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The Joke Thread: Not Safe For Work (NSFW)

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  • Started 4 years ago by pipegangster
  • Latest reply from Teddy
  1. crazypipe

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    Q: What has a hundred balls and screws old women?

    A: Bingo.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  2. crazypipe

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    Three middle-aged men are golfing one day. All are proud parents, and so they begin to brag about their children.

    “My son is doing incredibly well for himself,” the first man says. “He’s a lawyer, and he’s just rolling in the money! In fact, he has so much money that he bought his friend a sports car.”

    The second man says, “I can top that. My son is even wealthier! He’s a skilled brain surgeon; he makes a fortune. He has so much money that he bought his friend a huge house.”

    “What about you, Frank?” the two men ask their friend.

    Frank sheepishly looks at his feet. “Well, my son is, um … well, he’s in gay porn.”

    His two friends express their condolences before Frank speaks one more:

    “Still, I guess he’s doing well for himself. After all, he has a huge house and drives a brand-new sports car.”

    Posted 2 years ago #
  3. crazypipe

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    Posted 2 years ago #
  4. crazypipe

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    NORTH CAROLINA DEPUTY SHERIFF

    vs

    NEW YORK LAWYER

    Only in NC my friends... Only in NC ...

    A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any cop from Nowhere, N C. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the NORTH CAROLINA deputy's expense.

    The deputy says, 'License and registration, please.'

    'What for?' says the lawyer..

    The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign..'

    Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

    'You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy. License and registration, please.'

    The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'

    'The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!' the Deputy repeats.

    Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket. '

    'That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,' the deputy says.

    At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'

    God Bless NORTH CAROLINA

    Posted 2 years ago #
  5. crazypipe

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    A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened .

    Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

    When

    the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God , USA ,
    they decided to send it to President Obama.

    Obama was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a

    $ 5.00 bill.

    He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

    The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:

    Dear God: Thank you very much for sending
    the money. However, I noticed that for
    some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C. and that asshole Obama took $95.00 in taxes.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  6. crazypipe

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    An elderly couple was driving cross-country, and the woman was driving.

    She gets pulled over by the highway patrol.

    The officer says, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?"

    The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

    The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."

    The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"

    The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

    The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE."

    The woman gives him her license.

    The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."

    The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

    "HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  7. crazypipe

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  8. crazypipe

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    http://www.youtube.com/embed/U430rpfjIIQ

    TO FUNNY

    Posted 2 years ago #
  9. pstlpkr

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    That's hilarious!


    "Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put." Winston Churchill
    View Lawrence  Whitcomb's profile on LinkedIn
    Posted 2 years ago #
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    mudshark

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    i guess this one isnt too bad, but it is if you said it in a chinese restaurant :}

    mr. wong is sitting in the waiting room at the eye doctors', waiting for his results and the doctor finally comes out and approaches mr.wong. "mr. wong? i'm afraid i have some bad news for you, it looks like you have a cataract." mr.wong replies " cataract? no. i have a ringkin"

    in case you dont get the joke, say ringkin outloud and remember that hes chinese saying the name of a car :

    Posted 2 years ago #
  11. crazypipe

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    Posted 2 years ago #
  12. crazypipe

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    Louisiana Ghost Story (True Story)

    Even if you're a non-believer you need to read this!

    Louisiana Ghost Story (true story)

    This happened about 6 months ago on Louisiana Hwy 57, just outside of Dulac, a little town in the bayou country of Louisiana, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's real.

    An Ohio businessman, Saul Rubins, abandoned his disabled vehicle on the side of the road, and attempted to hitchhike. The night was pitch dark in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face.

    Suddenly, through the sheets of rain, he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped. Desperately needing a ride, Saul jumped in the car and closed the door. Only then did he realize that there was no one behind the wheel and no sound of an engine to be heard over the rain.

    Again the car crept silently forward and Saul was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running.. He saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and beg for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and into the bayou and he would then drown!

    But just before the curve, a shadowy hand appeared at the driver's window, reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and Saul was alone again.

    Paralyzed with fear, Saul watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally, scared nearly to death, Saul had all he could take, jumped out of the car, and ran to town..

    Wet and in shock, he went into Schmoopy's. Voice quavering, he ordered two cups of coffee, black, and then told everybody about his supernatural experience. The room became silent and everybody got goose bumps when they realized Saul was telling the truth and was not just some drunk. About 30 minutes later two Cajuns, dripping wet, walked into Schmoopy's and one says to the other,

    " Look, Boudreaux, ders dat idiot what rode in our car when we wuz pushin' it in da rain!!!"

