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Ugliest pipe shape ever created

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    Anonymous

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    I don't mean one of a kind weirdos but made more than once intentionally. I can't post photos here, excuse my ignorance, but go to Roush's website and look at something he and Pease created together--the pokerhawk, a monstrosity if there ever was one. There are several shapes that hurt my eyes but this one actually makes me look the other way. What are your choices? Post photos if you can.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  2. anthonyrosenthal74

    anthonyrosenthal74

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    I actually kind of like the look of the Pokerhawk

    http://glpease.com/Pipes/Roush/PokerHawk.html

    http://www.briarart.com/0636text.htm

    I've a feeling it would look better on a smooth pipe though.

    Arrrrr, shiver me timbers! International Talk Like a Pirate Day is September the 19th!!!
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    Posted 4 years ago #
  3. cosmicfolklore

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    After a choking down a few of my own words, I've become more careful of saying that there are shapes that I hate. I was in the Briary pointing out that I hated pokers. These fat little stumps that (I thought) looked ridiculous. I used to also wonder aloud who on earth would want a volcano shape. They just looked unbalanced to me, fat on the bottom and thin on top, not a good clencher. And, then Brian Rowley was in there one day showing off his newest pipes, and I fell in love with his "Old Uncle Snort" pipe, so I bought it on the spot. I still love that pipe, but every time I walk into the Briary with it clenched, all of the guys rag on me because it's a poker. "Look at Michael's ugly poker pipe," said dripping with sarcasm. And, then there was Todd Johnson, showing off some his beautiful... yep, volcanoes. I actually passed on that one, because I just couldn't stomach another batch of words to chock down. I figure that if I keep my mouth shut about volcanoes for a while, they'll forget, and I can go ahead and pick up one of Todd's, ha ha.

    Michael
    Posted 4 years ago #
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    Anonymous

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    Tony, my regrets on your artisticly deprived youth. Does it resemble a meat pounding tool to you? LOL

    Posted 4 years ago #
  5. newbroom

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    I don't care what anybody else thinks, I think that's a beauty! Specially if it weighs in @ under 30g.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  6. tbradsim1

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    It's just like Women there ain't No ugly ones just fat ones and skinny ones. The older you are the truer it is Cher.

    The Old Cajun
    Posted 4 years ago #
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    newbroom, that shape is heavy and poorly balanced for clenching. What is it advantage over a poker or Italian hawk or even a volcano? A bent billiard would be preferable in all aspects.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  8. mso489

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    It's a sitter, and that's good. And I like poker, so to me, that's good. I think the finish is a little lumpy. I like blasts,
    most rustication, and other textures, but to me, it's just too gross a texture.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  9. newbroom

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    To say it's unbalanced because of the picture doesn't do justice to the designers. As for the texture...it is unique and shall I say, ergo-dynamic?

    Posted 4 years ago #
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    Ergo my butt, but nevertheless, if you disagree with my choice, how about giving some examples of what you consider ugly pipe shapes.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  11. cosmicfolklore

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    There's not going to be any pipe that everyone agrees is the most beautiful nor the ugliest. Everyone has different tastes. Heck, there are people who like to smoke Lakelands, ha ha!

    Posted 4 years ago #
  12. anthonyrosenthal74

    anthonyrosenthal74

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    Ok... here's what I think is an ugly pipe shape.

    However I think this is one of those one of a kind, made only once kind of weirdos.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  13. alex87

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    Honestly....Blowfish...I just think they are gross.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  14. dryseason91

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    I had considered dressing up as an Oom Paul or a panelled billiard for Halloween, but the necessity in that case of covering all the mirrors in my house sort of put me off.

    Tenants of the house,
    Thoughts of a dry brain in a dry season.
    - 'Gerontion'
    Posted 4 years ago #
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    Notice if you will, that the ugly pipes are usually made by "artisan carvers". Is this because they know that no other carver could construct their new monstrosity?

