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Wife Hates The Smell - Any Advice?

(60 posts)
  • Started 10 months ago by scooterdoo
  • Latest reply from samuelgawith01
  1. scooterdoo

    scooterdoo

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    Hey All -

    Have a minor problem I'm sure some of you have encountered. I really enjoy English and Burley blends. This means I stink to high hell when I come back in the house. It drives my wife crazy. To the point she's pushing me to quite piping (that's not happening). Any suggestions on how to mitigate the stink? Or, will I just have to switch to aromatics (which I do enjoy from time to time)?

    Thanks!

    Posted 10 months ago #
  2. cosmicfolklore

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    I think that the easiest solution is to find a new wife.

    Michael
    Posted 10 months ago #
  3. techie

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    I wasn't bold enough to suggest it

    Posted 10 months ago #
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    elpfeife

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    I knew you were going to say that, Cosmic.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  5. tslex

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    Well, someone needs a spanking.

    OK, seriously:

    I will tell you that Smoke Eater candles are tremendously effective in my experience. I smoke in my den, and I have the HVAC system arranged so there's no return for the air there -- the AC blows in, but none of the air from the room is sucked back into the system. So even if I'm smoking in the den, you cannot smell it in the house, especially as I usually open a window a bit, with the result that there's a net exhaust effect from the room.

    The downside is that it can get pretty smoky smelling in that room. I find a large size Smoke Eater candle burning for an hour or so really cleans it out. The den is a smallish room, 10X10.

    Posted 10 months ago #
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    redone

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    Just change clothes or at least shirts. That’s what I do if the wind blows too much of the smoke back on me after my evening smoke. I might wash another load but the enjoyment of pipe smoking is making it worth it to me. In the colder weather (was previously for cigars) I have a “smoking jacket” I keep in my garage. Works for me.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  7. olkofri

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    Switch to aromatics.

    Not the sweet, new grass with flowers is this harvesting of mine;
    Not the upland clover bloom...
    Posted 10 months ago #
  8. cosmicfolklore

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    I find aromatics to smell worse than a Virginia blend. Try this... smoke an aromatic in a closed room, leave the room, and come back several hours later. It will smell like shit, even if it originally smelled like vanilla or berries, or chocolate while you were smoking it.
    A quality Virginia smells like tobacco, but more like an excellent tobacco. Not like cigarettes at all, and more like tobacco, if tobacco were a tea, or herbal. Even when you leave the room and return hours later. It smells way better than the aromatic did.

    Maybe you naturally stink. And, your just misreading what your wife is telling you. In that case, see my original comment above.

    Latakia just stinks, and if that is what you smoke, she is right. Get a new wife.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  9. olkofri

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    We all got different noses. She should be the one assessing the smells/stinks, not us.

    Would one of those old smoking jackets be a solution? You could just hang it outside or in the entryway.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  10. anthonyrosenthal74

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    Before you go out to smoke, wrap your whole body in cellophane, the arms, legs, torso, and even the head. But leave a hole for your face so you can smoke and breathe... that's important. No need to use it sparingly, it's quite inexpensive. When you're done smoking, remove the cellophane and your clothes and hair will remain smokey smelling free.

    Arrrrr, shiver me timbers! International Talk Like a Pirate Day is September the 19th!!!
    Brothers Of The Black Frigate
    Posted 10 months ago #
  11. workman

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    Change clothes, wash face. If that is too complicated, follow Cosmic's advice.

    Smoking is one of the leading causes of all statistics.
    Posted 10 months ago #
  12. techie

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    Before you go out to smoke, wrap your whole body in cellophane

    Posted 10 months ago #
  13. jazz

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    New wife or no wife. You're never alone with a pipe.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  14. lawdawg

    lawdawg

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    Visit my house, and join me in smoking our pipes in my living room while my (soon to be) wife prepares dinner and perhaps joins us for a bowl afterwards?

    Posted 10 months ago #
  15. weezell

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    Yep, she gotta go...

    "the weez"...
    Posted 10 months ago #
  16. scooterdoo

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    lol. Cosmic, cracking me up along with others. My wife is wonderful. She's not going anywhere. Maybe I'll give those smoke eater candles a shot. It also wouldn't hurt to change my shirt.

    Thanks, all.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  17. voorhees

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    Boy I was a lucky as hell.

