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Worst Pipe Ever

(35 posts)
  • Started 1 year ago by searock
  • Latest reply from hauntedmyst
  1. searock

    searock

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    I saw the thread about the worst tobaccos so I thought it would be fun and interesting to hear about the worst pipe you ever smoked.

    For me it has to be a BC. I went to Paris and left my pipe case at home by accident, so I went into a pipe shop. About the only thing they sold was BC (made in France) so in despiration I bought one. That was the nastiest smoking thing I ever put in my mouth. I was determined to give it a chance so I smoked it now and then over time to break it in. No go. I didn't have the heart to pass it on to some other unsuspecting pipe guy, so I finally chucked it.

    I haven't smoked one but I suspect this thing would be a contender for worst pipe. Take a look and let us know if you're going to buy one. lol

    http://www.epuffer.com/eshop/e-pipe.html

    Posted 1 year ago #
  2. spacecowboy57

    spacecowboy57

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    wow that epuffer sounds horrible!
    1. no smoke
    2. fake smoke tastes like cigarettes (lovely)
    3. needs batteries
    what the hell it this world coming to?

    Posted 1 year ago #
  3. spacecowboy57

    spacecowboy57

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    duh i forgot my worst pipe. don't make fun of my ignorance for buying this pipe, i was very new to pipe smoking. I bought the pipe pictured here off ebay a while back http://cgi.ebay.com/Stone-Classic-Tobacco-Smoking-Pipe-Collection-/270629140014?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3f02c0f62e (I only paid a third of what is advertised here)
    This pipe was listed as a "stone classic tobacco pipe" bullsh!t. first off, it's plastic, with a metal lined bowl. second, while it looks pretty cool, it's not functional. This is clearly a weed pipe. since weed is smoked in small quantities, i would imagine it doesn't generate as much total heat, nor does it burn continuously. when exposed to a decent ammount of burning tobacco for a fairly long smoking session, the metal bowl must have expanded more than it was designed to, and now the metal bowl no longer sits right in the plastic body of the pipe. air now draws around the bowl rather than thru it, so it is no longer smokeable after one use.

    i bought another crappy pipe from hong kong at the same time that is a bit nicer, but no longer seems to get any draw. bottom line, i will try to buy from reputable brands rather than decietful foreign countries who mislead you with their broken english descriptions.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  4. searock

    searock

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    spacecowboy57, Don't feel too bad, we all make mistakes and besides, you're getting smarter! The last thing you want is metal coming in contact with the smoke. What happens when hot air or smoke hit's cold metal? Condensation, which is not good for a smooth smoke. There are some cheap pipes which have metal "plumbing" inside that is supposed to catch moisture. Actually, they just help create more moisture and add to the problem.

    By the way, the reason doppers use metal or glass pipes is because (they think) they can wash them and not leave behind any "evidence".

    Posted 1 year ago #
  5. unclearthur

    unclearthur

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    My worst has to be a cheap nasty cob I picked up years ago. Don't know who made it. Didn't have an MM sticker. Made a nice addition to the tinder in the campfire though!

    If at first you don't succeed you are running about average.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  6. ohin3

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    "Charatan's make" bulldog. Thing smoked so hot that the wax bubbled and peeled off. Etailer actually refunded my money but replaced the pipe with a Bjarne apple that did the same thing. I took a scotchbrite pad to the pipe and removed what remained of the scorched wax. That pipe has provided good smokes ever since.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  7. searock

    searock

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    Hey ohin3, That's unusual for a Charatan, they made some fine pipes. Anyone know if the company has changed hands in recent years? (I'm too lazy to research it.)

    Posted 1 year ago #
  8. spacecowboy57

    spacecowboy57

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    I recently won some inexpensive estate briars. they were cheap but reliable brands, dr grabow and medico. I have never had a problem with a dr grabow, even the one i bought for 6 bucks, it was well worth the money.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  9. chuckw

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    I had several Charatan's make from the Lane era and didn't care for any except one. I gifted it to a newbie. He still has it and likes it alot.
    On to the orginal queston. Worst pipe was a Peterson System Standard 307 from 1998. It had that plastic coating on the bowl and smoked hot as the devil. Some 600 grit, a good buff, a 5/32" drill for the smoke hole and it smokes like a dream now.

    I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  10. colonelmcmuf

    colonelmcmuf

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    I've only had one bad pipe buy, It was my only ebay pipe. Labeled a Meerschaum, it was actually a poor quality clay. Tasted horrible. Then not two seconds after lighting up the stem broke in half. Looks like it was super glued. Needless to say I was peeved. Got my money back (thank goodness) and the man told me to keep the pipe. Most likely didn't want to loose any more money on the scam.

