Too Many Hands: Degrees of Smoking Danger

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12pups

Lifer
Feb 9, 2014
1,063
2
Minnesota
From Levels of Legacy of Cigarette Smoke
-- A "Handy" Guide to Protective Legislation
First-Hand Smoke – Actual smoking
Secondhand Smoke – Actually being exposed to first-hand smoke
Third-Hand Smoke – Residue of secondhand smoke on clothing, furniture and walls
Fourth-Hand Smoke – Sight of real people smoking outdoors or seeing a film, photograph or painting of a person(s) smoking indoors
Fifth-Hand Smoke – Seeing a building knowing for sure that people are smoking inside
Sixth-Hand Smoke – Thinking that people just might be smoking in that building and thinking you might smell it
Seventh-Hand Smoke – Even though you looked in the window and the building is absolutely empty, completely quiet and the lights are off, you can smell something and you think it might be smoke
Eighth-Hand Smoke – Speaking to or thinking about a current smoker
Ninth-Hand Smoke – Speaking to or thinking about a person who used to smoke
Tenth-Hand Smoke – Thinking of or speaking to a deceased relative who used to smoke
Remember: It's never too late to change careers. All of this has to be researched, and there are only so many researchers. I imagine there's plenty of lab smocks and clipboards to go around.

 

12pups

Lifer
Feb 9, 2014
1,063
2
Minnesota
"Fourth Hand" should be corrected. I think it's actually defined as "being around someone who was around someone who smoked."

 

agnosticpipe

Lifer
Nov 3, 2013
3,332
3,413
In the sticks in Mississippi
Thanks 12pups, I was beginning to worry that I wasn't fully informed about these ever present dangers! I was familiar with the first 3, but then, I also was the source of them.

Geez, I guess I'm my own worst enemy. Wait, does that make me the Eleventh Hand?

 

brian64

Lifer
Jan 31, 2011
9,602
14,666
There is actually one category above First-Hand Smoke.
Kramer Level Smoke Exposure
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpyBxXeTbDA

 

woodsroad

Lifer
Oct 10, 2013
11,569
15,218
SE PA USA
We bought our house from the estate of a heavy smoker. Every now and then, in the middle of the night, we'll hear footsteps, the almost inaudible murmur of "whe-e-e-er's My-y-y-y Li-i-i-i-ghter?" and then the faintest whisp of aroma from an unfiltered Camel.
Am I a victim yet?

 

12pups

Lifer
Feb 9, 2014
1,063
2
Minnesota
Woodsroad... I've lit a candle for you (which, by today's standard, puts the last nail in your coffin).
I think songs by people *named* Smokey are at least 11th hand. Everyone knows them by their litigation-proof renamed titles or altered lyrics but not by their subliminal tobacco messages and working titles/lyrics.
Suppress your coughing as you look at just a few:
- "I Second Hand Emotion" (Obviously had to change hand to that)
- "I Think You've Gone Fourth Hand on Me"
- "Just to See Her" (all it takes, apparently)
- "Really Gonna Miss You (So you licked my armchair? Bye-bye, baby)
- "Lucky, Lucky Me" (Written after seeing someone drive by smoking, but... he lived)

 
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