    Jason
    Posted 10 months ago #
  18. scooterdoo

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    Lawdog, that's awesome. Wish I could smoke inside. We currently live in an apartment and have a newborn, so it's not really on the table. Once we buy a home I plan to have a smoking room...or just convert the garage to a smoking lounge.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  19. anthonyrosenthal74

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    Maybe I'll give those smoke eater candles a shot. It also wouldn't hurt to change my shirt.
    What... no cellophane? Seemed like a legit idea to me.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  20. mountainman

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    My wife doesn't really love the smell of pipes and I also have a newborn. It is important to me to not hold my daughter and reek of smoke. My strategy is to schedule my evening smoke outside or in the garage before I shower. This way I can come in, shower and change clothes before returning to my family. Works great. Yes there is more laundry to do, but is worth it to be able to enjoy pipes and keep smoke off of my children and wife. If that doesn't work, see Cosmics suggestion.

    Josh
    Posted 10 months ago #
  21. scloyd

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    Slip one of these on before you smoke. Then take it off when you're done. Problem solved.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  22. warren

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    Simple way to figure the solution: Are you considerate of others? Are you selfish?

    If you want to stick with tobacco you'll need to "hose down" before returning to the house to keep her happy. If she's simply not that important, ignore her and the conflict will solve itself. I would suggest laying in a box of 30 gallon garbage bags though, should you choose the latter. Your stuff will be easier to haul to your new digs or, you could live in your veee-HICKLE.

    A man without a shillelagh is a man without an expedient.
    Posted 10 months ago #
  23. bnichols23

    Bill Nichols

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    I'm not qualified to comment, since my wife likes Latakia. And no, you can't have her. Apart from that, I'm a Frigate fan, so naturally I agree with Anthony's idea. Although Cosmic's ideas are often pretty good....

    Head Black Frigate keelhauler, boss powder monkey, & troublemaker 1st class.
    Posted 10 months ago #
  24. bnichols23

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    Warren, Warren, Warren.... You're such a mess.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  25. cosmicfolklore

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    It's all a matter of "better than; worse than." Start a sulfur collection, and keep it in your bedroom. Be very passionate about it, show her that you enjoy sniffing the sulfur deeply and lovingly. She will be so grateful when she finally convinces you to give it up, that pipes will definitely be "better than".

    Posted 10 months ago #
  26. crashthegrey

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    There's a reason men used to wear a smoking jacket. Add a fez if you have hair. You'll look nice and smell better when removed. My neighbors wish I would wear something under and besides the smoking jacket, but you win some you lose some.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  27. bnichols23

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    Just like the two of you to try to beat Warren!

    Posted 10 months ago #
  28. scooterdoo

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    It's only $45 on ebay....

    Posted 10 months ago #
  29. crashthegrey

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    She's a real beaut.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  30. bnichols23

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    Crash, you need your eyes exami.... Oh, you meant the jacket!

    Posted 10 months ago #
  31. crashthegrey

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    Haha.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  32. bnichols23

    Bill Nichols

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    Well *I* thought it was funny. Then again, I like hurricanes too.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  33. brian64

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    Add a fez if you have hair.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCdKBHdPz30

    “Bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.” – George Carlin
    Posted 10 months ago #
  34. techie

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    I'm almost sure that's near perfect copy of Bruce Lee's smoking jacket.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  35. mikefu

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    I wear a smoking jacket of some sort and take it off after I'm done piping. Also, I am sure to rinse/eat something/use mouthwash to take care of the residual mouth smell. Then I'm good to go!

    Posted 10 months ago #
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    bigpond

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    +1 to Mikefu.

    It’s pretty easy to deal with stinky clothes, but hair is a bigger issue imo. A hat helps. Depending on where you lie on the classic/ironic clothing spectrum, the smoking jacket and fez turn out to be amazingly practical garments for a pipe smoking gent. Much of the time though, smoke stink arguments aren’t about the smell at all. Even despite how cool your fez happens to be.

    If none of the above helps it might be time to give VA’s a go full time. Or Grasmere flake.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  37. mso489

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    Since I gave up my pipe smoking in solidarity with my late wife who quit a multi-pack-a-day cigarette habit -- and I didn't bat an eye about doing it, entirely voluntary -- I'm not one to suggest giving up your wife about the issue (though I get and chuckle at the joke) ... I'd go along with smoking the robust smelling blends outdoors; using the smoking candle in a designated indoor area, along with air handling adjustments; finding the blends that offend the least (Virginias have been mentioned); using a smoking jacket to ritualize and enhance your smoking time; organizing indoor or outdoor smoking so your wife is out of the house or otherwise occupied. There are probably other possible adjustments. Moderating your smoking to the degree possible. Finding someone who you can live with, who can live with you, and (pardon the seeming sentimentality) love is a life project and comes before almost everything else. Making a habit of accommodating your partner is part of that.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  38. scloyd

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    All kidding aside. Is it the smell or is part of it the newborn? Or both?

