When does it become relaxing?

I agree, sounds like the tobacco is too wet. Aromatics like the Lane are notorious for being too wet.

It could also be your initial light. Focus on getting the tobacco lit well across the entire top surface first and see if this helps. If you want to PM me with specific questions, feel free.

Are you drying your tobacco prior to smoking it? That can help a lot with excess moisture. Look at some of the videos on packing, try one of the different packing methods.

Here are some suggestions.
Try a different tobacco, or a different pipe, perhaps both.
Don't stir. Ideally you want a layer of ash over the smouldering tobacco. Dump some ash if it won't light.
Tamp the ash down lightly after the pipe goes out, before relighting.
Keep the flame over the bowl not in it when relighting. Small sips.
Clench the pipe in your mouth and breathe in and out through your nose. The tobacco will breathe with you.
For a small bowl with a flake, dedicate at least an hour and a half. Thirty minutes is about what I need to get the pipe going the way I want it, but I fuss a lot.

What kind of pipe?

If you haven't already, try a cob........ they are forgiving, and tend to absorb moisture. Good to learn on.

Agree with the others-- baccy may be too wet.

Be patient-- one of these days it will all fall together.............

Beef hit it on the nose...patience is important...many have been frustrated in the past and now enjoy their pipes greatly, you will too!

Trust me, it will all fall into place. Try, if possible, to steer away from the heavily cased aromatics and give the tobacco some time to dry out a tad. I remember the 10 relights many years ago, albeit I no longer smoke aromatics, and I now, at the most, have to relight a bowl 3 times, if that. Patience, and you'll get there and 'breath' smoking, as stated by sallow, is the way to get there. Also, do you only have one pipe that you are smoking?

As opposed to those above and soon to come below, after two years of pressing and not finding any pleasure it is time to move on. If you've found no satisfaction or improvement after reading and trying all of the advice given here for the last half-year it is pretty obvious that you are most likely not meant to smoke a pipe.
Either that or you are simply toying with us with your "problem." Your problem has been discussed ad nauseum in the last 6 months that your have been a member. Surely some improvement should have been made since you posted almost the same question 5 months ago.

Warren may be on to something here. Maybe try cigars? A very different flavor but a lot less fuss. After all, it's all about finding pleasure, not frustration.

Lots of good suggestions, managing moisture level is key in my experience. I also agree that if you don't enjoy it, why the heck would you keep doing it?

So far my fav tobacco is 1Q,

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Could be your problem. Try something that's not a heavily cased aromatic. Pick up some Orlik Golden Sliced. It is a mild well behaved tobacco that is pleasant enough and lights well.

Sounds like your tobacco is too moist. Aromatics tend to have more moisture, but almost all tobaccos out of the bag or tin can use some drying out. Here's what works for me. I let the tobacco dry until dry to the touch when squeezed. I don't want it totally dried out as in crumbly, but dry and still pliant. Too much moisture causes steam, which dulls the flavor and also causes tongue bite. Try putting a bowlful of tobacco on a plate and leaving it for 45 minutes to an hour. If it still feels damp, give it more time. If it's too dry, as in brittle, try again and give it less time. In short order, you will have a good idea what a reasonably dry tobacco will feel like.
Load your pipe using the method of your choice. You want to be able to draw without effort.
I prefer a match to a lighter for lighting a pipe and getting an even light. It's easier to direct the flame over the tobacco and get a good even burn. Puff while lighting, not while smoking. Sip like sipping scotch when smoking. Slowly sip the smoke and exhale it through your nose. Focus on the flavors.
Don't worry about the pipe going out. If it goes out, just relight. There is no award given for smoking a pipe to the bottom of a bowl.
Practice and patience will be rewarded.
This becomes relaxing when you stop worrying about it.

I still try to smoke everything fresh, especially aromatics. Oddly enough many of them still burn just fine, or even too hot and need smothering (Sutliff Top Shelf).
For everything else, it's normal to spend 10-20 minutes lighting over and over. I like to think of it as extending the flavour of the charring light, which is often some of the best.

I'm trying not to deviate from my normal cadence, hard puffing during lighting will burn you. Let the flame do the lighting and just puff like normal, which is how I enjoy the first 20 minutes of the bowl.

Just sit with the lighter in one hand and the pipe in the other and apply flame as needed.

Once I have a layer of ash there isn't much that won't burn on its own the rest of the way (Ropes do not burn well, someday I'm going to try Brown Bogie again, and this time I'll be armed with a flamethrower).
I think English blends might be best dry though. Last week I tried rehydrating some Star of the East, and it seemed to sap most of the flavour somehow.

All of the above, plus in the early days I found my best smokes happened when I was doing something else whilst smoking.

The magic just happened, maybe because I was stressing too much over all the details for it to work properly.

When doing other things my body just got on with gently puffing away and not thinking about what I was doing.

Dry that baccy out though.

For everything else, it's normal to spend 10-20 minutes lighting over and over.

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I never, ever, have to do that.

I can get anything burning right away with butane!

As the others said: your tobacco is way too moist. When I started smoking a pipe, I made a common mistake among neophytes: I thought moist tobacco was better than a "on the dry side". That it would taste better and for a longer period.
I finally learned that it was only generating major problems, of which several relights was just a part of it. The tobacco needs to be at minimal moisture, which means that when you pinch it between your fingers, it doesn't stay in the ball you just made; but releases quickly (if you can visualize this). If it stays in a ball, then it's way too moist.
The other mistake I made, is constantly buying heavy cased tobaccos. Sure, they smell great but don't burn so great. And don't taste much, on second thought. And make a lot of moisture while burning, and the cake of my pipe was all goopy and soft.
Now, if you want to be able to relax when you smoke your pipe, you need to consider steering clear of heavy cased aromatics and buy less cased tobaccos. I can't make suggestions for tobaccos as I don't know what you like. But maybe something like a mild English would be a good starter. The first time I bought a mild English, I was a bit put off by its aroma. But upon lighting, I discovered something simply fantastic: that good quality tobaccos do not need casings to taste good. Virginias bring some sweetness, orientals, some spicy tastes and latakia, smokiness. The result is quite, ah, tasty. And that's besides the fact that my smoking moments were a lot better! That is when I stopped buying Captain Black and other heavily cased tobaccos.
As for relights, they are normal. I'm almost 30 years in the hobby and have never smoked a full pipeful after a charring light and relight. Stuff happens and your pipe goes out. It's perfectly normal.

I don't smoke aromatics, much. I think those are the ones that CAN be moist and problematic. My gut feeling is that the 'pack' is your problem as much as anything. The harder you draw the hotter the burn. Give it some room and take it easy. Experiment with different bowl sizes and blends...

After two yrs of frustration, your persistence and dedication are admirable! I hope you've had SOME enjoyment and predict that you'll get to a better place. Two years!?! Wow.

You can't force it. Go for a 'full' bowl...a bowl that accepts your tobacco w/o having to push it in much.

Dottle, as you will know from our fellow smokers here, is not unusual and not an indication of failure.

I do think that if you enjoy Lat blends, they seem to burn more easily, at least until you acquire better technique. $.02.

mike