    Posted 2 years ago #
  13. crazypipe

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    [+] Embed the video | Video DownloadGet the Flash Videos

    FUNNY

    Posted 2 years ago #
  14. crazypipe

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    Posted 2 years ago #
  15. samcoffeeman

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    The wife yawned, "I'm so tired i wish you could brush my teeth for me."
    Husband unzips pants, "One minute, I have to put some paste on the brush!"

    We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,
    that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable Rights,
    that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness
    Posted 2 years ago #
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    mudshark

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    what do crabs do on a saturday night? pube crawl.. badaboom.. tshhhhh

    Posted 2 years ago #
  17. crazypipe

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    Photobucket

    Posted 1 year ago #
  18. crazypipe

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  19. crazypipe

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    A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS
    HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP.

    THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK.

    BUT, ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN,

    GRIPS ONTO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON

    TOP OF HIS HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.

    HIS MOTHER SAYS, "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE."

    BILLY SAYS, "I'M FINE, MOMMY. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE POTTY YET."

    MOTHER SAYS, "OKAY, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES, BUT BILLY,
    WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?"

    BILLY SAYS, "WORKS FOR KETCHUP."

    ENJOY LIFE NOW...IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE

    Posted 1 year ago #
  20. samcoffeeman

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    True story:

    I was watching TV when a commercial came on for the Sofa King, whose sales pitch was:

    Where the prices are Sofa King low! (Don't speak this too loudly)

    Posted 1 year ago #
  21. samcoffeeman

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    True story:

    I was working at Starbucks, and we had a good line of customers. As usual there was one woman talking on her cellphone while waiting in line. Then there was a magical moment when all of a sudden everything seemed to get very quiet as she exclaimed. "You didn't get his name until afterwards????" The entire store(at least a dozen people) started laughing. She turned bright red, realizing what had just occurred. A couple minutes later, when i handed her drink to her I said, "I need to meet some friends like yours." She laughed, but I wasn't really joking ha!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  22. crazypipe

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    Posted 1 year ago #
  23. crazypipe

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    Posted 1 year ago #
  24. crazypipe

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    One day little Johnny was sitting in math class and his teacher was asking the class word problems when she got to Little Johnny and said "If there are three birds sitting on a power line and you grab your shot gun and shoot two of them, how many are left?"

    "None" Johnny replied.

    The teacher said "Actually, one would be left, 3 - 2 = 1"

    Little Johnny said "No, if your using a shot gun to shoot at birds then the other one is going to fly off from the sound"

    The teacher says "well no the answer is still one, but I like the way you think"

    Johnny starts to think to him self "Hmmm you like the way I think huh" and he says to the teacher "Three women are sitting on a park bench and they all have lolly pops. One of them is sucking on it, one is licking it, and the other is biting it. Which one is married?"

    The teacher says "The one sucking it of course"

    And Johnny replies "No, the one wearing the wedding ring... but I like the way you think"

    Posted 1 year ago #
  25. crazypipe

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  26. madmurdoc

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    What do you call iron blowing in the wind?

    FEbreeze

    “The same hand that can write a beautiful poem, can knock you out with one punch—that's Poetic Justice.”
    ― "Irish" Wayne Kelly
    Posted 1 year ago #
  27. madmurdoc

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    A tachyon gets kicked out of a bar. The bartender says “We don’t serve your kind here!”. A tachyon walks into a bar.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  28. madmurdoc

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    Posted 1 year ago #
  29. crazypipe

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  30. crazypipe

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    Posted 1 year ago #
  31. rondyr

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    What do you call a Mexican Dwarf?

    A paragraph, because he's not long enough to be an essay!

    Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

    I'm so awesome, I make myself jealous of myself.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  32. mrenglish

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    Why do blondes prefer convertibles?

    More leg room.

    Michael
    Posted 1 year ago #
  33. crazypipe

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    The Priests Rooster

    The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.

    He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.

    The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.

    At Mass, he asked the congregation, has anyone got a cock? To which all the men stood up.

    "No,no," he said, somewhat flustered, "that's not what I meant. "Has anybody SEEN a cock?" All the women stood up.

    "No, no," he said. "Thats not what I meant either. Has anyone seen a cock that doesn't belong to them." Half the women stood up.