    If it was me, I would try to come to a compromise and switch to blend she can tolerate. If it's really about the baby...I would quit. I've been married 39 years and my wife and children have always been top priority.

    Everyone is different. It's all up to you.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  39. cosmicfolklore

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    Training my wife has been a slow, involved process. I started by listening to the Pipesmagazine Radioshow, while she was a captive audience. Brian emits a natural pheromone over the airwaves that soothes the savage tobacco-nazi. Then, she picked up on some of the pipe jargon through osmosis of me listening to Brian and his guests banter. Then, I started asking her about which blends that she liked the smell of. Eventually, I took her to the Briary to have her smell different blends to get "wife-approved" blends that she would like me to smoke around her.

    Now, there is a bit of gaslighting that you will need to do. Not the GLP tobacco, but the psychological midfuck that is refered to in old movies. My wife picked out several godawful aromatics that she said she liked, that no self-respecting pipesmoker would ever put in a custom made pipe. So, you have to quietly dump the aromatic into the garbage, and take it out to the road, or she will catch on. Put whatever blends that you like to smoke into the tin. Then if she complains about a blend, just show her the tin and tell her, "funny, you picked this one out for me." or, "You liked this one at the store." Her not liking something you smoke has to be her fault. You are smoking this, because she approved it. "I only want to make you happy."

    Make her feel included. But, maybe blame the pipe. "Baby, sometimes it's the pipe you smell, and not the tobacco. I'll gladly smoke it in another pipe, if it will make you happy," then maybe put a less aromatic Virginia in another pipe, something you think she would like...

    My wife gave me an ugly rusticated Nording bulldog years ago, that looked like a turd on a stick. When I smoke it, I always put a burley fart blend in it when I smoke it. When she snarls her nose... "Baby, this is that blend that you picked out. It must be the pipe. This is the difference between a $70 pipe and a $300 pipe." The next Christmas, she gave me a Castello. I only smoke Virginas that she thinks she picked out that smelled like apricots in the tin in that pipe. She now loves Virginias and VaPers, and insists that I buy quality pipes.

    It takes a while, but with some persistent mindfucking, she will soon be riding along side you in the car, requesting that you smoke Escudo in a top end Savinelli Autograph. Just keep old tins that she associates with something she once picked out, and constantly remind her that you are her knight in shining armor, smoking "only" to please her senses.

    You'll get it, you just have to be persistent.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  40. olkofri

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    All kidding aside. Is it the smell or is part of it the newborn? Or both?

    It might not even be the piping at all. Maybe she's stressed out, and/or something else is bothering her; and the smell of the smoke is the one thing she's find more tangible to complain about and/or let out the steam. Now, I'm not knocking her off –far from me to do so; but what I'm saying is that through communication the real issue can be found and dealt with. But that's something nobody here can help with.

    Personally, I reckon there are far worse pollutants and 'dangerous' things in a household environment for a newborn to be breathing in than the scent of tobacco. And please, don't get me started with that '3rd hand smoke' BS. Anyway, alas, far gone are the days when the 'pipe smell was the smell of fatherhood', and what with all the panic about tobacco and all, her maternal instinc might be kicking in and she doesn't want even the smallest whiff of anything smoke-smelling near her child. Again, only you, Scooterdoo, can find that out, and it's entirely up to you as a couple to find a solution.

    In the meanwhile, I'd try to accommodate her. Switch to a blend that smells pleasant, get a jacket, smoke only every other day... &c., &c. If she sees that you take her concerns seriously and try to find a compromise, she might even be OK with the occasional lat bomb. I'd do this before the issue escalates into a contest of wills and the mistaken belief that the only solutions are extreme measures (i.e. 'the pipe or me').

    Posted 10 months ago #
  41. scloyd

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    Cosmic, you are good.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  42. seldom

    seldom

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    So far I've been lucky with my wife (and we also have a newborn). I think I'll need to start a new thread lest the same fate of unhappy wife befall me. What are your choices for wife approved blends?

    Seldom Seen
    Posted 10 months ago #
  43. winton

    winton

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    My wife is asthmatic and allergic to smoke. My daughter is also, but to a lesser degree. Therefore, I smoke in the garage. When I am done, my clothes go in the wash and I go in the shower. (once I had too much twist tobacco and I did this the other way around. I won't make that mistake again!)