    "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight!"
    Posted 1 year ago #
  11. unclearthur

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    It would appear that Charatan is now owned by Dunhill. http://pipedia.org/index.php?title=Charatan

    Posted 1 year ago #
  12. pstlpkr

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    OK....

    Here's my worst pipe.
    Quite possibly the worst pipe ever manufactured.
    The Jobey Sunburst Filter:


    Nuff said.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  13. igloo

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    I picked up a new GBD billard not long ago and she will just not stay lit . We are talking 12 relights a bowl and never smokes to the botttom . Has to be the draft hole . But I dont want to mess with it until it builds a cake . At wits end .ARRRRRGHHHHHHH

    “There was an awful suspicion in my mind that I'd finally gone over the hump, and the worst thing about it was that I didn't feel tragic at all, but only weary, and sort of comfortably detached.”
    Posted 1 year ago #
  14. strongirish

    strongirish

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    I have a list of worst pipes ever.

    Clay pipes, hot, hot, hot!
    MM Cherry and maple pipes Just as hot.
    Most Meers, not all but most smoke hot to me
    Any pipe that comes from China, trash
    Nylon pipes that come under many names like Brylon,just smoke terrible and are hot!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  15. wallbright

    wallbright

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    I purchased a Chinese cob a few weeks back. I am too afraid to smoke it in fear of it spontaneously combusting. As far as briars go I haven't had one I hated but some were less stellar than others.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  16. searock

    searock

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    This thread is starting to become interesting. I think we can all see that our experiences are different. If the thread goes far enough I'm sure almost no brand will be left out. Jobey, really? I'm surprised, I have several and always thought they were quite good, especially considering the price. Just goes to show ya...

    Posted 1 year ago #
  17. hauntedmyst

    hauntedmyst

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    Hands down the worst pipe I ever smoked was a Mark Tinsky American Smoking Pipe. I bought it after I started working at a pipe shop and it was expensive at the time, $75 twenty five years ago. It tasted bad, smoked wet and in all was a grand turd. It was so bad, I made sure we never ordered any more Tinsky's at that or the other two shops I worked at.

    A tattoo on a beautiful woman is like graffiti on a Ferrari.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  18. dudleydipstick

    dudleydipstick

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    Searock,

    I've got a Butz Choquin and it smoked extremely hot. It was a dress pipe and I eventually came to the conclusion that I'd either remove the finish or toss it. Removing the finish was a big improvement. It's the one pipe that I use for aros now.

    The B*C and a Chacom I own have pretty much made me decide that I'll avoid anything to come out of St. Claude.

    Here's the pipe:

    Ohin3,

    I've aired enough grievances here about my luck with Bjarne Viking Classics that any more would be redundant.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  19. explodingpenguin

    explodingpenguin

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    Worst smoking pipe I have had so far is a Bjarne Plateaux Briar Freehand that I picked up while I still lived in NC. I love the grain and the design and in my bedazlement I forgot to try running a pipe cleaner through the thing before I bought it. -.- cant get a pipe cleaner through to the bowl to save my life and the things smokes wet after about ten minutes. I am sure it has something to do with the draft whole but I just don't have enough experience to figure out what the hell it is.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  20. unclearthur

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    I own several BC pipes and all smoke very well. Seems things just work differently for folks!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  21. robs

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    If I may, can I express it as "The Pipe That Most Disappointed"? This pipe has been the bane of my life and I cannot tell you how saddened I have been by the experience of owning it. Strangely, for me, it is a Peterson. Now I am a self confessed Pete Nut, but this damn pipe has really made me angry. It is a Kinsale XL26 Smooth Finish, basically, The Hansom but without the refinements.

    I ordered this from my favourite online emporium and was thrilled when it arrived. Not so thrilled however when during the first smoke, yes, the first, the finish started bubbling and flaking on the side of the Bowl. The Pipe was not Hot in the hand, I had been extremely careful as I had heard tales of the somewhat suspect finishes on some Petes. I should perhaps add that I have several other Kinsales and have never experienced any such problems with them. So I returned the pipe and explained the problem. The supplier sent another example straight out to me, which was very much appreciated. Until..... Same thing occurred. Returned that Pipe and received a replacement straight away. Same thing happened! I rang the supplier and explained that I was acutely embarrassed by the whole situation and asked whether there was anything that Peterson themselves could do. He responded very swiftly that they had the previous pipes and were inspecting them. One more was dispatched and sadly, yet again, the same thing happened, but this time accompanied by a very nasty plastic like smell. I still have this pipe and I have considered removing the entire finish and starting all over again. I have also considered trying the Rusticated version to see whether that will be all right. I am somewhat agin doing that as I find the Smooth model far more pleasing aesthetically.