    "No, no," He said, now thoroughly embarrassed "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen MY cock?" All the choirboys stood up.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  34. crazypipe

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  35. crazypipe

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    Photobucket

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  36. crazypipe

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    If Men Got Pregnant...

    Maternity leave would last for two years...with full pay.

    There'd be a cure for stretch marks.

    Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

    Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem.

    All methods of birth control would be improved 100 percent effectiveness.

    Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained.

    Men would be EAGER to talk about commitment.

    They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute.

    Fathers would demand that their SONS be home from dates by 10:00pm.

    Men could use THEIR briefcases as diaper bags.

    They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."

    Paternity suits would be a line of clothes.

    They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months.

    Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  37. crazypipe

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    Posted 1 year ago #
  38. crazypipe

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  39. crazypipe

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  40. crazypipe

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    THREE WISHES

    An old woman saved a fairy's life. To repay this, the fairy promised to grant the old woman three wishes. For the first wish, the old lady asked to become young and beautiful. Poof! She became young and beautiful.

    For the second wish, the old lady asked to be the richest woman in the world. Poof! She was the richest woman in the world.

    For the last wish, she pointed at the cat she had kept for years. She asked that he be turned into the most handsome man on earth. After all, he had been her best friend for so many ears. Poof!

    The fairy turned the cat into the most handsome man on earth. The old lady and the fairy said their goodbyes.

    After the fairy left, the handsome man strolled over to here and asked: "Now aren't you sorry you had me neutered?"

    Posted 1 year ago #
  41. crazypipe

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  42. rondyr

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    The first Christmas present I opened this year was a new Buck knife. I was so excited that I used it to open the rest of my presents.

    Shame about what happened to that kitten.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  43. joshwolftree

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    Found this estate ad from the 50s

    The true measure of a mans worth is how he chooses to chance his mortality
    Junior Member of the Black Bloods
    Posted 1 year ago #
  44. rondyr

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    Posted 1 year ago #
  45. crazypipe

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    A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan they were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.

    From the inside they head a Pakistani accent say, "you foreigners come in. Come in my humble shop." so the married couple walked in.

    The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great dessert camel"

    Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being a sex hero he as.

    The husband, "how could sandals make you into a sex freak?"

    The Pakistani man replied, why don't you see for yourself?"

    Well , the husband after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on.

    As soon as he slipped then onto this feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in years-- raw sexual power.

    In a blink of an eye the husband rushed of too the Pakistani man threw him on the table and started tearing at the guy's pants.

    All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, "YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET"

    Posted 1 year ago #
  46. rondyr

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    I'm still not entirely sure what a "Kardashian" is, but it seems to a piece of exercise equipment for NBA players.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  47. rondyr

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    Here's a poem for all of you with wives/girlfriends (or both) that are in to that Fifty Shades of Grey nonsense:

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Pretend that I am Christian Grey
    While I choke you!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  48. crazypipe

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    The Resurection

    The children were gathered on the front pew one Sunday morning for the Children's Sermon. The minister asked, "Does anyone know what the resurrection is?"
    One little boy blurted out, "I'm not quite sure but I do know that if you have a resurrection that lasts longer than four hours, you have to see a doctor." It took about ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough to continue with the worship service.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  49. crazypipe

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  50. crazypipe

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    Hello Toes:

    An old fella was celebrating 92 years on this earth..

    He spoke to his toes. "Hello toes.", he said. "How are you? You know, you are 92 today. Oh the times we've had! Remember how we walked on the park in the summer everySunday afternoon. The times we waltzed on the dance floor? Happy Birthday toes!"

    "Hello, knees.", he continued. "How are you? You know you're 92 today... Oh, the times we've had! Remember when we marched in the parade? Oh, the hurdles we've jumped together. Happy Birthday, knees."

    Then, he looked down at his crotch. "Hello Willie! You little bugger. Just think. If you were alive today, you'd be 92...

    Posted 1 year ago #
  51. mirain

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    A man goes into a Barnes & Noble Bookstore and asks a young clerk, "Do
    you have the new book out for men with short penises? I can't remember
    the title."

    The clerk replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."

    The man said, "That's the one. I'll take a copy."

