Tobacco Barn (Brenham, TX)

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deathmetal

Lifer
Jul 21, 2015
7,714
32
This article is posted here for your convenience. If you want to read the original, with more pictures and formatting and stuff, you can do so on the website.
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When one traipses through the country outside of the lock-step conformist big cities, it behooves the pipe smoker to look for those varieties of tobacco favored in the less “civilized” areas of the world. This might bring one to Brenham, Texas, where the Brookshire Brothers grocery store offers up a unique and wonderful American tradition: the drive-thru Tobacco Barn.
Brenham is about an hour and a half away from both Houston and San Antonio, and has seen better days. Its major industries are oil, Blue Bell ice cream, and selling weekend homes to Houston suits who will ten in turn sell them after a few years of realizing that even driving only an hour and a half every Friday afternoon is a pain in the neck.
The tourist trade has divided Brenham in two. Like many mid-size Texas towns, Brenham has a tourist-thriving downtown, which local leaders were quick to promote, but if you do not like gift shops and overly contrived restaurants, this is not for you. The tourist aspect to Brenham also adds a hostility to outsiders, since most of them are here to see the Disney-Potemkin downtown and will never witness the town itself, which ranges from lovely middle-class homes and turn of the century restorations to miles of trailers and neglected houses falling apart where the workers at the town’s food service and landscaping — a big business because of all those Houston-bought homes — industries live. Most of the business trucks seen in town are local landscapers, and it has an abundance of restaurants to serve the “roaring arterial” of the freeway.
Our journey came with a singular hope, which was to find rare and delectable pipe tobaccos for the long trip to the next city on our itinerary. We found the Tobacco Barn without problem because Brenham is constructed in a straightforward manner. US 290 runs south of the Old Town and just north of the new suburbs and commercial area which has sprung up by the highway in order to service the flood of people who drive past and, apparently, just veer off the road whenever they are tired or hungry or need gasoline. The old downtown is sensibly boxed within two one-way streets, but south of it, one can ride market street until it dead ends into Austin Street. Heading south, this street moves on a curving course around the river, creating a broad front on which many of the everyday needs of the town are met.
For an adult who appreciates the fine pleasures of life, the Tobacco Barn is like Christmas morning. From the official description:
We call it a barn, but it’s really a storehouse of specialty tobacco products, accessories and beverages. Tobacco Barn carries a robust selection of cigarettes, moist snuff, roll-your-own tobacco, domestic cigars, filtered cigars, electronic cigarettes, vaping products, clove filter cigars, chewing tobacco, hookah style tobacco and snus. For those seeking specialty products, we also carry filters, pouches, Zippo lighters, cigar cutters and more. And every Tobacco Barn features a top-of-the-line humidor for the cigar aficionado. A great selection of beer is also available in most locations.
Walk into the Barn, and you will find everything you need to prepare for a weekend. A large refrigerated unit holds big brand beer, which if you have had nothing better will be acceptable, and is preferable to the ironic hipstery IPAs that cost four times as much and are just as sugary. One wall is nothing but every conceivable variety of cigarette available domestically. Yes, it would be great to see 555 Specials or Galoises on the shelf, but for now, they are limited to the domestic brands. Display racks full of smoking accessories serve as a counter in front of the cigarette wall, across from which is a giant cabinet-style humidor with many imported cigars of every level of price.But at the far end are shelves of miscellaneous tobacco products, and there one finds the pipe tobacco on one-half of the shelf just above the bottom one in what looked like an Ikea (icky-ahhh) shelf.
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For some reason, the gods of nature or nature showed favor to this lonely smoker, because on that shelf sat the holy grail of Nicotine maniacs worldwide, and possibly the last widely-available vestige of the days of cowboy tobacco, the Cotton Boll Twist. For those who have not experienced this wonder of tobacco, it is a “rope” or “twist” made by taking relatively unrefined tobacco leaves and wrapping them into ropes, then looping them on themselves for easy hanging so that they may cure slowly. This is straight Burley flavor with no added top flavoring, and so it has a buttery, nutty and leafy taste as opposed to the more grassy Virginias, smoky Latakias, sweet-n-sour (think General Joe’s Chicken) Orientals, and piquant Perique. Meant to be chewed or smoked, these twists are durable and meant to survive under tough conditions. They also did not bother to lessen the Nicotine, so for those who want a full-intensity blend or a strong Burley to perk up a flavorful Virginia (for example, Rattray’s Hal O’ The Wynd) the Cotton Boll Twist is a rare treat.
Other tobaccos were available also. Many Texas Walmarts and grocery stores stock Prince Albert (which seems better by the pouch than the tub) and Carter Hall, and many Walgreen’s pharmacies/convenience stores will stock Captain Black, but Tobacco Barn had these and more. Borkum Riff and what appeared to be Velvet were also on the shelves, alongside Bugler and several other brands unrecognized by this author. These are a topic for future Tobacco Barn exploration, because the place was hopping at the time we were there, about 11:30 AM on a Wednesday. The drive-thru had several vehicles and customers were three-deep at the register with more coming in the door, which had a real 1970s-style dangling bell to let staff know. As a result, this was not the time to query overworked people about a hobby pursuit, and this meant that we were able to vanish quickly with five of the prized Cotton Boll Twists and almost zero drama.
While many recognize deservedly esteemed American tobaccos such as Cornell & Diehl and G.L. Pease, the old-school classics do not get enough of the love because they are hard to write about. One can write the standard tobacco review:
The Virginias are a bouquet of hay and honey flavors. Then comes the spicy, exotic flavor of Latakia with a tea-like overtone. There are notes of cocoa, molasses, pecans, cinnamon and persimmon. After that, the nutty and insouciant Burley makes its appearance. The latter half of the bowl presents a whisky, leather and dried human flesh like flavor. This blend requires zero drying time, made big clouds of smoke, and burned down to a fine white ash with little dottle. For those who like variations of the time-honored formulas, this quirky and unusual take on those otherwise functional — said sneeringly — blends is a breath of fresh air. I smoked this one in my 1968 GBD pitbull billiard with a bent ivory stem and military mount.
But there is no room in that for “These are hard-hitting Burley leaves, wrapped up to endure days on the road, full of dry leaf flavor for those who love tobacco more than contrivance, and they will lay your mind to rest when you are far from home and down on your luck.” This is war-tobacco, because life is war, and when you get outside the bubble of jobs, credit cards, shopping malls and 500-channel cable that afflicts most cities and now even most large towns, the brilliance of the simple Cotton Boll Twist becomes clear in your mind. If not, try smoking one… the Nicotine power wave might help you in this realization.