    Posted 4 years ago #
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    I have a Pokerhawk (a blasted one - number #2195 on Larry Roush's website if you care to look) and I think it's a wonderful shape. But I can see how one would think it's ugly. I guess it's just a matter of taste.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  17. sablebrush52

    sablebrush52

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    I don't mind the look of the pokerhawk. It's not graceful, but it does present a straightforward solidity. MY least favorite shape is the bulldog. No logical reason, just don't like it.

    It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. - Mark Twain

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    Posted 4 years ago #
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    sablebrush, I don't like bulldogs the way they are usually made, but I have two that are tall with a 7/8" bowl diameter, and they are light enough to clench. Thank you Radice and Skovgaard.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  19. maxpeters

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    This is not my photo, but one I saw online. But these thing are ugly to me.

    Or any carved pipe of Hillary C. for that matter.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  20. sablebrush52

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    There's also someone who produces deliberately ugly pipes. I thought their company name was Monster pipes, but a Google search failed to turn up anything relevant. So I forgot the name of the brand, but they're superbly ugly monstrosities. Maybe someone in the hive knows who this is.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  21. lordnoble

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    HERE is the OomPaul Monstrosities. The ones toward the top of the page aren't bad, but the middle is where the beasts come out to play with this one leading the charge:

    -Jason

    The preceding statement is not to be construed as fact, but merely conjecture.

    Proud member of the BlackBlood Society
    Posted 4 years ago #
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    that looks like a child's toy, or poor attempt at a flower vase.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  23. sablebrush52

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    Thanks, Lord.

    Pretty damned ugly.

    Posted 4 years ago #
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    On the other hand--the most creative pipes I have seen were made by an oldtimer who retired just as I returned to pipe smoking in 2001. His name was Mr. Groum, and he was famous for his pipes that looked like real pieces of fruit, guns, musical instruments. An erstwhile online dealer showed me pages of his creations but regretted that none could be ordered anymore. Maybe some of the oldtimers here have heard of Mr. Groum or have seen some of his work, the most eclectic creative pipes ever made.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  25. dottiewarden

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    After a choking down a few of my own words, I've become more careful of saying that there are shapes that I hate.

    Too true Cosmic, too true. I was definitely a Bulldog hater until a member of this forum, can't remeber who, stated that for him it was the ONLY pipe shape. I decided to open my mind on the matter and low and behold, one of my favorite pipes is my Peterson Sterling Silver 80s Bent Bulldog.

    I also have a couple of straight Bulldogs I use as my road warriors. They may not be the prettiest pipes, but they sure are sturdy, great little smokers!

    Dot
    Posted 4 years ago #
  26. newbroom

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    soymilkisgood, can you speak to the balance and handling of your hawk? Does it clench nicely? How about its weight?

    Posted 4 years ago #
  27. ericthered

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    For my money the ugliest pipes out there are the Danish freehands. I can appreciate the artistry that went into the high quality ones, but it's a shape that will *probably* never work it's way into my collection.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  28. leacha

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    In the early '00s after seeing my first falcon I thought "that is an ugly pipe and I don't understand how anyone could own 'em". Fast forward to now, I have a nice collection of them. Tastes change.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  29. cmdrmcbragg

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    @gigger48, I kinda like that shape of the Poker hawk. I'd probably never add one to my collection but it isn't an eyesore.

    @ericthered, yeah, I don't really care for a lot of freehand pipes and the Danish ones definitely don't do it for me. I can respect them, but from a distance.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  30. lochinvar

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    There are no standard shapes I really find ugly. I dislike poorly proportioned pipes and most of the new "artisan" shapes. The new carvers remind me of new cooks; they add too many elements and spoil the really great underlying ingredient/shape.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  31. johnnyreb

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    This one should be called the "cow paddy":

    http://www.ebay.com/itm/TableTop-straight-grain-PLATEAU-FAN-Briar-Pipe-SARDEGNA-wood-gift-box-sock-ITALY-/130655756313?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item1e6bb0a019

    Seller says he can add a brass plate for monogrammed initials. I hope he is talking about adding it to the box and not the cow paddy!