    The other Horror in my collection is a Vaugn Tomato. The Mouthpiece renders this pipe all bar unsmokable for me, so that is having a new mouthpiece made that hopefully will make this one a goer again.

    Communicating via this internet malarkey is an ideal way for me to socialise with YOU, the great unwashed and uneducated, whilst keeping you all at a distance. Tones it down you see?
    Posted 1 year ago #
  22. hobie1dog

    hobie1dog

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    I would never have thought that such names as Bjarne and Peterson and BC would be mentioned on this thread

    Marry the right person, this one decision will determine 90% of your happiness.

    Does a culture based on seperation and competition, of scientific sophistication and mideval religion, offer happiness even as it ravishes the Earth that sustains it?
    Posted 1 year ago #
  23. juozapas

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    oh my my....That's why I would prefer to buy hands on. If I can't hold it, the chances of buying a pipe is almost nil.
    Great thread. Good to know what not to buy for sure,....thanks.

    If light travels faster than sound is this why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  24. dudleydipstick

    dudleydipstick

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    Juozapas wrote:

    Good to know what not to buy for sure,....thanks.

    Just remember that just like everything else with pipe smoking, none of it is written in stone.

    Some people have great luck with brands I'm convinced are garbage, and the same may hold true for you sometime, whether you're having the good luck or the bad.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  25. robs

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    As a footnote, PLEASE do consider that I am only referring to ONE Pete that I have owned. I smoke nothing but Petes and love them dearly, hence my comment about "Disappointed" as opposed to "Hate".

    Posted 1 year ago #
  26. tsgourley

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    The worst pipe I've owned puts me in a situation like robs. I'm a fan of Kaywoodie pipes, but I have a white briar that I lovingly restored to find out that it is the worst smoker I've ever had. It's piping hot even at a slow pace, and from what I've read online I'm not the only one to experience this issue.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  27. chuckw

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    I'm suprised this thread has gone this far and no one has mentioned The Pipe.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  28. unclearthur

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    I got one in a batch of estates and haven't had the guts to even try it.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  29. explodingpenguin

    explodingpenguin

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    Wait... there is a brand called "The Pipe". According to google and http://www.thepipe.info/ they are plastic pipes with pyrolytic graphite bowl liners? I may now be scared for life.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  30. unclearthur

    unclearthur

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    They are NASTY!!!! Worse than Brylon if that is possible.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  31. searock

    searock

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    "The Pipe"; back around 1968-70, I remember buying one at the exchange when I was in the service. At that time my collection consisted of 6 Castellos with me and some other pipes I left at home, so I knew what a good pipe should smoke like. As to "The Pipe", they promissed great things in their ads and smoked like krap...

    Posted 1 year ago #
  32. unclearthur

    unclearthur

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    After Chuck's post I had to fire up the one I have. The reviews were far too kind . It is a BAD pipe.!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  33. searock

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    Funny thing, I couldn't find any pics of "The Pipe" on the web. Must be some there somewhere. I did find what looks to be it's modern sucessor. God help us!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  34. python

    Bob

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    The pipe that I was most disappointed in was a Chacom Crystal, this one:

    It smoked horrible. No matter how slow I smoked, it burned hot as Hades and wouldn't stay lit. I sent it off to have it opened it and it smokes a ton better now. It doesn't burn hot anymore and it stays lit without continuous puffing. Opening it really turned this pipe around.

    Penguin, you might want to send your Bjarne pipe to a repair man to have it opened up. That should fix the problem that you are having with it.

    --------

    The absolute worst pipe that I have ever owned is a cheap no name meerschaum pipe. I am not going to re-post about it again, but you can read about it in this thread with photos of it:

    http://pipesmagazine.com/forums/topic/meerschaum-problemquestion

    "When the Government Fears the People, There is Liberty;
    When the People Fear the Government, There is Tyranny." - Thomas Jefferson
    Posted 1 year ago #
  35. hauntedmyst

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    Penguin,

    I agree with Bob about sending it out to have it opened up. A lot of that style of freehand pipe used inexpensive preformed mouth pieces. Send it to Tim West at http://www.jhlowe.com/tobacco_pipe_repairs.htm and he can make it smoke better.

    Posted 1 year ago #

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