 

mayfair70

Lifer
Sep 14, 2015
1,968
2
The latter half of the bowl presents a whisky, leather and dried human flesh like flavor

My favorite line from the review. I need one of these barns by my house. No pretense and well stocked. Excellent writing, as usual, Deathmetal. 8)

 

deathmetal

Lifer
Jul 21, 2015
7,714
32
Thank you all for reading, and I hope you get a chance to visit the Tobacco Barn.
The name fills me with positive associations.
In parts of Texas, we use to have the "Beer Barn," a place you could drive through and they would just put the kegs in the bed of your pickup.
Just down the street was the drive-in bar and shooting range...
I love Texas.

 

deathmetal

Lifer
Jul 21, 2015
7,714
32
I can think of worse places for a pipe smoker sit in. We'll sit here and smoke until the FDA deeming rules are repealed.
Like a hunger strike, but with more flavor.

 

okiebrad

Starting to Get Obsessed
Feb 13, 2016
292
2
Thanks deathmetal, that was a great read. When one of my boys was going to Texas A&M we went fishing at Somerville Lake and we passed through Brenham. Wished I would have known about Tobacco Barn. I will have to stop by there next time I head that direction.

 

thomasw

Part of the Furniture Now
Dec 5, 2016
862
24
deathmetal, that place sounds fantastic, truly like a 'christmas morning'. i guess what makes it particularly attractive for me is that it is something that, economically, could no longer exist in the great white north where I live; and sometimes fantasies are rather attractive even to a skeptical mind -- or perhaps especially so? anyway I will have to try some of that cotton boll twist someday. i think i'd like to try blending it...

 

deathmetal

Lifer
Jul 21, 2015
7,714
32
sometimes fantasies are rather attractive even to a skeptical mind -- or perhaps especially so?
The skeptical mind is attracted to the possibility of making things happen, so fantasies are appealing challenges. Also, other than our broken society, there is no reason such a thing could not exist elsewhere.
I highly recommend Cotton Boll Twist. It is great on its own, but a wonderful warm flavor mixed with Virginia and a little Perique, creating a flavor like Marzipan with the kick of a mule!

 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,459
The plainer burley is served, the more complex it gets, or something like that. It is an essential experience, maybe the essential experience.

 

deathmetal

Lifer
Jul 21, 2015
7,714
32
I agree. There is variation within its flavor, different from how "salad blends" offer different flavors. I can enjoy a good English or mixed Burley/Virginia/Cavendish/Perique/etc., but sometimes, a straight Burley delivers the nuance that others cannot.

 

bigtex

Starting to Get Obsessed
Feb 2, 2015
160
26
TX
My mom is going to stop there today on her way here and grab me some Cotton Bowl Twist, if they have some! I'm a bit excited.

 
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