    It's hard to soar like an eagle when you work with pigeons.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  52. freakiefrog

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    Ok so a couple goes to the doctor with relationship problem's. The man explains that he wants the doctor to watch them make love. So the doctor agreed and after about 15 minutes the couple were getting dressed. The doctor looks at them and says it looks as if every thing is working properly. Gave them a doctors excuse for work. A week later the couple is back with the same story, once again the doctor watches and finds nothing wrong send them on their way. On the third week the couple is back and the doctor stops them and explains that there is nothing further he can do for them. They laughed and said they know there is nothing wrong and that they were both married to other people and that a hotel room is $80.00 a day where as he's only $30.00 and will give them a note for work..

    I have some friends, some honest friends, and honest friends are few; My pipe of briar, my open fire, A book that's not too new.
    Robert W. Service
    Posted 1 year ago #
  53. joshwolftree

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  54. pstlpkr

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    Posted 1 year ago #
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    The Americans with No Abilities Act

    WASHINGTON, DC, The Washngton Post, 1/22/2012 --

    President Barack Obama and the Democratic Senate are considering
    sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many
    Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a
    major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who
    lack any real skills or ambition.

    "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and
    drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in
    society," said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand
    by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed
    over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant
    special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have
    some idea of what they are doing."

    In a Capitol Hill press conference, former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi
    and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the
    U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing
    opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government
    level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record
    of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

    Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million
    mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles
    but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of
    purpose and performance.

    Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to
    guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees.
    The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that
    promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into
    middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and
    medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for
    every two talented hires.

    Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new
    measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the
    non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions
    such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this
    job?"

    "As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who
    have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her
    position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to
    her inability to remember: ‘righty tighty - lefty loosey’. "This new
    law should be real good for people like me. I’ll finally have job
    security." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other
    untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Said Senator Dick Durbin, "As a senator with no abilities, I believe
    the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended
    to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to
    provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her
    inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation
    and a good salary for doing so."

    Posted 1 year ago #
  56. crazypipe

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    http://youtu.be/FB40D8QHRHU

    Posted 1 year ago #
  57. crazypipe

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    Posted 1 year ago #
  58. crazypipe

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    Posted 1 year ago #
  59. crazypipe

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    THE BLONDE MORTICIAN

    A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

    The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

    The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

    The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...

    She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'
    To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

    'There's no charge,' she says.

    'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

    'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

    'So I just switched the heads.'

    (BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!)

    Posted 1 year ago #
  60. crazypipe

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    Men are so romantic

    A wife being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text...

    "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.

    If you are laughing, send me your smile.

    If you are eating, send me a bite.

    If you are drinking, send me a sip.

    If you are crying, send me your tears.
    I love you."

    He replied... "I am taking a dump. What should I do?"

    Posted 1 year ago #
  61. crazypipe

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    FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

    1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

    2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.

    3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

    4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

    5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

    Bonus: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  62. crazypipe

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    Posted 1 year ago #
  63. trailspike48

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    Why do women have periods? Because they deserve them.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  64. scurvydog

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    Stuttering Cat - as explained by a Grade 4 student

    A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.

    A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."

    The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked
    the girl to describe the incident.

    "Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler
    that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped
    over the fence into our yard!"

    "That must've been scary," said the teacher.

    "It sure was," said the little girl.

    "My kitty raised her back, went 'Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Fffffff,' but before she
    could say 'Fuck!,' the Rottweiler ate her!"

    The teacher had to leave the room.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  65. captainsousie

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    I went to a Baptist church for much of my young life so I can appreciate this one. I hope you all enjoy.

    Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

    He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

    He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

    Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  66. joshwolftree

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    Posted 1 year ago #
  67. joshwolftree

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    Posted 1 year ago #
  68. captainsousie

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    Posted 1 year ago #
  69. trailspike48

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    A man in bed with a married woman had to hide in the closet when her husband showed up unexpectedly. While he was hiding a voice says, Kinda dark in here isn't it, the guy asked what are you doing in here? and the voice said just playing catch. Then would you like to buy my ball?, the guy asks how much and the voice says $50.00. The guy responds that's kinda high! So the voice says I'm not sure let me go ask my dad. The guy quickly decides to buy the ball for $50.00. That week the little boy goes to confession and when he enters he says, Kinda dark in here isn't it. The father says, Don't start that shit again.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  70. uberam3rica

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    My jokes are like hot chicks. You rarely get them, and when you do, they aren't nearly as good as you thought they'd be.

    As long as I got a pipe full of baccy and a nose full of snuff, I'm a happy camper
    Cigarettes are an addiction, cigars are a hobby, pipes are a religion
    Posted 1 year ago #

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