Telling My Parents I Began Smoking

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dublinboy18

Lurker
Apr 25, 2015
5
0
I wanted to make this post to help encourage anybody who may be in that boat where you have began smoking, live with your pmyents and don't know what to tell them. Hopefully this helps you guys out :)
Being 18, I still live with my parents and my life is pretty chaotic at the moment.
I began smoking as a way to deal with the stress of money, education, work and all other teenage problems :P The pipe seemed ideal as it takes a while to smoke and is relatively cheap!
Nobody else in my family smokes and I didn't want to have to hide it from them and feel a huge weight on my shoulders... So I told them and it went much better than expected :D
I brought my pipe and tobacco downstairs and said

"Dad, can I show you something? Look what I bought."

*Shows pipe & tobacco*

*Now before you say anything- I bought this to help me relax, calm down and deal with stress. I won't smoke it often, I'll only use it outside and if you like, I'll throw away my tobacco if you really like"

*No, no keep it- I'm just shocked is all. Sure go out the back there and light it up for yourself and tell me how it goes."

"Cheers dad, thanks for being so cool about it." :)
Then he told me about different types of tobaccos like flake, plug, ribbon cut and how he often admired farmers while he was out fishing who would be puffing away on their pipe and how relaxing he thought it looked.
Bottom line and the whole point of this was that all the thoughts of how bad it's gonna be, how disappointed they'll be and how sad, angry and annoyed thet might get is just in your head :)
Heck, I think my dad even respects me more now that I smoke a pipe. I think it reminds him of himself when he was my age.
Tell your parents! Don't be afraid as they'll probably look up to you for being honest :)

 

brass

Lifer
Jun 4, 2014
1,840
7
United States
I suspect your Dad respects you not because you smoke a pipe, but for manning up about your new smoking hobby. Enjoy!
Maybe get your Dad a pipe for Father's Day. :?:

 

okiescout

Lifer
Jan 27, 2013
1,530
6
Congratulations on being honest with your parents over something you were concerned they might not approve of. I think your father is a pretty smart guy :D

 

dublinboy18

Lurker
Apr 25, 2015
5
0
Thanks very much, folks! I don't plan on spending too much, warren :) The time alone and relaxation should compensate for that! We've all got to treat ourselves :) Brass, do you have any recommendations for a good pipe starters set for my dad? Or do you think I should buy some cigars? He hasn't smoked in donkeys so I'm afraid to overpower him.

 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,433
It sounds like a good moment in your relationship with your dad. The strange thing is, in many instances, parents would rather have something "difficult" to deal with, related to their children, than not. Nothing too terrible, but they want to be a party to their progeny's real lives and not closed out. Many of us who were very private and never bothered our folks with anything we though we could handle ourselves actually became more distant. I managed closeness with my folks, to a degree, but realized I'd overdone the privacy when a sibling raised more of a ruckus. This was a good thing for you and your dad, and I think your plan to observe some moderation is a good bargain.

 

northernneil

Lifer
Jun 1, 2013
1,390
1
I bought this to help me relax, calm down and deal with stress. I won't smoke it often, I'll only use it outside
This is the same line of reasoning I used when I told my folks that I smoked marijuana. Oh how the times have changed :rofl:

 
Mar 1, 2014
3,646
4,916
Just get your own place, there's no (or at least greatly reduced) potential conflict and it's healthier for everyone.
Hopefully this next generation can buck the ridiculous trend of kids staying 'till they're 30.
Also I wonder if there isn't a better way of putting it than saying that you've started "smoking", as in common vernacular that means you're buying two packs of cigarettes every day and will die of cancer before 40.

We even have the official definition according to the U.S. health care thingy (don't know what to call it now) that three or less uses of tobacco every week does not count as being a "smoker".

 

jackswilling

Lifer
Feb 15, 2015
1,777
24
Wow, that went well. Respect your courage and maturity. Way ahead of me at 18. The cost of pipe smoking can be negligible and if it relaxes and is enjoyable, then it is priceless.

