Sunday Morning Smile ( An Ode to Fr. Leonard )

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newbroom

Lifer
Jul 11, 2014
6,088
6,413
Florida
Father Leonard

A tribute by the anagrammatic Jonah Nose, with apologies to the poetic Lewis Carroll
You are old, Father Len, the young man exclaimed

And I notice from long observation

That your pipe stays alight

By day and by night

Without bother or deep tribulation.
It's a knack, said the sage, that I've honed to an art

From years of work and hard toil

For the Queen and her dad

Through good times and bad

Though I never once left England's soil.
You are wise, said the youth, and wondrously deft

At smoking your pipe with success.

Does it help when you finger

Your bowl and then linger?

How does one acquire such prowess?
You must practice a lot; you have to start young

And keep it on day and night

You must buy a good pipe

And tobacco that's ripe

Not a mixture that's scented and light.
Myself, when a boy, in my north London home

I practised for hours in my bed

To get a good length

Though it took all my strength

And left me quite weak in the head.
You're a star, said the youth, who was aged sixty-four,

And your diet is wholesome and healthy

Does this help in your aim?

Could we all do the same?

And win prizes, and thus become wealthy?
Not a chance, said Len E, I have secrets galore

To keep me ahead of the game

How to load; how to tamp

In the style of a champ

These are skills that have brought me great fame.
And I won't pass them on to young cubs like you,

Though you beg me again and again

If I did and you learned

The skills that I've earned

That could signal an end to my reign.
So just stop your noise, go and sit with the boys

Who can't make it last for an hour

When I light up and puff

On this shag that's so rough

You can marvel at all my great power.
With one last throw of the dice, he tried to be nice

And persuade the master to cite

How he puffed; how he blew

In short all that he knew

For a book that he wanted to write.
But the elder was coy and he said to the boy

(For by now he was getting the hump)

I won't say this again

For it causes me pain

Just clear off and go take a jump!
Interesting reading here:

http://www.pipeclubofnorfolk.co.uk/newsletters2006.php

 
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