    Rebels been rebels since I don't know when
    Posted 4 years ago #
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    Differences are what makes the world go round. I do like the Danish freehands if they are light enough to clench and have a 7/8" bowl diameter. Kent Rasmussen makes beautiful ones or variations on standard shapes. Totally agree with lochinvar about the new artisan carvers. They often seem to be more interested in avant garde shapes than true beauty.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  33. papipeguy

    papipeguy

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    I am the proud owner and winner of the ugliest pipe contest peck started a few months ago. a Preban Holm Harcourt.

     photo DSCN0756.jpg

     photo DSCN0759.jpg
     photo DSCN0760.jpg

    Blowin' smoke since 1970.
    Posted 4 years ago #
  34. astrange1

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    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I like the Pokerhawk, his shapes are definitely out of the ordinary though for sure.

    Posted 4 years ago #
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    papipeguy, that pipe would have made a good 8 sided panel. Maybe a carver could reshape it.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  36. papipeguy

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    gig, that pipe is signed by Preban so I'm not messing with it, although I can't imagine what was going through his mind when he made it. Dunhill bought Hardcastle to get into the Danish/Outre style but it didn't last long from what I understand.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  37. darthcider

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    Beauty is surely in the eye of the beholder, but if you are talking about pipes,shouldn't the key point be whether they can be smoked?

    Education is important, but motorbikes is importanter.
    Posted 4 years ago #
  38. ssjones

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    Pa, that Harcourt is so ugly it's attractive!

    Al

    Posted 4 years ago #
  39. snagstangl

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    olie sylvester pipes, ugly as sin.

    http://www.pipesandcigars.com/brands/1778/olie-sylvester/?type=Pipes

    Posted 4 years ago #
  40. warren

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    How a pipe smokes can't be determined until you light the first bowl. The shape is the first and foremost what attracts me to a possible purchase. I've seen many "free hands" not one of which would I own, much less subject to my "how does it fill my hand" test. All were "ugly" to my eye. Obviously, others are of different thought. Entirely personal preference as has been stated above. But, if a pipe doesn't "please" my eye it'll never get to the "how does it smoke" stage.

    A man without a shillelagh is a man without an expedient.
    Posted 4 years ago #
  41. allan

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    I had considered dressing up as an Oom Paul or a panelled billiard for Halloween, but the necessity in that case of covering all the mirrors in my house sort of put me off.

    You see? I happen to love the Oom Paul shape (mine is a Dunhill)but admittedly, it is a difficult pipe to smoke, pipe cleaner wise.

    I just love the shape, though.

    Bull dogs are not my favorite.

    Allan
    Posted 4 years ago #
  42. johnnyreb

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    I currently like Lumbermans or tall chimney billiards for a long smoke and squat Bulldogs & Rhodesians for a quick one.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  43. papipeguy

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    Geez, snag, those Sylvester's look like meat mallets.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  44. mlaug

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    The Harcourt may have been made by Holm, but it looks like Robert Burns got hold of it at some time. He worked on pipes he bought and also made some from scratch. He worked under the Micoli name and his signature style was the use of a Dremel tool for rustication.

    Here is the Pipedia entry for Micoli pipes: http://pipedia.org/wiki/Micoli

    Here is a simple Bing image search for the same: http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Micoli+pipes&FORM=HDRSC2

    Notice the similarities in styles.

    The reason I say that it looks more like a Micoli pipe than a Holm's pipe is that Holms never rusticated pipes in that fashion, but Burns did.