 

delro

Starting to Get Obsessed
Jan 7, 2015
204
2
If you need a pipe for teenage problems wait until you become an adult you'll be showing your dad heroin and needles. Good luck.

 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,433
I don't know about teenage being a relatively easy time. Pretty rough, lots of complete changes every year or two.

 

maxx

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 10, 2015
709
6
My youngest sister, who's in her 50s, smokes cigarettes and keeps that from our parents. She even asked her boyfriend not to smoke in front of them. Parents are powerful people in our lives. I told the family this weekend about my pipe smoking and got a positive reaction. It feels good not being secretive about it.
Okay, now all you others hiding your enjoyment of pipes from the family: Dublinboy18 and I have done it. You can too . This month of May is Tell Your Parents You're a Pipe Smoker Month. Do it, and let us know how it went.

 

warren

Lifer
Sep 13, 2013
11,699
16,207
Foothills of the Chugach Range, AK
This theme has been hashed over before. But, I still do not understand this compelling need to tell your parents that you have taken up smoking.
dublinboy: There will come a time when you, hopefully, will look beyond self-gratification as a means of avoiding stress. Instead, you will gain a certain amount of pride in facing the problems which are causing the stress and resolving them. It comes with maturity which I sincerely hope you achieve.

 

jkrug

Lifer
Jan 23, 2015
2,867
8
Well done! I admire the fact that you chose not to hide this from your folks and were straight forward and honest about it. Good for you! :puffy:

 

johnscs

Might Stick Around
May 23, 2009
87
90
Hear hear ... Good on you, dublinboy. Letting your dad know that you've decided to smoke pipes shows maturity and the integrity to face possible disapproval. Lots of decisions that we take as adults have consequences, including objections from others (including family members, friends, and authority figures). I think you did exactly the right thing by coming out in the open with your pipe.
I admire you: It took me a couple of years after I turned 18 to get up the nerve to reveal to family members that I'd taken up pipe smoking. Kind of a shame, as it was kind of stressful to keep it under wraps (though I was quite open about it while I was away at college). As it turns out, my parents' reaction was pretty similar to the way you described your dad responding. My mom not only approved - she actually encouraged me. After coming out of the shadows, I enjoyed my pipe a lot more (and a lot more often).

 

nachman

Starting to Get Obsessed
Jun 27, 2013
228
3
My Dad first caught me smoking (cigarettes) when I was 12 ( in those days, there was no age restriction on buying tobacco). He doubled up his fist and knocked me through a big stand mirror. He then told me the next time he caught me smoking he would get the biggest, blackest cigar he could find and make me smoke it until I was sick, and if I told my Mum how I got my face smashed he would get me again. The next time I was caught, my Mum caught me smoking cigars. He didn't buy that big black cigar, he just gave up. I didn't start smoking a pipe till I was at University and found out girls liked pipe smoke a lot better than cigar smoke. The funny thing about all this is that both my parents smoke cigarettes. I guess times have changed.

 

voorhees

Lifer
May 30, 2012
3,834
937
Gonadistan
Many of us who were very private and never bothered our folks with anything we though we could handle ourselves actually became more distant.
Good point mso489. When I was a teen in the 80's I didn't discuss anything with my father as he was a bit overbearing and tyranical during those years. Instead choosing my mother to talk to about life and my problems. I get along fine with my father now, but mother is my confidant and advisor.

 

drezz01

Can't Leave
Dec 1, 2014
483
6
Good on you DublinBoy! You're an adult now and adults make their own decisions. That said...
I'm 28, live on my own, and I still put the pipes away whenever I suspect my parents might pop over.
My old man was a cigarette smoker much of his life and it took him a long time and a lot of effort to quit. He always told my brother and I when we were kids that he would break our hands if he ever caught us smoking (he wasn't abusive in the least mind you - just an empty threat). He had his struggles with the bottle as well and is 20 odd years sober now; he gives me grief when I drink casually, I guess he figures it's a slippery slope and he believes the predisposition toward addiction is hereditary.
Basically, I put away the pipes to avoid the grief and/or lecture.

 
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