    Posted 10 months ago #
  44. zack24

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    I smoke outside- when I come in- it's time for a shower, brush the teeth, a little mouthwash, shave any excessive growths of hair from the chest and back, and then my wife is happy to see me...

    Posted 10 months ago #
  45. chasingembers

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    Mine has never made a complaint. Even buys me pipes and tobacco.

    Damnation seize my soul if I give you quarters, or take any from you.
    -Edward Teach
    Posted 10 months ago #
  46. cosmicfolklore

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    shave any excessive growths of hair from the chest and back, and then my wife is happy to see me...

    EgHADS!!! If my wife demanded that of me, I would expect her to do the same.

    Posted 10 months ago #
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    64alex

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    [I think that the easiest solution is to find a new wife.]

    +1.

    Well, seriously, I use air purifier with ozone function. I have the ZEN LIVING ZL-3C+ PROFESSIONAL AIR PURIFIER. After you have done smoking turn on the ozone at maximum for 20 minutes and when you come back it is all fresh air. Pretty amazing results.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  48. jpmcwjr

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    This the one?

    How long have you been using it? Looks like a winner.

    I know that you believe you understood what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
    Posted 10 months ago #
  49. olkofri

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    Isn't ozone toxic?

    Ozone Generators as Air Cleaners

    Posted 10 months ago #
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    panamacharlie

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    You could mask the odor with something stronger. Try wlking ion dog poo before coming into the house.

    Posted 10 months ago #
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    thefishguy

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    Wear a hat if you have hair. And stay outside a little longer to air out.

    Posted 10 months ago #
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    64alex

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    jpmcwjr, Yes it is the one you put the pic. Works great, I had for one year and the reason I bought it is because the building is now smoke free also within the unit (unfortunately I leave in a nanny state). With closed window and AC off, I turn the unit on only the ionization, no ozone while I am in the room. When done, I turn on the ozone, leave the room for 30 min, then come back, open the windows and I have a fresh air like in the mountain after a storm. It really destroys the smell, not cover it and you don't really detect anything. Also when cooking it is great to kill odors.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  53. cajomu

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    As a married man of nearly fifty years, I've learned that, when my wife complains about something I'm doing, the problem is often that there's something I should be doing that I'm not. So, in addition to doing what you can to eliminate the smell of stale pipe smoke on your clothes, I suggest you consider if there might be another problem. Are you spending enough quality time with her? Are you pulling your weight in the child rearing department and with household chores? Are you satisfying her other needs?

    Take it from someone who's sometimes had to learn the hard way: a satisfied wife is a happy wife, and a happy wife is much more tolerant of her husband's "bad habits."

    Posted 10 months ago #
  54. jmsmitty6

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    I smoke outside in the summer, spring and fall. In the winter, I'm in the garage. I either jump in the pool after I smoke or wash my hands and face.

    It's about compromise for us. I don't drink and my wife doesn't smoke. However, we will go to a friend's house or a winery and she'll have a couple of glasses of wine while we enjoy the company and the setting. Afterwards, I come home and smoke my pipe. She buys nice bottles of wine and champagne, I don't say a word. I buy nice pipes and tobacco, she doesn't say a word.

    As for trading in the wife, I had a lemon the first go round. This one is a peach. If she asked me to quit, I'd do it in a heartbeat. However, I'd be pouring bottles down the drain

    Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop smoking my pipe
    Posted 10 months ago #
  55. craiginthecorn

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    Posted 10 months ago #
  56. paulie66scandinavian

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    Well, I'll leave it up to You to decide,but be it me,I'd wear some kind of smoking jacket,this should be enough to appease the situation.

    Paul The Scandinavian'
    Posted 10 months ago #
  57. crashthegrey

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    craiginthecorn may be onto something here. Haha.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  58. ssjones

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    I was married to my wife about 25 years before I started smoking a pipe. She doesn't enjoy me when I smell like a pipe. So, if I plan on getting up close and personal, I don't smoke beforehand (she's worth the sacrifice...) Like Warren alluded, to, its a compromise.

    Al

    Posted 10 months ago #
  59. sparrowhawk

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    Thanks for sharing,craiginthecorn.

    There is no beauty without some strangeness in proportion.
    Posted 10 months ago #
  60. samuelgawith01

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    Try smoking Capt Black “Black Sea”. It’s like regular Capt Black,but with a small amount of Latakia,and not as moist.Good luck.

    Posted 10 months ago #

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