    "America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." - Claire Wolfe
    Posted 4 years ago #
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    mlaug, very good eye you have. At one time Micoli pipes commanded a high price.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  46. mso489

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    I'm ill equipped to do art criticism -- about pipes or otherwise -- but to me there's a difference between ugly, which is a sort of
    failed attempt to do something with grace, balance and eye appeal, and outlandish, which can be way out creative and still have
    an eye-catching quality, a creative juice, an originality that goes beyond polite variations on the traditional shapes. I'm not sure
    I'd enjoy smoking some of the more quirky Mummert pipes, but I see what he's doing by way of testing the boundaries. Do I want
    to settle back in my old swivel chair and puff on that? No, but I admire the fantasy and reach of the design. Hand me my Yello-Bole.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  47. agnosticpipe

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    I agree about the Olie Sylvester pipes. He calls them monstrosities, and for good reason! I happen to like some of them. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder!

    Here's my own ugly pipe I made some time ago from an old no name pipe that was in sad shape. Yes, I was inspired by Olie Sylvester's pipes, and I called it "Frankenpipe". It actually smokes pretty good, and in fact I'm smoking some Grousemoor in it now!

    The pipe smoker formerly know as agnostic pipe
    "Fried food, hard liquor, and tobacco, that's the holy trinity!"- Stacy Keach
    Posted 4 years ago #
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    glenrockpipeworks

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    I agree, Mr Groum was quite the craftsman... And a gentleman as well. I was 16 when I met him, very nice man.

    Posted 4 years ago #
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    @Gigger ... yes ugly pipes are made by supposed artisan wood shapers and the answer as to why is because they really have no clue as to how to make a classic shape. Every pipe they make is some interpretation of this or that and a copy interpretation of this or that pipe made by some other supposed artisan wood shaper. It is almost amazing at the beginning of a pipe show to see all sorts of interpreted shapes at a pipe show made by supposed artisan wood shapers but what is not amazing is to see so many of them still unsold at the end of a pipe show. What is even more amazing though is everyone pats these supposed artisan wood shapers on the shoulder telling them how great they look and should smoke and they send them home thinking they are great artisan wood shapers and they don't realize there shaping chunks of wood that people are just to nice to say they are ugly.

    Actually now that "Poker Hawk" shape has serious potential. In a smooth finish with the right grain and with straightening the lines of the bowl to take out most of the bulkiness of it ... well it wouldn't be that bad of a shape.

    Posted 4 years ago #
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    I think some of the Doodler pipes are ugly as sin. I like the rough carving of the Custombilts, even own one, but those Doodlers are just butt-ugly, IMHO.

    Posted 4 years ago #
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    You guys found some ugly ones for sure.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  52. griffonwing

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    I have a Doodler as well. Here is my Dooder with a tin of Charing Cross.

    I also chanced upon a very weird looking pipe in a unique shop. It was $40, however, it was so unique that it was worth the purchase, though normally I wouldnt have spent that kind of money on it. I will be reaming this out and doing a full cleaning on it soon. There is also a asliver missing from the front "plug" that someone tried to unplug. I may simply remove (saw it off) and replace it with a silver button or something unique.

    Hoody Hoo! Roll for Initiative, Monkey-boy!
    Posted 4 years ago #
  53. blueeyedogre

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    Lol what's next? "How does that pipe look?".... "Well, it has a great personality".

    "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong." - Corinthians 16:13
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    Posted 4 years ago #
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    Griffon, that pipe looks like a fossilized dinosaur turd.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  55. griffonwing

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    It probably smokes like one, too. I have yet to fill it. I do know the stem can't go all the way to the hilt, leaving a tiny gap, but I hope that once its completely clean, it will fit or I can make the adjustments needed.

    I am thinking this would be a great pipe for my pirate..

    Posted 4 years ago #
  56. balkaneddie

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    The cowpatty looks like a Texas slapper with pimples.

    Posted 4 years ago #
  57. 7ach

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    What one calls an ugly monstrosity, another might call original or fun. I'm not personally a fan of any pipes pictured in this thread but I can guarantee someone loves them. If everyone smoked the same factory shaped billiard, it would be a boring hobby.

    Posted 4 years ago #

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