. If you think it is wrong, don't do it.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  49. espear

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    So, I like your father.

    He is trying to protect you from something that he fears would be very bad for you. He had a very serious nicotine addiction problem that was threatening his life and his ability to support and raise you. He worked very hard to get rid of it. He is to be respected and admired for that.

    So, it makes perfect sense that he wants to see you stay clear of all tobacco. He doesn't want you to fall into the same problem that he had and probably still has although inactive.

    He has a very good point. Many of us can enjoy a pipe once in a while and just enjoy the taste and the aroma. But we don't know how it might work for you? Would you start with a pipe and get addicted to nicotine or cigarettes as he did? Even though most pipe smokers don't inhale....you might carry the same additive gene as he does and be at a higher risk than most of us.

    So be careful here. He wants the best for you and is willing to stand up for what he believes is in your best interest.

    From another standpoint. Since you are living at home and taking the family subsidy you had better sacrifice any pride for gratitude

    Ellis

    Posted 1 year ago #
  50. shaintiques

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    So you do realize this dude isn't active on the forum anymore right. The post was started a year ago and the original poster only has 11 posts. It is great to read old posts, but commenting on them to people who obviously aren't active is a little odd.

    I know what I need, smoke, I can't recall the last time I tasted it....Gandalf in the mines of Moria.

    "we shall have to share pipes, as good friends must at a pinch'....'I keep a treasure or two near my skin, as precious as rings to me. Here's one: my old wooden pipe. And here's another an unused one...He held up a small pipe with a wide flattened bowl, and handed it to Gimli. 'Does that settle the score between us', said Merry. 'Most noble hobbit, it leaves me deep in your debt."
    Posted 1 year ago #
  51. espear

    espear

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    Dear Shaintiques,

    Golly,

    I had not really paid attention to the "aging" of the posts or the thread.

    Thanks for bringing that to my attention.

    I'll try to improve

    E. Spear

    Posted 1 year ago #
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    plateauguy

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    Even though the author of the "young smoker" is no longer on-line with us, I'd still like to add my 2 cents worth, so here it is:

    The shoe is on the other foot. I have a grown daughter with two 7 year old granddaughters and none of them know that I occasionally smoke a pipe and have done so since before my daughter was born.

    In the world of politically corrent, college educated, nonsmokers - I'm bad. I don't hide it, I just don't do it around them. I'm too old, and don't want to hear my daughter's lectures. But, as my pipe collection has grown, it is now proudly displayed so I can hear it now . . .

    Posted 1 year ago #
  53. espear

    espear

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    Dear Plateuguy,

    Yes, it is unfortunate that smoking an "occasional pipe" has become so closely identified with the serious addiction of smoking cigarettes.

    I, like you enjoy the "occasional pipe". I don't think it has serious health risks, nor after 30 years of the "occasional pipe" do I have any interest in cigarettes....which I detest. But there are others who seem to be at a higher risk of tobacco addiction. We see young people starting to smoke cigarettes all the time and get seriously addicted in a few months. It is a very scary situation.

    Too bad that the two have gotten commingled to this extent.

    In the case of the young man above ....we have a father who is very concerned about protecting his son from a possible addiction that he very well may express; given his family history.

    E. Spear

    Posted 1 year ago #
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    Anonymous

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    I really like it when someone brings back an "old thread."

    OK, replying to the OP (original poster) is a bit superfluous, especially when the OP hasn't logged in here in a very long time -- but the subject matter is usually relevant (as it is in this thread) and this gives those of us who haven't seen this thread, or the topic discussed, a chance to "weigh in."

    Good for you, E. Spear

    Over the years things have changed where I find myself one of two people, on both sides of our extended family, who smokes. My wife's cousin smokes cigarettes, so every hour or so, when I see her at some family event, she is outside puffing away. I simply don't smoke around family -- in fact, when I go visit friends and relatives, I don't even bring a pipe along.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  55. kashmir

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    I pipe smoke 24/7. Thirty years now. Folks all know I smoke a pipe. I tell em pop smokes a pipe. Deal with it. For me, pipes are more important than people. My immediate family is totally cool with my pipes. And they are really the only people that matter. The rest are just strangers. It is what it is. Of course I don't smoke at work. That's because, the way I see it, they pay me not to smoke. I'll go along with that. But when no one is paying me not to smoke, why I'll smoke my pipe. It really is just that simple.

    The pipe eases you into the present moment - savor your pipe & you'll savor this moment.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  56. erichbaumer

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    I like the "paid not to smoke" way of putting it, actually makes alot of sense...

    "I don't want any of your statistics; I took your whole batch and lit my pipe with it." -Mark Twain
    Posted 1 year ago #
  57. foggymountain

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    I remember I started at 14, but didn't tell my parents until about 15. Then, as far as I remember, I just let them find out. They made fun of me a little, my father was a brutal individual, but I didn't let it bother me. I was used to them being a nuisance, and I guess they were used to me being a problem. There was a period around that time when my father did not speak to me for about a year. That was a blessed vacation, then life returned to normal.

    Posted 1 year ago #

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